Personal Adoption Story

After many years of infertility and five cycles of in-vitro fertilization, Kevin and I realized that forming our family either biologically or through adoption were one in the same. The end result would be a wonderful family and the answer to our many hopes and dreams for our future.

Our adoption story began in November 2005 when we were told by our doctors that we would be unable to have children of our own. We were introduced by friends of ours to a wonderful couple who adopted their son with the assistance of American Adoptions. Their story is remarkable with a quick match and placement of their son within a matter of weeks. They inspired us to get moving on the next step toward forming our family. We took the winter to relax and enjoy the holidays and got started on all of the paperwork. By May of 2006 the paperwork process was complete and we were active with American Adoptions. The waiting began, but this time it was different. We knew that the end result would be what we had always dreamed of – a baby and the beginning of our family!

In September 2006, just four months later, we received the phone call that we had been dreaming of and waiting for. Our daughter’s birth parents had chosen us! We were beyond excited and we couldn’t wait to start planning for the arrival of our baby!  Cara’s birth mother had some complications and was admitted to the hospital on Halloween 2006 – two months prior to her due date. We immediately rushed to her side in Pennsylvania and met Cara’s birth parents for the first time. We had such a wonderful experience with them for those few weeks prior to Cara’s birth. We were in complete awe of their presence and their steadfastness. They chose adoption for their daughter because they knew she would have the life that they dreamed of for her that at the time they could not give. We really bonded with them and went through a lot over the course of the next two weeks. We spent as much time with them at the hospital as possible. On November 10, 2006 Cara Noelle was born by c-section. She was born prematurely at 32 weeks gestation at a mere 4 pounds 1 ounce. What a beautiful little girl!  Although she was born so early, she was so strong and such a fighter. Her hospital stay in the NICU was only three weeks. She progressed so quickly and without any problems that we were able to take her home just after Thanksgiving. What a wonderful gift for the holidays and we had the most memorable Christmas ever with Cara!  She is 10 months old as I am writing this story and is a healthy 20 pounds and such a wonderful baby!

We were so thrilled with our experience and still had dreams for another baby. We have always dreamed that our “future family” was a family of four.  We began speaking with American Adoptions about becoming active again sometime in 2007 so we could begin the process of blessing Cara with a brother or sister. After Cara’s finalization in June 2007, we began the paperwork process to become active again. We thought by getting ourselves out there and active again, we would have a good chance of matching with a birth mother within a year or so.  So on August 1, 2007 we became officially “active” again with American Adoptions and the waiting began.

On August 8th (just seven days later!!!) we received the phone call that would change our lives forever! We had been selected by a birth mother in Tennessee to raise her baby boy. We were completely shocked and couldn’t believe our ears! We were just getting used to the idea of being active again and we were already selected. Just 48 hours later on August 10th we received word that she was in labor and that we should travel to Tennessee as soon as possible. This was about two weeks prior to her due date, so to say that we weren’t fully prepared is an understatement! Kevin was in Washington DC for business and Colleen was in New Jersey. Miraculously, Colleen was able to pack the car, get Cara ready and pick up her mother and began the drive to Tennessee a few short hours later. Kevin also was able to get on the road and would meet us there. Kevin arrived shortly after our son Daniel John’s birth and was able to spend a lot of time in the hospital room holding and feeding Danny. Colleen arrived a few hours later. He was born weighing 10 pounds 10 ounces; a whole baby bigger than our daughter Cara!  We spent many days bonding with him and his birth mother and her family. We were able to leave with him from the hospital and he stayed with us in our hotel for five days. The road was a little rocky as his birth mother changed her mind and decided to parent and took him back home with her for a week. Sadly, we made the long trip home without our son Danny. Although we were devastated, we completely understood her decision and respected her for it.  She was making the most difficult choice that any mother could ever possibly make and she decided that she wanted him back.  

We started getting back into our daily routine and picking up the pieces emotionally. A week later we got the phone call from American Adoptions that Danny’s birth mother had thought long and hard about her decision and realized that he belonged with us after all. I can’t even tell you what went through our minds! This was a dream come true as we always knew that we would think of Danny as our son even though we had only known him for six days. Happily, we got ourselves packed and made the joyous trip back to Tennessee to see our son. We spent a few more days in Tennessee waiting for ICPC to clear and then took our son home!

Words cannot express our gratitude to both Cara and Danny’s birth parents. They are some of the strongest people we have ever met and will ever know. To know so resolutely that their babies belong in our family is so priceless and a story that our children will always be told. Cara and Danny’s birth parents have given us the most precious gifts that anyone could possibly give – they have given us life, love and eternal happiness with our forever family! Cara and Danny will always know their adoption stories and of the wonderful people who brought them into this world to join our family.

We look at the minor disruption in Danny’s placement as just that – minor. His birth mother needed to be 100 percent sure that she was doing what was best for him and for her own family. That week that he was not with us is a week that his birth mother got to share precious time with her son and to say goodbye to him. We would never take that away from her. Never once were we angry with her or mad at her. We always knew that what was best for Danny would become reality and our hopes and prayers were answered.

Now that we are home and enjoying daily life with our two wonderful babies – we realize how blessed we are to have formed our family so quickly!  We are the luckiest family alive! To have two babies in under one year is truly amazing and I’m sure one for the record books. Cara and Danny already have so much in common!  They both have similar ethnic heritage. They are exactly nine months (to the day) apart and will most likely be in the same grade!  They are going to be forever best friends and be there for each other through everything.  

We also realized something else that we hope you as a prospective adoptive family takes away from this – both of our children were meant to be with us.  Although we had two very short matches – we would have waited years for both Cara and Danny because they belong with us and we were meant to meet their birth parents!  I know it sounds cliché and everyone hears this along the way of their adoption journey from one person or another, but it is absolutely true that each child finds their way into an adoptive home that is meant to be, no matter how long the wait. 

Thank you American Adoptions for helping these birth families find our family!  We are forever grateful to your support and guidance throughout this whole process and for helping us complete the family that we have always dreamed of. Thank you also for all of the wonderful support and guidance you provide birth families in their most needed times. What you do for these birth families makes a huge difference and impact on many lives forever!  A special thanks to Jennifer Van Gundy, Kelli Cox and Laurie Walker! All of you provided so much support throughout both of our adoptions – we can’t thank you enough!!!!

Kevin, Colleen, Cara & Danny