Personal Adoption Story

Our names are Todd, Romney, Kate and Sadie! We would like to thank everyone at American Adoptions, especially Alli and Angie, for helping us to make our dream come true. Most especially, however, we want to give our thanks to Sadie’s birth mother, Sarah.

There is so much we wish to share with prospective adoptive parents. If you are researching agencies, you may wonder why we chose American Adoptions. They were one of many agencies we contacted. We actually knew about American Adoptions from a friend of a friend, but felt we needed to gather information ourselves before making a final decision.

American Adoptions does so many adoptions each year that we felt confident they have seen just about everything and would be able to steer us in the right direction should something seemingly unusual occur. Another thing we liked about American Adoptions is the agency’s success rate. Many agencies list a high number of successful adoptions, but often times those numbers are skewed by spouses adopting step children, international adoptions and surrogacy. We liked that American Adoptions specializes in matching families with birth mothers. While we didn't know it before joining the agency, I think it is important to know that our birth mother Sarah told us she really liked working with the agency - Alli in particular.  When choosing an agency, it is important to choose one that provides alot of support and guidance to their clients, especially women facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Waiting is tough!  I’m not a patient person. My piece of advice is to really consider your Adoption Planning Questionnaire or “APQ.” Looking back, I realized that our first attempt at our APQ pretty much matched our own family histories. I think this is fairly typical, but can be extremely limiting if not a little vain. Asking an OBGYN or a pediatrician for guidance is a start, but likely they don’t have the answers you really need.  We met with a genetic counselor and that truly opened our minds and subsequently our APQ. I highly recommend this course of action.

There are all kinds of adoptions. Semi closed/open adoption is the most common. This typically means the exchange of letters and pictures through the agency. In fact, this is what Sarah requested. When we first spoke with Sarah on the telephone, we were very upfront with her. We told her that we intended to embrace and celebrate the adoption of our baby and that under no circumstances did we plan to take a baby out of a hospital and pretend the baby magically entered into our lives. Research clearly shows that it is to everyone’s benefit if the adoption is openly celebrated. And, having experienced the grief of losing so many babies ourselves, we sincerely felt that it would be cruel to close a door to Sarah. We gave Sarah all of our information and encouraged her to contact us anytime - before or after Sadie was born. Open Adoption is a relatively new concept. It requires educating those around you, and it absolutely requires trust. But, remember this. Sarah trusts us with the most precious gift in the entire world. Surely trusting her with our name and address is reasonable?

Waiting to be picked is difficult, but waiting for the baby to be born is beyond words. Sadie, for example, was born 16 days late. (Incidentally, Sadie’s full name is Sarah. We named her after her birth mother.) I thought for sure my hair would turn gray by the time she arrived. And, once she was born, it was hard not knowing whether or not she would truly be our daughter. She felt like our daughter, and letting go would have been impossibly hard. The morning Sarah terminated her parental rights we went to the hospital and stayed with Sadie while Sarah's attorney and Alli met with Sarah.  We held Sadie tight and hoped with all of our hearts.  We agreed that we love Sarah very much and that if she changed her mind, we would be gracious and let her know that we understood and would wish her well.  I had even planned to give her the outfit I bought for Sadie's homecoming.  The hospital's social worker actually was the one to tell us Sarah signed, and I burst into tears upon hearing the news.  Mostly, my tears were for Sarah.  My heart hurt so much for her.  I looked up and saw Sarah's dad outside the nursery window and I held Sadie up for him to see her, and then Todd and I went outside to greet him.  He shook Todd's hand and gave me a big hug and congratulated us.  Again, I burst into tears.  Afterwards, we went into Sarah's room.  She had pulled herself together before seeing us.  I, on the other hand, was a mess.  I started crying all over again and pathetically it was Sarah who held me.  That afternoon we went to Court and Sadie officially became our daughter.  Words fail me as I cannot describe the joy this brought to our hearts.

Before Sadie was born I was watching a documentary following several couples through infertility.  Everything from IVF to miscarriages.  One woman did eventually give birth and as she sees her baby for the first time, she says to him that he was entirely worth the struggle and that for him she would have struggled even more if it meant having him as
her son.  I feel that way too. The journey wasn’t easy and there were plenty of tears, but the result is truly magnificent.

Thank you for reading our story,

Todd, Romney, Kate and Sadie