Once you make the decision to actively pursue adoption, the wait can seem like a lifetime. For many adoptive couples, time almost seems to stand still as they wait for “the” phone call – the one telling them that an expectant mother has chosen them, that their dream to grow their family through adoption will soon come to fruition.
At this stage, you also may be anxiously waiting for that phone call – or have already received a match and are counting down the weeks until the big birthday. No matter what your situation is, the wait can often seem endless.
How do I deal with the wait time?
It is easy to get frustrated and caught up in the wait time. However, you should try to maintain as normal a routine as possible. While this is an exciting time in your life, try not to let the impending adoption consume your every thought. Take this time to do things you enjoy that will be harder to do with a newborn – enjoy late-night romantic dinners at your favorite Italian bistro, go out to the movies, even take advantage of the simple things like wearing hoop earrings – before you have to put them out-of-reach of tiny little hands.
Many adoptive parents also keep a journal during this time. This is a great way to process your emotions and record your adoption journey. As your child grows, you may one day choose to share this journal with them, which would also give you a great opportunity to explain to them why you chose adoption and give them insight into what your adoption journey was like.
In this day and age of the Internet, many couples choose to share their story in the form of online blogs or on message boards. Sharing your story may help you process your emotions, and can also inspire or help others who are also struggling with the wait.
You can also choose to use this energy to make a difference – volunteer in your community. Coach a children’s soccer team, teach Sunday school at your church or volunteer for another organization that you admire. Volunteering not only helps to strengthen the community your future child will grow up in, but you will also be serving as a great role model for your child – and the rest of the children in your community.
While waiting can seem like an eternity, know that everyone’s adoption journey is special and unique in its own way. Celebrate this time with your spouse!