American Adoptions Message Board
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| willa | Posted: Feb 02, 2006 03:18:52 PM
i would def. tell ur child. im 15 and im adopted and i've always known im glad that my parents told be from day 1 and that the share stories with me and that i have a couple of pictures of my birth mom.
| | Lisa | Posted: Jan 25, 2006 11:27:04 PM
I grew up knowing that I was adopted like I knew my first name was Lisa...it was always talked about in a special light and all three of us (all adopted into the same family at different times in the 60's) were always told how much we were wanted and loved.
Be open and honest, and make the word 'adopted' a common every day word... in the long run, it will only work in your favour !!!
| | here to help | Posted: Oct 11, 2005 12:00:54 AM
I believe that it is best to tell your child A.S.A.P. It should be no secret that you adopted her. It is important that you let her know that of all the children that are born each year she was specially chosen. You picked her and love her no matter what. The sooner you tell her the easier it will be for you to explain it. There is nothing to be afraid about. You are a wonderful person who believed in giving a future to a young lady, that is a beautiful thing. Smile and be proud that God brought her into your life. I'll keep you in my prayers!!!
KT
| | Savanna | Posted: Aug 04, 2005 04:51:13 AM
I think you should deffinetlly tell her, im planning to adopt and whether it's a closed adoption or not she is going to grow up knowing that im not her real mother, understand that what you see on the movies in this situation is usually true, think about if you found out your mom wasn't your real mom at 17, wouldnt it be easier on you knowing it your whole life and asking questions when your ready instead of getting told when the parents think your ready? I really think you should tell her now, i'll be honest...im 14 and you may think I don't know a lot but I assure you all I said is true, her heart is going to be dramaticlly broken and her life might change. Getting it out now will be better in all cases.
| | Anonymous | Posted: Mar 09, 2005 11:54:53 AM
My situation is not as cut and dry as most adoptions. My mother is my biological mother, but when I was about a year old, she married a man who then adopted me. The situation seems tough to explain to a small child because my biological father already had a wife and children and wanted nothing to do with me. Despite this, I have never felt a need to meet him or the rest of his (my) family. Yes, I am curious, but I have all I need. I have a family. My mother told me about my situation before I can remember, so it has always been something I knew. It's never been something that I had to "handle" because I knew both of MY PARENTS loved me very much.
| | Kara J | Posted: Jan 23, 2005 11:28:18 AM
I am an adoptive mom of a 2 1/2 year old who is also in an open adoption. His first parents live in a different state, so we don't see them much, but we speak of them often. He doen't really understand at this point, but I always want him to know he IS very special because he has 2 families that love him very much. I never want him to "remember" me telling him that he was adopted, I want him to always KNOW it... something that he ALWAYS remembers. That may not be the road that everyone agrees with, but as mom always taught me... HONESTY is always best. If you don't tell your child because you don't feel the time is right, SOMEONE will end up letting it slip, then what? They will feel lied to and decieved. We have freiend sthat were going to wait to tell their child, but the time never felt right... at the age of 13 (the most vulerable time for a child anyway), she began a public school and one of new friend parent knew, and THEY told her. Please reconsider and tell your child NOW... and books (as the previous poster staed) are a GREAT way to do it... Good Luck and let me know if I can help you in any other way!
| | Christy | Posted: Jan 20, 2005 12:57:18 AM
Talking about adoption should be a normal and loving thing for your family. My daughter has heard about her adoption from the day she was born. We don't talk about her adoption all the time nor do we share her adoption story with everyone we meet. It is her adoption story - it belongs to her and therefor she has the right to share or not share. At 5 years of age she is beginning to understand what it means to be adopted. Now and then she tells people that she is adopted but she always says "My mommy is my mommy." I know that as she grows her understanding of adoption and her feelings surrounding adoption may change. But, speaking about adoption was the right thing for our family.
If you don't speak about it naturally now you will always be wondering "When do I tell?...How do I tell?....What if they find out?" I truly believe it is better to share the news of your child's adoption in a loving and caring manner and it will become easier and easier each time you discuss it.
Blessings to you and your little one.
:-) Christy
| | Louise | Posted: Dec 29, 2004 11:27:26 PM
My sister is getting ready to put her child up for adoption and being an adopted child myself and her also being adopted I was quite alarmed that you haven't told your child yet. It is a part of your identity when you are adopted and one of the main reasons my childhood was as amazing as it was. I was always told I was chosen and I knew from the moment I made memories that I was adopted and that there was no negative stigmas attached. Being an adopted child is a privilige and something to be proud of, so you should tell your child now, through children's books or drawings or paintings or poems, and why? because it is who they are and that is nothing to be ashamed or upset about if you say it without hesitancy and with love and admiration for your child.
| | Barbara | Posted: Dec 26, 2004 10:30:53 AM
After 17 years of wanting a child & 6 years of IVF our little angel from heaven came almost 3 years ago. I feel as though I gave birth to her myself. We met the biologicals and went threw 6 months of pregnancy we have no contact now. We were in the deliveryroom. Even though it was an open adoption, we're not sure if we should tell or if we do, when we should tell our child she is adopted. There are no health issues. Are there any studies as to what age is good or if you should?
What is best thing to do for my child?
Barb
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Mission Statement:
American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846).
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