Is adoption right for your family?

For many couples, the decision about whether or not to pursue adoption can be a hard one. The pain of infertility, coupled with failed infertility treatments and the rollercoaster of emotions that goes along with it can leave couples wondering if they will ever experience the joy of parenthood -- and whether or not they are ready to move on to adoption.

In order for an adoption journey to be a successful one it must be a decision that is fully accepted by both spouses. It is not uncommon for one spouse to be ready to move forward with adoption while the other remains unsure. Individual people grieve and handle difficult situations differently. It is important that each spouse allows the other to fully grieve and move past infertility at their own pace. If someone is not ready for the adoption process, or is not fully on board, it can often lead to complications with the adoption process itself. A spouse also should not feel pressured into pursing adoption simply because the other wants it.

It is also important for couples to be financially prepared for the adoption process. Whether you pursue a domestic or an international adoption, there are costs that you must be financially prepared to meet, including travel, medical costs for the child, legal fees, etc. Couples should carefully research all of their adoption options and compare those costs to the family's budget to determine if they are financially ready to pursue adoption. You should also think about the future - if pursuing adoption now will compromise your financial future and leave you unsure as to whether or not you will still be able to afford your daily expenses, such as your mortgage/rent, utilities, food, etc. then you may need to put your adoption decision on hold.

When deciding whether or not you are ready to pursue adoption, the key is to communicate with your spouse. Discuss all aspects of adoption - including each other's feelings regarding infertility, acceptance of an adopted child, financial security, etc. If both of you are in agreement and feel comfortable -- as a couple -- in pursuing adoption, then adoption is right for you.