January 25, 2007

adoptive family parenting preparation

We are going to be 1st time parents when our adoption happens and were wondering if we should take some sort of parenting class and if so, where do we find one?

This is a great question and one that I get asked a lot so many others must have first time parent jitters…I know I did as well before I became a parent. Here's some advice I hope you'll find helpful:

Many hospitals offer great preparation classes for 1st time parents. However, when working on an adoption plan, there are pros and cons to attending these classes. It is true that some great parenting information can come out of attending these classes so it can certainly be beneficial. The biggest negative I've heard from others is that it can be emotionally difficult to attend these classes with other couples who are pregnant knowing that even if you are currently in a match with a birth mother, there still is that risk that it will not be a successful adoption.

So…you are probably wondering what you can do instead of attending a class like this if you too feel it might be too emotionally difficult. There are many other options. A few hospitals offer parenting classes that are specifically tailored to adoptive couples. You are very lucky if your home town hospital offers this as this is still pretty new. Other hospitals offer refresher courses for grandparents. Some couples I've spoken to have signed up for those classes and have found attending this type of atmosphere less challenging emotionally to be around grandparents instead of pregnant couples. Another option is to talk to other women either in your family or within your circle of friends who have either become parents recently or who have even been daycare providers. They can be great mentors. Others have turned to books to help prepare for what to do when a little one joins your family. Here is a great book that you can look into if this sounds like a great option for you…

What to Expect the First Year, Second Edition (Hardcover)

by Heidi Murkoff (Author), Sandee Hathaway (Author), Arlene Eisnberg (Author)

I just wanted to again say that it's very normal to have worries about becoming a first time parent. With many adoptions, the baby can be released from the hospital directly to the adoptive couple. If you experience an adoption like this, then please know that you'd get to be involved during the discharge at the hospital so the nurses would go over what formula to feed the baby, how to bathe the baby, cord care, and any other basic baby care that you'd need to know. It's also very helpful to locate a pediatrician you feel comfortable with as well because they are a wealth of knowledge early on and later as the months start to pass and the baby begins to do new things.

I sure hope this information is helpful to you and anyone else who might be having these jitters.