Michael, Karen & Kelsey's Adoption Story

To future adoptive parents:

We want to introduce ourselves. Our names are Michael and Karen, and we are adoptive parents. In March 2002, we received our call from American Adoptions, informing us that a prospective mother had chosen us and that the baby was due in three weeks. We were overwhelmed with joy. As we talked with our adoption specialist, we learned about phone conferences with the birthparents and the picture contract. Of course, we were nervous about everything.

The picture contract was a little scary because we feared the birth parents' reactions to seeing their baby grow up. However, having the phone conferences, meeting the birthparents in person, and sharing e-mails has calmed our fears and has made the adoption process a happy one.

The first contact we had with the birth parents was through conference calls. We were able to learn about their history, their personalities, their feelings and their lives in general. It was very helpful when we met them at the hospital; we spent two days with them. This gave us an opportunity to learn things about them that we can later share with our daughter. They were very gracious and so happy that we were going to be their baby's parents. We saw how much they loved their baby, and that they were interested in giving her the best life possible. The kept telling us what wonderful parents we are going to be. It was extremely positive, which carried over to keeping in contact once we went home with our daughter.

We knew we had to oblige by the picture contract, so we had everything mailed out when she turned a month old. We kept in contact with our adoption specialist as we wanted to know how the birthparents were doing. She began forwarding us e-mails from the birthparents; this started an on-going communication with the birthparents through a special e-mail account that we set up. We send them updates and pictures on a regular basis, and we mail out letters and pictures, per our picture contract. We never would have imagined keeping in touch with them when our adoption process started. Before, we felt that once we adopted, the birthparents would be on a need-to-know basis because we didn't know how they would react. Of course, we never wanted them to interfere in her life, either. But now we feel differently. The e-mails that we share are very positive. They constantly tell us that our daughter has the best parents in the world and that she is lucky to have us. They also continue to thank us for what we have done and thank us for keeping them posted on her life. We save all the emails because we think it will help our daughter to read in their words the fact that they want her with us and that they love her. It will serve as a good tool to discuss her adoption with our daughter. The birthparents have sent her a birthday present and gifts for us as well. We send them Christmas presents and cards. We still have our privacy because they do not know our last name or our address.

 

The open communication we share with the birthparents has been a positive experience. We know they want what is best for our daughter, and we feel certain that they will not interfere in her life. You can choose what is best for you, but do not be afraid to send letters and pictures to the birthparents. They will appreciate knowing their child is well-taken care of and is happy. You will appreciate knowing they want their child with you. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Michael & Karen