American Adoptions Message Board
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| David & Patty (Adoptive family in waiting) | Posted: Mar 06, 2005 07:43:57 PM
You do not need to be ashamed that you are pregnant and making the decision to place your child with a loving family. That is a very mature and selfless decision to make. If you contact American Adoptions, or any other agency or adoption lawyer, they can send you profiles of families that meet your dream requirements (age,religion, personalities, etc.). Once you have selected a family, I think you omay start to feel a bit more at ease about your pregnancy. You will be fulfilling a couple's dream of having a child, while also giving your child the gift of life. The family you choose can offer you the emotional support you need to get through this. Good luck in your journey.
| | Janene | Posted: Feb 05, 2005 08:36:55 AM
I feel your mental pain. I too am a single mom, whose daughter has never seen her father. We split up when I was 4 months pregnant. He had a drug (crack-cocaine) problem that he refused treatment for, so we decided in the prescence of a counsellor in NYC to have no contact after 1/30/00. We have had none, no support, no interest. I think he understood that I felt I could do this on my own. I am also an RN, so know that I can support two, but not a father with drug issues and all that come with it. Now my daughter is almost 4, and we only recently moved out of my parents' home after living there since I was 8 months pregnant, 6 hours away from Brooklyn and where her father is, in the company of my family. I still don't know if that was the best thing to do. I love her dearly, yet being what I think is the best mom for her is what I felt I have been unable to do. Its a relationship. Most of my relationships have failed, in one way or another.
Enough. The bigger issue is that I now am pregnant again, after a short relationship with a neighbor. I've made yat another BAD desicion, despite being the person who helps others in a professional role. Its amazing how nurses can heal others yet continue to hurt themselves.
I am considering STRONGLY (85%) giving this child up for adoption, because another child does not derserve a parent who cannot explain where their father is, had been, and will be. She deserves a more stable mom, who would be more stable with the help of a father in her life.
So.... consider all your options. I'm in the process of seeking assistance through the crisis pregnancy center in my local town. Checking out the options, and trying to hide this from my parents the whole time.
| | Terrie | Posted: Jan 30, 2005 01:20:37 AM
Hello FeeBee this sounds like a difficult situation to find yourself in. How old is your daughter? Are you wanting to move somewhere else? Or just not sure what to do at this point? Do you want to parent this baby? If you do their has to be a way for that to happen. If your sure that parenting this baby is not what is best for all invovled their are many many people whom would Love your child and be happy to raise this child with all the Love and adoration you wish for your child to grow up having.
Only you can make these choices as you are the one that will have to live with your choice. Best wishes and God bless all of you. I am the mom to 4 thru adoption and a grandma to 2 soon to be 3. My daughter had her oldest child at age 18.
Best wishes
Terrie
| | FeeBee | Posted: Jan 27, 2005 06:31:07 PM
i found out I was pregnant in late August. I went into a weird denial phase. Which, I guess is understandable, there are the whole "stages of grief" and all. I am 23, a new nurse, new divorcee, with a 2 and half year old little girl. I wasn't ready to have anymore children. As a matter of fact, I had not planned to have anymore after having my daughter. My life is so hectic as it is being a single mother and having a career.
Well, now I am pregnant, and I wish I could keep this baby. But, I know in my heart it is not fair to him/her. My daughter's father (my ex-husband) is very involved in her life. He is just like any other father in a nuclear family, except we don't live together and there is no romantic relationshiop. Otherwise, he is there foreverything, almost daily. It wouldn't be fair for this baby not to have that as well. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would be to see my other daughter leave with her dad to go on weekend get aways together and seperate (additional) birthdays and holidays with him and his family. This child would only have me and my family. Which, true, that is enough in ways. My family and I could provide just as much love and attention, but, i imagine there would be some due jealousy because he/she wasn't getting what my daughter was.
The only people who know of my pregnancy are my mom, my roommate, and 2 other friends and I want to keep it that way. Like i said, i went through the whole 'denial' phase and have finally come out of that cloud and am trying to find my direction to finding out how to place my child.
I know I will have to quit work soon because I am beginning to show and i want to keep this a secret. But, how do I afford to quit work? I want to stay at home also because I can't leave my daughter...I am just confused on how to do this.
Can someone please explain to me?
thanks
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American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846).
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