Steven & Andrea's Adoption Story

Our journey began on November 19, 2002. After years of trying to conceive, a miscarriage, and fertility treatments, we decided that adoption was the best family plan for us. After researching several agencies, we chose American Adoptions. So, on November 19, we filled out the initial paperwork to begin what we thought would be at least a year-long process.

A few days later, we received the HUGE packet of papers. This was probably the most overwhelming part of the whole experience. If that stack of papers were related to any other subject matter, we probably would have cried. But we actually look forward to diving in to it. We read, reread, and reread. It seemed as if we signed our names close to a thousand times.

The following weekend was Thanksgiving. Our plan was to take a lot of family pictures for our profile. However, on Wednesday, November 27, Andrea's father has a heart attack. With this news, and Andrea's mother recently having been diagnosed with breast cancer, the importance of family became very clear to us.

The most difficult task of preparing to become an active family was writing the letter to the birthparents. We kept putting this off, until it was the last thing to do. It is hard to describe why this was difficult. You never think that you will have to explain what kind of family you want and what parenting values you have to someone you don't even know, but that person could change your life forever. We finally just stated the facts. We wrote about the real emotions we were having and tried to convey how much respect we had for the birthparents. We decided to think of it as writing a letter to God. After finishing the paperwork, we decided that this whole process should be a requirement for everyone who wants to have a family, not just adoptive families! We sent all of our paperwork in during the first week of December.

Our home study took place on December 9, 2002. The words "home study" sound so negative. It lasted about 2 hours, and was very relaxing. It wasn't an interrogation or even an interview. It was just a casual conversation. After the social worker left, we knew it was time to wait. By mid-December, we had received the activation agreement. We read, reread, reread again, signed, notarized, copied and mailed it back all in the same day.

On January 8, 2003, we received notice that our profile would be complete in about 10 days. We knew that our baby would be home wit us soon, so we started going through bags of hand-me-down clothes and became addicted to EBAY! On January 21, we received the notarized copy of our home study report. We immediately turned it to the last page and read the last sentence: "It is therefore, without hesitation receommended that Steven and Andrea be approved as adoptive parents." Smiles all around! On January 28, our profile was posted on the American Adoptions website. We knew the day was getting closer.

We didn't realize how close that day was. On January 20, just two days after our profile was posted, American Adoptions contacted us to say that we had been matched with a baby. We were given some basic details and told to think about whether or not this would be a baby we would be interested in. Steve and I had already decided that we would take the first baby we were matched with. We felt that God had his hand in this whole process, and He would lead our baby to us.

The next day, a social worker called with all of the details. He was 6 weeks old and very good-natured. We immediately asked when we could pick him up. Unfortunately, it was Friday, and we would have to wait until Monday to figure everything out. The social worker overnighted us some pictures and the hospital records. This was one time that we hated the weekend, but it actually went very fast. We finished setting up the nursery and went on a shopping spree. We were afraid we wouldn't have everything we needed by the time our son came home.

The following Monday, February 3, we found out we would be parents by the next weekend. That week was hectic. It was full of phone calls, ironing out travel plans and getting placement paperwork in order. It was full of every emotion. We were excited to become parents, but scared to death at the same time. After all, we had 7 days notice!

February 7, 2003 aka GOTCHA DAY! Jacob Allen arrived home at 10:00 a.m. We were so nervous that morning. When we finally held him, a calming sense came over us and we felt true peace. All of the fears seemed to vanish. We instantly felt a bond and a love that's indescribable. We quickly settled into a routine and almost instantly forgot what life was like without our son. On June 24, 2003, Jacob's adoption was finalized.

We have had an incredible journey. Our family (very healthy now!) and friends have been so supportive. They adore Jacob. He is one very loved little boy. Our journey from start to finalization was only 7 months long. We now have an amazing family already full of lasting memories!

Andrea & Steven