Anyone who's adopted can tell you that the adoption journey is one with many ups and downs. When beginning your adoption journey, it is key to surround yourselves with a positive support system to celebrate the high points with you, but also be there for you during those not-so-high moments.
It is up to you to decide who you wish to tell about your adoption journey and what details you share with them. While some people are comfortable sharing the news with anyone and everyone, some choose to initially only share the news with close friends and family. Examine the relationship you have with your friends and family members -- surround yourself with those you know you can trust to be there for you and give you a "pick me up" when you need it. Also consider their attitude towards your adoption news -- if someone reacts negatively about your adoption news, then you know that that person probably won't be the best person to rely on for support.
If you choose to only share your news with a few close friends or family, then be upfront with them -- let them know that you may need them to be there for you and help you through this process. Tell them that there will be times when you simply need someone to listen or help take your mind off of the wait. Letting them know that you are counting on them to support you during this time will prepare them for the ride of ups and downs with you.
Should we build a support system with others waiting to adopt?
It can be very helpful to visit with others who truly know what it is like to walk in your shoes. There is a huge comfort in knowing that you are not alone and finding similarities with others. However, it is crucial to remember that every couple's adoption journey is completely different -- even if they adopt from the same agency, state or country. An adoptive family can definitely surround themselves with other couples who have adopted already or who are waiting to adopt as long as it continues to be supportive and helpful. Beware, however, that sometimes these groups can focus on the not-so-fun aspects of the adoption journey, such as the paperwork or the wait, which can negatively affect the attitude of others in the group. If you choose to build a support system with others waiting to adopt, make sure that the group focuses on the bigger picture -- the child they will soon welcome into their lives. Focusing on the negativity isn't healthy for anyone during an adoption journey. While there will be ups and downs on this journey, keeping those with positive, supportive attitudes near you will help you each step of the way during this exciting -- and emotional -- time of your life.
