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BOARD: Adoptee Forum » Other Topics for Adoptees.

TOPIC: Need Help

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Posted By Message
Phyllis MosesPosted: Jun 16, 2005 04:34:22 PM
Adoption is a catch 22 issue for you and your mom. Be sure you know this is your mom any way you can. Then approach her as someone who might know her. Or get a close friend to approach her first. Going to her direct can be very hurtful to you and her at the same time. Maybe a minister or someone who knows you well could talk to her first. Identify that you dont want anything but info from her. Then wait for her response, give phone info etc in a short note. No personal info otherwise. Let her decide. Do not approach her like you know her and are an old friend. She may be fine (wanting to find you.) She may be very cold and aloof (not wanting you to find her). Remember there are steps to all of this. If you want to prepare yourself for this first you need to talk to a counselor or someone who has been through this that can brace you for all reactions and the phases of "honeymoon" stage etc... that come after. I am adopted and was a member of a group with adoptees and birth parents in it. I've heard good and bad things. Brace yourself for bad and pray or hope for the best depending on your take on faith etc...

MeriamPosted: May 30, 2005 09:45:40 PM
I am a 20 year old female from South America, and i have been searching for my birthmom, and I think I may have found her, but I am not sure, I was thinking about writing a letter, and seeing if it is her. Is that a good idea, or how should I approach her. I am real freaked out if this is her, because ill finally have 20 years of unanswered questiones. That is if she even wants to have contact with her. How should I prepare myself for this?



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