Through experience, we have noticed a general pattern, and it makes sense: the more open a family is on their Adoptive Parent Questionnaire (APQ), the shorter their wait time. Therefore, a family’s goal when completing the APQ should be to remain as flexible as possible, while of course, remaining within their own comfort level.

 

While finding your comfort level and making sure you stay within those parameters is important, the process by which you come to this decision is, as well. Before deciding on your comfort limits, it is imperative that you do not take what others around you say at face value at this time, as our world is unfortunately fraught with exaggerated misinformation, not only about contemporary adoption, but also about prenatal health risks, for example. Research everything. You may find yourself surprised to read the facts when you trust yourself to assess a source’s true credibility, rather than passively taking in whatever the media or status quo would like you to believe.

 

Some factors that you will have to consider include level of multi-cultural diversity with which you are comfortable, whether you are open to assisting with the birth mother’s medical and living expenses (which more than 80 percent need), and degree of future contact you plan to have with the birth mother.

 

Deciding on degree of openness in an adoption is an evolving process for many couples – they begin the adoption process with strict requirements based on preconceived notions, but grow to be more open as they learn more. Others come into the adoption process with a staunch set of pre-existing requirements, but never feel comfortable deviating from their original plan.

 

While level of openness is usually correlated to wait-time, this isn’t always the case. Some families with very strict parameters may adopt in just a month, while another couple whose APQ reads very open may take several months longer to place. Remember, your comfort level is most important.