The adoption process is a very personal one for waiting families. First, they must provide financial, medical and other personal information during the home study process, then they share a snapshot of their personal lives in their family profile. It is perfectly normal for waiting families to experience anxiety about having their lives be such an “open book.”

 

Once a family is active with an agency and their family profile is being shown to expectant mothers, it is also common to experience some anxiety about what impression those birth parents are getting of the family. Many waiting families worry that perhaps they aren’t attractive enough – that they must look like Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman to adopt a child. However, this is untrue.

 

Birth parents choose adoptive families for many reasons. To some birth parents, it is important that their child grow up in a specific region or state because they envision their child spending their days at the beach, or running through a field in the Midwest. Other birth parents want their child to be brought up in a specific religion and will therefore only consider families that are of that religion, while others want their child to grow up in a household with other children. Just as each adoption story is unique, so are the wants and desires of the birth parents.

 

There are however, some steps families can take to increase their chances of being selected. Families who are very narrow in their preferences (such as only willing to accept a Caucasian child or will only accept a child that has not been exposed to any drugs or alcohol in utero) may experience a longer wait as their profile can only be shown to a narrow group of expectant mothers. However, families that are willing to accept a bi-racial baby, or who are open to other social histories, will be exposed to a larger group of expectant mothers, therefore increasing their exposure greatly. Currently at American Adoptions, families who are willing to adopt a bi-racial child that is of any race and African American experience the lowest waiting times, as there is a great need for families to adopt these children.