The Role Flexibility Plays in Adoption
When pursing adoption, it is best that you and your spouse examine just how flexible you are regarding potential adoption situations vs. how long you are willing to wait for "the call."
Adoption is a personal decision and it becomes even more personal when considering what types of adoption and adoption situations you and your spouse are open to. While some couples are open to adopting a child of a different race or nationality than themselves, others find themselves uneasy with that prospect. Instead, many couples prefer to limit their adoption parameters, such as only being open to one race or are not willing to consider any adoption situations where the birth mother may have a certain medical or drug use history.
While this adoption journey is yours, it is also important to carefully step back and consider all aspects of your adoption, weighing what is most important to you and your spouse against other aspects that may not seem so important, after all. While it is perfectly OK to be strict in your adoption preferences, you should also recognize that this could impact your wait time. Couples who are stricter in their adoption preferences typically experience a longer wait time than those who are more open to various situations. For instance, if you and your spouse are only comfortable with adopting Caucasian newborn domestically whose birth mother reported no drug usage and a limited medical history, than you will likely endure a longer wait. However, if you are open to adopting an African-American child, or a child whose mother may have reported light drug use during her pregnancy, then you will likely experience a shorter wait. The same also applies to international adoptions -- if you are very strict in your preferences, you may wait longer for a referral that meets your parameters.
Before beginning an adoption journey, carefully examine what types of situations you and your spouse would be comfortable with -- including drug use and its possible effects, medical conditions that may present themselves in a birth mother's medical history (such as depression, ADHD and diabetes) and other considerations such as race. Research domestic and international adoption to decide which option best suits you. Also carefully consider your emotions -- if you feel you would rather wait longer and have a more limited adoption profile then the choice is yours. If you fear a long wait and feel the most important aspect is bringing home your child as soon as possible, then perhaps you should consider opening yourselves up and becoming more flexible. However, do not open yourselves up to situations you aren't 100 percent comfortable with in an effort to reduce your wait time. The most important thing is to be as flexible as you are comfortable being. Also remember that you are always free to change your mind -- if you begin your adoption journey and later find that you are more comfortable with certain situations than you originally thought you were, contact your Adoption Specialist.
