Glenda, David and Julie Anna's Adoption Story

I had signed up with American Adoptions some months before, but never expected to be able to adopt the infant that we had prayed for, for so long. We had just gotten our home study updated, and received our copy in the mail. I got an email from Megan Riley with an urgent situation of a birth Mother who had delivered her baby prematurely. A family was needed right away before the hospital released her.

Wow! We were told that it was a baby girl, she was of African American heritage, and the child had Down syndrome. We are very fond of children with DS, and had prayed for a little girl; to get a child with all of that and AA too… Well, that was a huge blessing for us, as our other adopted children are African American, also. We were also told the baby also had Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, and the baby had developed a large cyst on her brain, in utero. The cyst was healed when she was born, but the lesion still remains as proof of God's healing.

We were not sure we could afford the adoption fees as we had just paid for some farm repairs. Thinking back, I actually did not think we would be selected by the birth Mom, anyway. I told my husband “If this is God's will, we will have the money. If we are selected, we could try to borrow on another property the next day.”

The next day, we would be talking with the birth mother and she would make her decision shortly after. I was so nervous; I was not sure what to say to her. Our other adopted children all came from foster care and they had already had their parents rights terminated so we never had any contact with them. I wondered if she would like us, or think we were too old, or had too many children…

When we finally got to talk to the birth mom, she was so sweet and young, and put me at ease right away. I actually felt very maternal towards her… She was young and had a toddler already. The hospital had recommended an abortion, which she did not want, but she already knew this child was more medically fragile than she could handle as a single parent. We developed a bond with each other in the short hour we talked on the phone.

Our surprise came when we were called back by Ms. Riley and told we had been selected to adopt the baby! We also were called an hour later and told we could borrow the money for the adoption fees. Ms Riley had the paper work done swiftly and made the adoption easy for us.

It had been 16 years since I had held and cared for a new born but I hastily packed up my bag, kissed my children and husband good bye, then I hopped into the car for the 1,500 mile trip to meet our new baby daughter. The entire trip, my car glided along the freeway as if it had wings. I kept thinking about what the little baby girl would look like. I wrote down tons of names to decide on, and pondered each one as I wrote it down. Usually you have some time to pick out names and such and to think about the child you hope to adopt, but I was pressed for time and drove until midnight. I was too excited to eat any breakfast when I awoke at 5:30 AM and was quickly on my way to the city where the hospital was.

It was a hot afternoon when I arrived at the hospital. I remember the refreshing breeze as the cool air conditioning swept over me when I first entered the hospital. I found my way up to the nursery, unsure if they would allow me to see my new baby girl or if paper work needed to be signed first. I buzzed the nursery door bell for the nurse to come and when nurse, Linda, came to meet me, I told her who I was and that I as going to adopt baby girl. She was very kind and happy to see me, as the nursery was full; they were short staffed and felt they could not give her the attention she needed.

I watched closely as the nurse went over and picked up my baby girl, she said “Here, let's go in the nursing room and you can hold her there,” and she carefully placed baby girl in my arms. I remember how tiny she was, barely 5 pounds, and her delicate little fingers on her itty-bitty hands. She had the sweetest little smile and I saw her beautiful dark eyes as she opened them for just a split second to take her first look at me too. My eyes took her in slowly, she was very pale, and hardly looked African American but I had remembered being told by my friend that AA babies are usually very light when they’re first born. She was unbelievable; so much like a perfect little porcelain doll. Other than perfection, she did not look like she had anything different about her. I ran a finger gently over her little cheeks and head, and arms, baby girl just snuggled in.

The hospital staff had me admitted into the hospital as the baby was a failure to thrive infant. They had been having difficulty getting her to suck and drink her formula and it would take her more than an hour to take in an ounce of formula. So my new little bundle and I moved into suite 3A.

It was a nicely furnished little room, complete with rocking chair, a sofa for guests and a Jacuzzi; certainly different than the room I had when I had my two children some years before. I was so excited but also tired as I did not get much sleep the night before, so baby girl and I snuggled into our bed together for a nap.

Baby girl slept in the crook of my arm all night long, except when it was feeding time. She was hard to feed and I could tell she had needed a Mommy as she had started to shut down and did not want to suck or eat at all. But I am a very determined Mother; I softly caressed her little cheeks to convince her to take little sucks of formula. I carefully lifted her to my shoulder and gave her a gentle thump-thump-thump like a heart beat on her tiny back to help her burp a little. I relished the smell of a new born baby and she was starting to get my sent on her. I remember when my first child Jeffrey was born: He had his own smell at first but within hours he smelled like me. Babies need that smell to help bond with the mother; this is how they can tell who they belong too.

Baby girl rarely ever cried, even when her diaper was wet. I fed her even before she was ready so she never cried for her formula. I was back into the routine of caring for an infant within 24 hours and soon I had baby girl eating almost a whole ounce of formula in half an hour. The doctor was impressed as he felt she would take longer to learn to eat better. I was thankful she had no reflux issues and did not need a feeding tube. All I could do was look at her and caress her and rock her for the three days we were in the hospital. I was thankful for the quiet bonding time I had with her.

That same week I got to meet baby girl's birth mother and her little brother. I think we were both nervous at first but we were at ease after a few minutes. I gave her little boy a toy and I had gotten her a basket of bath goodies. I had brought my camera to take her picture but in my nervousness I forgot to do so.

When we were discharged we had to stay at the local motel for two more weeks until the ICPC was completed… It seemed to take forever! It was difficult to live in a motel with a newborn even without that fact that it was to hot outside to take her out in the car to get meals. I also missed the rocking chair from our hospital room.

She slept in a little bath tub and sponge I had bought when I was not holding her. It was big enough to hold two of her. Wherever we went, baby girl charmed all who saw her, like a beacon of light. Most of the time, she would hold her teeny hands together as if she were praying. I smiled at the thought of her still talking to God in heaven about her life.

When, I finally got her home to see the rest of the family, they all gathered anxiously around us to get the first peek at her. There were repeated shouts of "can I hold her?" from all of her new siblings.

Baby girl was eventually named Julie Anna; it seemed to fit her as she was our precious jewel. When she was two months old we found she had a heart murmur and she was referred from a children's hospital to a pediatric specialist. She was put on medication and we were told she had significant damage to her heart, something we were aware of, and feared might happen. In August, Julie Anna was 4 months old and she had some problems with RSV. Her pediatrician called the heart specialist who felt she should be admitted for surgery right away. My husband and I left instructions with our eldest child who would be watching the rest of our children for a few days until David was able to come back home and made the four hour trek to the children's hospital. When we got there they immediately admitted Julie for heart surgery. They would have to repair all four chambers of her heart and two valves.

The surgery went fine and I was in the hospital with Julie Ann for two weeks. I have to say it was very stressful for all of us. They were unable to repair one of her valves completely and suggested when she was 4 or 5 she would need more surgery.

Julie Anna sat up when she was nine months, crawled at ten months and walked at 13 months. At a year and a half we started teaching her sign language and she signs in two word sentences with a range of about 30 words. She has lots of verbal skills, and sometimes says words, but she knows for sure how to ask for something in sign. Now she climbs up the bunk bed ladders, plays with her toys, and Barbies with her sisters. Her comprehension is at age level and she does not know she is a baby, she thinks she is a big kid.