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Fun in the Sun

Sun safety for tiny tots

As the hot summer approaches, families are taking advantage of the warm weather to enjoy lazy afternoons at the pool, fun-filled family camping trips, frolics at the park and other outdoor adventures. However, parents should also take heed of a danger lurking above.

The summer sun can pose a huge health risk to babies, young children and adults alike. Medical professionals urge parents to pay careful attention to sun safety to protect their family now from sunburns and skin cancer later in life.

The American Academy of Pediatrics offers these tips to protect children from the sun:

• Keep babies younger than 6 months out of direct sunlight. Find shade under a tree, umbrella or the stroller canopy.
• When possible, dress yourself and your kids in cool, comfortable clothing that covers the body, like lightweight cotton pants, long-sleeved shirts and hats.
• Select clothes made of a tight weave - they protect better than clothes with a looser weave. If you're not sure how tight a fabric's weave is, hold it up to see how much light shines through. The less light, the better.
• Wear a hat or cap with a brim than faces forward to shield the face.
• Limit your sun exposure between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., when UV rays are strongest.
• Wear sunglasses with at least 99 percent UV protection (look for child-sized sunglasses with UV protection for your child).
• Use sunscreen.
• Set a good example. You can be the best teacher by practicing sun protection yourself. Teach all members of your family how to protect their skin and eyes.

To learn more about summer sun safety, visit http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_Sunsafety.htm.

Pictures and Letters - An Adoptive Mother's Perspective

Editor's note: The following is a narrative written by Sara, an adoptive mother, regarding her family's ongoing correspondence with her child's birth family and how it has impacted their lives.

Like most families starting the adoption process, we were a little worried after reading about the required picture and letter agreement we would have to make with the birthparents.

Now a year after our adoption, we know that these thoughts were completely nonsensical. We've found that sending pictures is not a chore, as we had imagined it. It doesn't take any more time and we don't have problems remembering to do it. In fact, as we send out all of our son's pictures from each month to our parents, siblings, and family members who live in other states, we have simply added our son's birth mother to this email list. She gets all of his pictures every time we send them out. This way she gets the whole sense of what he is up to and how he is growing, rather than a small glimpse from a few pictures selected by us each month. Of course, she has seen the cute pics of him eating with food all over, playing in the bath tub, and reading books. But she's also seen the pictures of him crying, and with a bruise on his forehead (he is a boy after all), and the one where he crawled into the middle of our glass end table and was trapped inside!

In addition to the pictures each month we also keep in touch with emails. We send a message after every doctor appointment, letting her know how much he has grown and all of the great things his pediatrician says about him! We also add in any recent things he's learned to do, the size of clothes that he is wearing, and other stuff like that. Between doctor appointments we send smaller notes with general updates, like "another tooth came in yesterday!" Within these emails we also usually give some updates on my husband and I, ask questions about what she is doing, and respond to anything from her latest email. During the time leading up to our son's birth and the days following, we became close to his birth mom, so all correspondence we send is almost as much for us as it is for her. We really want to keep that connection open and alive. We want our son to know that while she may be far away by distance, she is still close to us in our thoughts, and she is never farther away than an email can reach.

If you are an adoptive family and would like to share your views on how pictures and letters have affected your lives, or any other aspect of adoptive parenting, please submit to editors@americanadoptions.com. Due to confidentiality, no last names will be printed.

Questions & Answers With Megan

Megan
Kautio

Hello everyone, my name is Megan Kautio and I am an Adoptive Family Specialist with American Adoptions. I have had many wonderful experiences over time working with both birth parents and adoptive families. I use this weekly column to try and provide continued education and support to our clients based on questions that have been posed. My current role at American Adoptions is to advocate for and support our prospective adoptive families who are involved in our adoption process. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts with all of you.

Q. We are trying to prepare for travel, knowing that when we get the call, we may have to travel at a moment's notice. I am fully ready for this but we do have a couple concerns because my husband's job is very demanding and hard for him to get away. Our two concerns are:

1. When we get the call, I'm worried my husband won't be able to get off of work when the baby is born. Can I go by myself? Or, can I go by myself first and have him follow me down there a day or two later?
2. ICPC-I am not sure my husband can be away from his work for 2 full weeks. Is there any way around ICPC? Does it always take that long?

Please share your thoughts and any advice. Thank you…

A. We know that the travel and time spent away from home can be stressful and difficult, but unfortunately there is no way around it in most match scenarios. Let me address your first concern and your question if you can go by yourself. First, the reason you may get the call and have to travel very quickly is that you may get matched with a birth mother who is due to deliver any moment or you may get matched with a birth mother who has already had the baby. Obviously these situations are rare but they require you to think fast and be very flexible because there is not a lot of time for planning. Further, even if you are matched with a birth mother and know her due date, it will still be impossible to plan ahead completely because you will not travel until she is in active labor or a cesarean section or induction is scheduled. This is important because due dates are often inaccurate and we do not want a family to fly out based solely on the due date and then wind up waiting around for several days to weeks before the baby is even born. Your Adoption Specialists will give you direction and feedback/advice on when to travel based on the particular needs and desires of the birth parent(s).

It is within your best interest to arrive as soon as possible because most birth parents take comfort knowing that you are beginning to bond with the baby and it lowers their stress level just to know you have made it to town. They also need to know that this is your #1 priority above all else and they often feel more secure when they can begin getting to know you more. If your birth mother desires this type of contact with you, it is crucial that you both arrive as soon as possible. There have been situations where one adoptive parent has been able to travel immediately and the other adoptive parent has had to follow on a later flight. These things can be acceptable with certain situations especially if your birth mother is aware and comfortable with this plan. However, both adoptive parents need to be present because the birth mother needs to know that you are both committed to this adoption and that you are both excited. Your husband will be able to provide an additional element of support and security to the birth mother, so it is important that she sees him as being just as involved as you.

If, when you get your match call, you are still concerned about the travel arrangements for your husband, you will need to begin planning and discussing this with your Adoption Specialists so they can assist you with the best plan to meet the birth parent's specific needs.

ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) is something that every Adoption Professional has to follow any time that you go to another state to adopt a baby. It is law and it is crucial that it is strictly followed for your adoption to be secure. We tell families to plan to be in the birth mother's state for at least 7-10 business days on average. During this time, you will spend time in the hospital until the baby is discharged from the hospital. Legal adoption paperwork will be completed and you and/or the birth parents may have to go to court depending on the state laws. Once everything is finished again according to the specific state procedures, an ICPC packet is completed and forwarded to the State ICPC office in the birth mother's state. Once this occurs, the process is out of our hands. Once ICPC in birth mother's state reviews and approves the packet, it is forwarded to your State ICPC office. Once they have reviewed and approved the packet, you will receive verbal approval that you can return home with the baby. We cannot tell families how long this process will take because we have no control over the efficiency or timing it takes for the ICPC offices to review incoming packets. We know that you would rather be able to get home with your new baby and get settled, and we would rather you be able to get home right away also! However, we cannot control this process or do anything to change it.

Now, once all the documents are signed and everything is in order to be filed with ICPC, your husband can return home if need be. Other families have done this and it is fine as long as one of you remains in the birth mother's state with the baby until approval is granted. Some families have had a friend or family member come out and stay with them if their spouse had to return home prior to approval, so that is an option for you that has worked well for others. Prepare for the time away from home now, accept that you are going to be away from home for a while and probably very anxious to get home. Plan some activities or ways that you can pass the time exploring the birth mother's state, although you will be pretty busy as it is! Enjoy your time together with your new little one…I am sure once you arrive home, you will have tons of visitors and activity and maybe even wish you had taken advantage of the quiet time you had away with your new baby all to yourselves!

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