Craig, Linda and Ellie's Adoption Story

Nothing can describe the heartbreak we experienced with what is referred to as a disrupted adoption. The phone call literally took our breath away as we were driving to take part in the delivery of ‘our’ baby. I still question how my husband maintained control of the car as he asked the caller – “Are you sure? Have you discussed this with your family? Ok, we will honor your decision”. As my husband grabbed my hand, he said the words every adoptive family dreads – “she changed her mind.” A flood of feelings came over me and my body went numb. Why was this happening when all the pieces had fallen into place so quickly over the past three weeks?

It seemed so right. Even though it was almost Christmas and the neighborhood was ablaze with twinkling lights, we returned home to a very dark and quiet house. It would not be the Christmas we had eagerly anticipated. Raw with emotion, we did what we knew to do – we turned to the Lord in prayer and petition, all the while giving thanks for the circumstances and this adoption journey He would continue to carry us through. He knew the desires of our hearts. We had to remind ourselves that we needed to trust Him.

Our disrupted adoption was a privately arranged situation. We had sent out a letter to everybody we knew asking him or her to share our desire to adopt with others. A friend of a friend connected us with this birth mother. We had chased many other leads on birth mothers who were considering adoption – to no avail. We had also applied to several small agencies, answered countless questionnaires, and made a number of scrapbooks to allow potential birth families to look into our lives. Yet, there was no activity. Small agencies typically place a small number of babies. This method was going to be a test of perseverance…and we weren’t getting any younger! Something had to change.

After grieving the loss of the child, whom we would never meet or hold, we felt the deep desire to move ahead. During one of the many sleepless nights that followed our heartbreak, I stumbled across the website for American Adoptions. Big questions welled up in my wounded heart – was this the agency that would bring us closer to being parents? Was a bigger agency going to be impersonal and challenging to work with? Do I really have to make another scrapbook? We made a call to our attorney’s office to find out which large agencies they had positive experience working with in the past. As a member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, we trusted their knowledge and expertise in working with multiple agencies across the country. When they mentioned American Adoptions, we knew we had the confirmation we needed. I picked up the phone and called the agency on January 4^th and began the process of gathering the required information.

Once it was all said and done, we were activated with American Adoptions on April 6^th. As a type “A” personality, I thrived on the fact that American Adoptions does almost everything electronically – including the scrapbook – which meant I did not have to cut and paste page after page of pictures…again! They tell you to live your ‘normal’ lives – don’t sit by the phone waiting for the phone call. Therefore, we kept ourselves busy. In the hustle and bustle of preparing for a business trip, I was completely dumbfounded when we received a call on May 23^rd notifying us that a birth mother from Indiana had selected our profile and her due date was…yesterday!

There was a rare request by our birth mother (only 1 in 1,000 request this) – she planned to take the baby home to have some time with the child before relinquishing it. It was a huge step of faith to agree to this situation after the emotional turmoil of the interrupted adoption only 6 months earlier. We knew the potential for another failed adoption, but we allowed God to open and close doors by saying “yes” we would pursue this placement.  We considered waiting for a more typical domestic adoption where she didn't want to take the baby home, but something urged us to accept this situation.

The birth mom finally went into Labor on Memorial Day and delivered a beautiful and healthy little girl. She took the child home for the longest 10 days of our lives, but on June 6^th we flew to Indiana and were blessed with the placement of this precious baby into our arms on June 7^th. We named her Elizabeth – which means consecrated to God. Her middle name is Grace – the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. It was endearing to later learn that our birth mother’s middle name is also Elizabeth. We lovingly call our daughter Ellie, and she has taken up full time residence in our hearts! Our prayer for her is that she will not only live up to her namesake, but that she will accept and walk closely with the Lord and enjoy all the rich blessings He has to pour out on her life.

One minute, we were a childless couple who longed for a baby. The next minute, we became parents to an unbelievable gift from a young woman who loves this child abundantly, yet, wants more for this precious baby than she is able to give. Throughout the entire process American Adoptions was professional, responsive and tremendously encouraging. Our social worker, Cara, never wavered in her belief that the birth mother would relinquish her child even though the odds were stacked against us. Although there were many people along the road who probably questioned the stability of the situation, Cara continued to coach us through the days leading up to our placement and was a true advocate for us.

What a difference a year makes! We now awaken each day to bright smiles and sparkling eyes, and we cherish the sweet sound of coos and “razz-berries!” We will continue to tell our daughter the wonderful story of her birth mother’s selfless love and God’s sovereignty. Our baby is a true blessing, and we thank the Lord, our birth mother, all our friends and family, and American Adoptions for allowing us to experience the best job of a lifetime – being parents.

If we can be of encouragement to you, please feel free to contact us at iamcraig@cox.net May your adoption journey be as sweet.

Sincerely,

Craig, Linda and Ellie