Mike, Lissa and Austin's Adoption Story

Thanks to American Adoptions and a wonderful birth mother, we adopted Austin in less than seven months after being activated and that included one disrupted adoption. Our adoption journey began in December 2007. We started paperwork before Christmas and were activated on February 26, 2008.

On April 14, 2008 (less than two months after being activated) I was at work when I received a call and immediately knew what the call was when I saw the number on the caller ID. Emily, from American Adoptions, told me that Mike and I had been picked by birth parents out of California who was due in early June with a baby girl. We realized that we had less than two months before the baby would arrive. We started conference calls and e-mails with the birth mother. I was amazed at how quickly we became attached to the birth mother. She was to have a c-section on June 5, 2008 and asked if we could come out a couple of days earlier to meet her and her boyfriend. We were a little concerned about the boyfriend because he never participated in any of the calls or e-mails. The next few weeks went by quickly. We spoke with the birth mother several times a week and we were preparing for our baby girl. We told family and friends because we were overjoyed about it.

Our flight to California was scheduled for Tuesday June 3, 2008. Early on Monday June 2, 2008, the birth father called us to say that the birth mother was in labor. We changed our flights and were able to get a mid-day flight to California, but we had a layover in Denver. When we got off the plane in Denver the agency called to say that the little girl was already born. 

When we got off the plane in California we had a message to call Emily. Emily told us that the birth mother had a bad day and did not want us at the hospital yet. The birth mother did call us in the hotel that night and said she was sorry that she was not feeling well but wanted us to come by the hospital in the morning but to call first. The next morning, after a sleepless night, we called her cell number as well as her room with no answer. We drove down by the hospital and sent her some flowers. When we were still in the lot of the flower shop, we finally got through to the room. The birth father told Mike that he was sorry but he just could not go through with the adoption. We were devastated to say the least. American Adoptions really showed us what they are about, even though they do not have an office in California, Angie and Emily were both on the phone with us. Angie called several times to check on us. We stayed that night in California and scheduled our flight home for the next morning. I happened to check my e-mail later that afternoon and had a long e-mail from the birth mother saying how sorry she was and that she would still like to meet us and introduce us to the little girl. We were very hurt but understood. I did decline the invite to the hospital because I thought that would make it even harder on us. We called our family and friends to give them the bad news.  

 On August 19, 2008, a little over two months of being back on the list, I received a phone call when I was at work. Once again I knew by the caller ID what the call was. This time Sarah said I have a possible match for you and Mike. I knew that meant something was outside of our APQ. Sarah explained the situation and said the birth parents had picked us. Sarah also said that she would give us a little time to think it over. Of course the big thing was that the baby was due in two weeks. The issue that was outside of our APQ was minor and we decided to take the match. The birth mother lived in Ohio and was hoping to meet us beforehand. She was due the day after Labor Day. We spoke with both birth parents on the conference call the next week. Before the call we knew that if the birth mother liked us then she wanted to meet us, of course that was no pressure at all. The call went well and we decided to drive to Ohio on Labor Day weekend to meet them. It was only a five and half drive for us. We did not tell our families about the match and told very few co-workers.

The Saturday before Labor Day we drove to meet the birth parents, Sarah and Mike. However, Sarah, her son, her mother and stepfather showed up. We were a little nervous because the birth father did not show up. Lunch went great and we really liked Sarah and her whole family. It is so hard to describe the respect that you have for someone who no matter how hard it is for them they want to do what’s best for the child. We had packed enough just in case she was to go into labor while we were there. It was hard to drive back home knowing how close Sarah was to the due date. The doctor said he would let Sarah go a couple weeks beyond the due date because of late prenatal care.

Less than a week late,r on Friday September 5, 2008, Mike received a call from Sarah who said she was having labor pains. Sarah said that the doctor sent her home and told her that she was having contractions but wait until they got closer. I called the agency and told them that we were going to go ahead and travel to Ohio. They said that was fine but be prepared that it might be several days before she has the baby. We arrived in Ohio that night and called Sarah’s mother who told us that they were at the hospital but the doctor was probably going to release Sarah. She assured us that she would call and keep us updated. She called us back after midnight and said they had admitted Sarah but the baby would not arrive until the next day sometime. She told us we could come and visit that night or in the morning. We debated on when to go. We thought maybe they did not want us there until morning. We could not sleep so around 2 a.m. we went to the hospital. Sarah and her mother were both asleep. We told the nurse to tell them that we had been there. A few hours later Sarah’s mother called to say that they were up. We went on to the hospital. We sat in the room with Sarah and her mother. We took Sarah some flowers and asked if she needed anything. The doctor said the baby would be there before the afternoon hours. After lunch the baby’s heart rate started dropping. A little before 2 p.m. the doctor advised Sarah that the best thing for the baby at this point was a c-section. Sarah agreed to the emergency c-section.

On September 6, 2008, at 2:34 p.m. Austin Dwayne was born and weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. Sarah had told me I could be in the delivery room with her mom. However, with the c-section only one person could be in the room and I understood that she would want her mom. Sarah had asked what name we wanted for the baby and she gave him the full name including our last name. Therefore, Austin will never have a name change. The birth grandmother came into the nursery with Austin and held Austin up for us. He was the most precious thing I have ever laid eyes on. The birth grandmother asked me if it was OK if Sarah had a little time with Austin first. Of course that was fine and how nice of her to ask us. A few minutes later the birth grandmother came and got Mike and I. When we walked in Sarah was holding Austin and she asked me if I wanted to hold him. I said yes and when she handed him to me she said “Austin here’s your mommy.” No one could have ever said anything any nicer to me. We also met the birth father that day briefly.

The hospital gave us our own room and we had Austin with us from day one. The hospital staff was great and treated us so good. Sarah told us numerous times that she knew she was doing what was best for Austin. Sarah and her mom are both amazing women. We were grateful to get to know them along with Sarah’s son and stepfather. Over the next couple of days Sarah and her family would come into our room and spend time with Austin and us. Sarah was released on Monday but Austin stayed in the hospital until Tuesday when the 72 hours were up. Of course, we were very worried about the birth father because we had only met him briefly and we could not help but remember that the birth father in California was the one who changed his mind. It seemed like Tuesday would never get there and we still had not told our families. We had decided after the first failed match that we would not tell them until we had left the hospital with Austin. Of course this was easier to keep the secret because we only knew about the match for such a short time. On Tuesday we awaited the arrival of the birth parents and the first person there was Shannon, a social worker who informed us that the birth parents were running a little late. Of course the time seemed to stop at that point. Both birth parents showed up and they came into the room with us. We had to wait for an additional social worker so we did get to spend some time with the birth father as well as Sarah, which was nice. After the paperwork was signed we got to spend some more time with Sarah and give her some gifts that bought for her, the birth father and her son. Sarah told us that she knew she was doing the best thing for Austin and that if it had been anyone other than Mike and I she probably would not have went through with the adoption. Sarah walked to the car with Austin, Mike and I. It was hard to say bye and there are no words that can express your appreciation to the birth parents for giving you such an amazing gift. At that point it was still hard for us to believe that everything went as it was supposed to.

After leaving the hospital we went to our hotel which would be our home for almost three weeks. We called our families and friends who were very surprised and very happy for us. We had visitors most of the time that we were in Ohio. The birth grandmother and the birth mother had us over to their house for dinner while we were still in Ohio.

Austin is now almost 5 months old and is the perfect baby for us. I promised myself that I would write this letter because I remember being on the waiting list and it was nice to read the adoption stories. If you are a waiting family, have faith that the right baby will come along for you. It was hard for us to see that when we went through the failed match but I cannot imagine having any baby other than Austin. Austin made the holidays so much sweeter and he giggled for the first time on Christmas Eve. No matter how long you have to wait the baby will be well worth it.

The birth parents will forever have a place in our hearts. We still communicate with Sarah and her family via email. Our adoption was an open adoption and we do not regret that at all.