Dave and I were married in 1998 and always dreamed of having a family. We started trying 2 months after we were married. After years on the infertility roller coaster we realized that being pregnant was no longer important-we just wanted to have a child. I heard about American Adoptions in Oct 2002 through a work colleague who had recently adopted a baby. He gave me his wife’s phone number and said to call her. I did and she answered so many of our questions.
We had questions regarding the adoption process, uncertainties of being able to love an adopted child the way you would a biological child, and many more. She explained the adoption process and assured us that once we adopted a baby we would have an overwhelming love for that baby –a love you’ve never felt before. (She became and remains one of my dearest friends to this day!) The next day I called American Adoptions for their information packet. Dave and I read through all the paper work and decided we really did want to adopt. Our desire for a child outweighed the fear of the unknown. We have a strong faith in God and believe our friends were sent to give us the encouragement and support we needed.
We had our home study in January 2003 and all of our paper work was complete by May. We were officially activated at the end of May and began our wait. We were told we could wait up to 18 months or more. We put everything in God’s hands and waited. Six weeks later we got a call. I will never forget that night. The agency called to say a birthmother had chosen us and her baby was due in August. I remember feeling overwhelmed and all I kept saying in my head was “wow! A birthmother chose us—US!!” My husband was away on business and I couldn’t reach him until later so I remember running outside and screaming to all my neighbors “ We’re going to have a baby in August!” They were all so excited.
Two weeks went by without a word from the birthmother. It was as though she vanished into thin air. We continued to get the nursery ready though just so we could be prepared. We had so much energy we didn’t know what else to do. Well the next call from the agency was on a Monday night. They found that the birthmother went with an attorney in her home state and so our dreams of this baby were gone. My husband and I never even cried over that because we strongly felt if that were the child God had intended for us then the birthmother would not have left American Adoptions. We looked at it as a stepping-stone.
We knew something wonderful would happen for us in the future. We were activated the next day and began our wait yet again. That Friday—just 3 days after we were activated again-I received a call at work that literally changed our lives over night forever. The call came around 11am—“ We have a baby boy who was born yesterday and want to know if we can show your profile to the mother?” The baby was in the state of Maryland and the birthmother had 30 days to change her mind. That was a big risk but something felt right about this. So we gave our permission. An hour and a half later the agency called and said “ we showed your profile to the mother and she loved you. Can you be here tomorrow at 1pm to discharge the baby from the hospital?” I never flew home from work so fast. My husband came shortly after. We cried together and said a prayer of thanks to God.
Our baby was born and he was waiting for us. We had a son! We called our families to share the good news. They were so excited. We made all the arrangements—travel, hotel, and someone to watch our cats. We had no clothes, blankets, bottles, diapers, nothing! Dave ran to the store for some things while my neighbors brought over baby clothes, a diaper bag and anything they felt we would need for our trip. I remember thinking how could one little person need all this stuff?! We got up the next morning and started driving. I don’t remember saying two words to each other the whole trip. We were so nervous. It was all so surreal. We got to the hospital and met the social worker.
Finally the nursing staff pushed over a bassinet with this beautiful little boy in it. Let me tell you there is nothing in this world that could ever prepare you for the overwhelmingness of that moment. We cried and laughed and thanked God for this living miracle in front of us. The end of a 5-year journey and the beginning of a lifetime one. We named our miracle Andrew James. The 30-day waiting period passed without much thought and then at 6 months we went to court to finalize our adoption.
We can’t believe how fast time has flown by and how our lives changed over night. We can’t remember life before Andrew. He is such a blessing. Adoption is a wonderful thing. We never had the fortune of meeting Andrew’s birthmother but we think of her every day and thank her for her wonderful gift to us. We thank God for her and Andrew. Our lives are so full and we feel so blessed. Our mornings are started with a big smile, our days are full of laughter and play, and our nights, well they’re still interrupted for an early morning feeding but we don’t care.
Every sleepless night is worth it just to have and hold that precious miracle everyday. I proudly tell everyone that we adopted a baby. It is a wonderful thing and I love to share our story. My friend was so right about the love you feel for your baby. It is overwhelming and different than any love ever felt before. It’s truly amazing! I’ll never forget the feeling in my heart the first time someone said “congratulations Mom”. I was finally a Mom!
I remember going through all the infertility treatments and hearing everyone’s story about how they got pregnant and wondering how our story would end. Wow—I love the ending of our story. I remember American Adoptions saying that somehow the right baby always ends up with the right family at the right time. They really know what they’re taking about. Everything happens in God’s time not ours. All the years and heartache of longing to be a family is erased the second you hold your baby. You no longer look in the past. Instead you look in your arms and see the future.
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