Coping with Mother's Day

As families across the nation celebrate Mother's Day next week with flowers and gifts, this holiday can also be a very difficult day to face for some waiting families.

When facing infertility, Mother's and Father's Day can be an emotional day for many couples. These holidays can also be especially difficult for waiting families, who may not feel like "celebrating" the day while they are still awaiting a child.

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association offers these suggestions for couples to handle the emotional aspects of Mother's Day:

Take a Proactive Stance
Think ahead about the day and plan a strategy in advance. Don't wait until the holiday is upon you to make plans.

Focus on Your Parents/Grandparents or Special Parental Figure
Make this a special time for them. If a family gathering is planned and it will be pleasant for you, go and enjoy. But, if lots of children or pregnant relatives will be present, and you know this will be upsetting, consider other possibilities. You might plan to see your mother/father at another time during the weekend.

Recognize Potential Painful Situations
Restaurants, for example, may be a source of discomfort. They may ask if you are a mother or a father in order to give you a complimentary item. Be prepared for this question so you are not taken off-guard.

Speak to your Minister or Rabbi
Before a religious service, talk with your clergyperson (or write a letter) and educate him/her about the experience with infertility. Perhaps he/she would be willing to say a prayer or offer words of support for those struggling with this crisis.

Plan an Enjoyable Day Together
It is important to work as a couple during these difficult days. Consider tuning out the holiday emphasis entirely and make it an opportunity for a fun day together. Plan a day outdoors to go hiking, bicycling or walking on a beach. See that movie you've wanted to see or create a special meal.

A Special Day: May 9

Celebrate Birth Mother's Day

As many families prepare to celebrate Mother's Day on May 10, there is also another important day to honor that weekend - Birth Mother's Day.

Birth Mother's Day is celebrated the day before Mother's Day as a way to honor and recognize birth mothers and their brave decision to choose adoption.

If you have adopted and exchange pictures and letters with your child's birth mother, take the time to write her a letter or a card to honor this day and the choice she made. Birth Mother's Day is also a great way for you to discuss adoption with your child and share with them their adoption story and how special it is.

Whether you are an adoptive family, are waiting to adopt or are merely a supporter of adoption, celebrate Birth Mother's Day this weekend and honor the many brave and selfless birth mothers who chose adoption for their children.

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