Personal Adoption Story

As we await our final post-placement appointment and our return trip to Maine to finalize our adoption, we wanted to write and tell you just how wonderful our adoption experience has been. We can only say this now that we have crossed the bridge into parenthood. The journey across that bridge was arduous at times and anyone feeling like it will never happen for them should know that they are not alone – it’s just part of the journey.

After many years of saying, “This will be our last Christmas alone,” we decided that January 1, 2006 would be the day we began our adoption journey. We had looked at several agencies online and were most interested in American Adoptions, based on their strong track record. Coincidentally, friends of ours had already selected American Adoptions and we did not even know it. Their experience turned out to be wonderful as they received their baby in just seven short weeks! Although we knew this was very uncommon, it certainly did get our hopes up for a reasonably quick match. We were finally activated in the Traditional II Program on April 4, 2006. We felt certain that we would finally have our long-awaited baby by Christmas 2006. However, Christmas came and went with no baby and no call. We asked several people to review our profile and tweaked it at least twice during our wait. We changed out pictures and over-analyzed all the possible reasons why we had not been picked yet … to the point that I thought perhaps I was too short and my husband thought he didn’t have enough hair! It sounds crazy now, but we were desperately trying to “figure out” what the problem was. We desperately wanted to hear something, ANYTHING from American Adoptions … any little tidbit of information or feedback. We knew that we weren’t supposed to hear anything along the way, but we nonetheless craved a call. We touched base with our Adoption Specialist every couple of months, when we couldn’t stand the not hearing anymore. While she was nice and understanding of our desperation to hear something, the bottom line is there is really nothing to tell … until you get “the call.”

Our call finally came in March 2007. Actually, we first received what I called a pre-call. Laurie called to tell us that a birth mother was interested in our profile but that her race was outside of our APQ. We had selected only Caucasian and it turned out that she was 50% Hispanic. We deliberated and deliberated all day and evening after speaking to Laurie. Ultimately, we decided to say yes and leave it in God’s hands as to whether this baby was meant for us. Thank God we did! Looking back, it should have been a no-brainer. To think that we could have turned down our precious little angel is now impossible to imagine. We were so concerned about whether the child would feel “different” because the two of us are so fair skinned that we nearly missed out on the biggest blessing in our lives. We waited another week or so before we received the official call, but it felt like an eternity and it was all we could think about. When we received the call and the entire time leading up to the birth, we were excited, but not as much so as we thought we would be. I think that we were subconsciously guarding our emotions because we always knew in the back of our minds that things could fall through at any time. No matter what your emotion throughout the adoption process, it’s okay. There is so much going on and so much to anticipate and worry about – it’s no indication of how you will feel once your baby is truly yours.

We were very fortunate that our baby was due about a month later … or so we thought. The due date wound up being moved out to about two weeks later and our birth mother ultimately wound up being induced. We arrived in Maine the night before the induction. We had planned to pick up our birth mother the next day, take her to lunch, then head to the hospital, but she thought that her water broke that morning so plans changed. We met our birth mother at the hospital and we instantly hit it off. Over the course of the next few days, we absolutely fell in love with her. She was the sweetest, strongest 18-year-old girl we could imagine. We were right outside the door when our daughter uttered her first cry, and we both cried along with her. She was in our arms within minutes and our birth mother wanted us to spend the entire hospital time with both the baby and her. She only held the baby twice and was surprisingly comfortable with all of us being in her hospital room at the same time. The hospital experience and our birth mother were both better than we could have ever hoped for. And our daughter, who we named Hailey Elizabeth with the birth mother's blessing, is perfect! She is healthy, alert, adorable, and the most easygoing baby we have ever seen. Every single day with her is a joy and a blessing.

We are so grateful that we chose American Adoptions and plan to work with them again for our second baby. Everyone was nice and as helpful as they could be, and they truly deliver what they promise. It may not be on your timetable, but it all works out in the end. In hindsight, we would not change a thing because Hailey is worth every bit of it and then some. Our best advice to waiting families is to never lose hope but do go on with your lives. Stay busy with other things and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when your time comes. Be flexible and trust American Adoptions. Embrace the experience with your birth mother. Relish your time away with your new baby. Cherish every moment … and of course take lots of pictures! J