Surviving the First Step: Adoption Paperwork

Many families may find their minds dizzy with all of the information that they must provide to take those first steps in the adoption process. In the beginning, it may seem like there are endless mounds of paperwork, leaving many families to wonder why they must go through so much just to become a mom and dad.

Families must remember that the adoption process is a series of specific steps and protocols that have been established by the legal system and governmental agencies to ensure that all parties - the birth parents, the child and even the adoptive family - are properly protected and represented.

Some couples may feel some anxiety, even resentment, for having to provide certain personal information, such as financial statements and medical exams, to be approved for an adoption. Couples should rest assured that this by no means is a reflection on their character, nor should they feel "singled out" - millions of couples have gone through the same process.

While this initial paperwork process may seem daunting at first, many couples often say that once this step is completed, they realize that the process really wasn't as hard as they previously thought it was going to be.

Making the decision to adopt a child is a wonderful, exciting moment in a couple's life. While it may seem as if the paperwork and home study process may drag on, couples should rest assured that this process is just one step in the adoption journey - a journey that will lead them to the magical moment when they are forever "mom" and "dad."

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Questions & Answers With Megan

Megan
Kautio

Hello everyone, my name is Megan Kautio and I am an Adoptive Family Specialist with American Adoptions. I have had many wonderful experiences over time working with both birth parents and adoptive families. I use this weekly column to try and provide continued education and support to our clients based on questions that have been posed. My current role at American Adoptions is to advocate for and support our prospective adoptive families who are involved in our adoption process. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts with all of you.

A Note from Megan

I am choosing to run this newsletter column that we ran previously because we have a need for families who are open to birth parents with bipolar diagnoses. I am hopeful that by sharing this article again, it may reach more families who are open to considering birth parents with a history of bipolar. Just last week, we were gathering profiles to show to a potential birth mother who is very committed to her adoption decision who is due to give birth to a Caucasian baby boy due in October. This birth mother has received prenatal care and there is no known substance usage. Unfortunately, we were only able to show her a limited number of family profiles. Luckily, she has found a family that she likes and a match will be transpiring soon, but this is a common occurrence when we have birth parents who have bipolar diagnoses or who have family members who have had diagnoses. I know mental health is one of several health concerns that can be very scary and I feel that the more information and knowledge that one can have about something is helpful…this is in no way meant to push families to open up if they are not comfortable doing so.

Q. We would like to know how we can open our APQ to help our profile exposure. Are there certain items we could open up to that would make a big difference? We might consider opening up more to certain mental health situations, but are wondering which the more commonly seen in birth parents are?

A. I am so glad you asked about this as we do have a current need for more families to be open to Bipolar at this time. American Adoptions has definitely seen an increase in the incidence of bipolar and also depression in birth parent's medical histories. There could be several factors leading to this increase that should be considered. Most importantly, society in general has more cases of diagnosed mental health issues. This is likely because mental health issues are more openly discussed today than they were even five years ago and they do not carry as much stigma as in the past. More people are seeking treatment, which has led to more individuals being given diagnoses and prescribed medications to help them lead healthy lifestyles. The incidence of mental health conditions is likely not any higher than it ever has been, however it appears to be more common because people are becoming more educated about it and talking openly about it. For example, Jane Pauley spoke out about her coping and living with bipolar. Other things to consider when thinking of your own openness to bipolar in birth families is the realization that it is common for people to be misdiagnosed and/or for someone to be given a diagnosis many years earlier in their life and to no longer be in need of treatment. It should also be noted that an extremely stressful incident can provoke an emotional response that can mimic a bipolar disorder, which could influence an incorrect diagnosis by a therapist. For example, a birth mother could state she has previously been diagnosed with bipolar, but in further exploration with her, we might find out that she received the diagnosis at age 14 (much earlier than most people are diagnosed) after she was the victim of rape. She could have experienced severe depression and began utilizing drugs to cope with the rape. She could have really been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the rape and the drug use could have also altered her moods all which could have incorrectly led the counselor to provide her a bipolar diagnosis. We have definitely seen situations like this before.

It is also common for birth parents to have limited knowledge about their family history. For example, they may say that they think their aunt has bipolar, but they cannot be sure and do not know if she is taking medication or that she for sure has it. Mental health, such as depression and bipolar, can be genetic and there can be a link in families just like alcoholism or diabetes. However, there are many environmental factors that play a very large part as well. For example, a child who is adopted into a stable environment whom would otherwise have been in a birth family that was overly stressed or even abusive, may thrive and learn appropriate and healthy coping skills and never experience mental health disorders. Also, there are many cases where people are diagnosed with bipolar or depression who cannot find any other known relative who has had a mental health diagnosis. I have a friend who was diagnosed with bipolar in his early 20s and has no history of bipolar in his family, however there are a couple relatives who have depression. He also is able to control everything with medication and is leading a very normal and productive life.

Another huge factor to be considered when completing your APQ is that you may never receive a full history from your child's birth parents. For example, the birth mother may not know much if anything at all about her family's medical history. For example, what if the birth mother herself was either adopted and didn't know her own medical history or did not have contact with her family so she did not know much information. There is also a very high likelihood that the birth father is unknown and unable or unwilling to provide any information about his medical history. Therefore, there is always a chance that mental health conditions or other conditions could run in his family history and it would be unknown to the adoptive couple and to their child. Having knowledge that mental health history exists may be very helpful for a child later in life just as knowing if there is a family history of diabetes or breast cancer.

It is often true that adoptive families whose APQs are the most open typically do adopt quicker than those families whose APQs are not as open. If you'd like to open your own APQ up to accepting birth parents with Bipolar in their history, please contact your Adoptive Family Specialist to assist with this.

If you'd like to know more information in general about bipolar disorders, please consult your physician or a mental health professional as there is much more to know about this disorder than what is stated here and a complete educated decision is always recommended by our agency. We do not recommend researching medical information on the internet as much information found there can be misleading or inaccurate.

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