American Adoptions Message Board
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| Jamie | Posted: Apr 23, 2006 11:35:56 PM
I struggled with this same topic 2 years ago. It sounds like my situation was different though. My husband and I decided to become foster to adopt parents through our County Children Services. It took 5 months to take all the classes, get our home study, etc. During the 5 months my mom throw us a baby shower. It was kind of weird, especially since not a lot of people really understood the concept of foster parenting. I am really glad we had one though. When we finally got a placement (8 months later) we were set and had no time to have a shower. The only hard thing about a shower before the placement or referal is you can't really buy clothes. But if you know the age you are probably going to get that's not a problem.
Our foster son was 3 months old when we got him. He is now 13 months old and will be finally adopted on May 5. Good luck to all of you and I hope all your dreams come true, ours did!
| | Angie | Posted: Oct 08, 2005 02:00:08 PM
I now completely agree w/ waiting until after the baby is born to have a shower. Had you asked me a few weeks ago, however, I would not have agreed. We were matched in August (by another agency, not AA) w/ a Bmom who was having a girl this month an I 'went a little crazy' buying girl stuff. Unfortunately, Bmom changed her mind and now I have lots of reminders of what I've lost. PLEASE WAIT!!!
Best Wishes, Angie
| | Stefanie | Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:24:23 PM
I love the idea about waiting until you have the baby to have the shower, and everyone thinks it's neat that the baby will be at the showers. My aunts on my mom's side want to give me just a family shower before we get the baby. I told them I want to at least get activated first, and then it can be more of an "activation" shower than a baby shower, with just universal items I would need for a boy or girl and essentials I will want to have as soon as we get the baby. I'm thinking this will be OK -- don't you think? Work and church showers can waint until after.
| | Diane | Posted: Jul 29, 2005 08:47:10 PM
Hi! What an exciting journey you are about to embark! American Adoptions made our dreams come true nine months ago with a beautiful little girl, but the road had some bumps. After we were activated and matched with a BM, friends wanted to throw a shower. Thankfully, I was cautious and asked them to wait. We were matched with the BM for five months, and three weeks before her due date she changed her mind. We were devastated, but so thankful that we didn't go "boy crazy" since one week later we were matched with a new BM, and she had a girl. Like the previous response, I would wait on the babyshower until your precious one in home with you. I wish you all the best on your journey to parenthood. I'd be happy to share any of my experiences with AA since I know this waiting time is full of questions and uncertainty. Be thankful you have chosen such a wonderful agency! Take care and God bless! Diane :)
| | Mauri | Posted: Jul 25, 2005 09:23:54 PM
Hi Stefanie, I just saw your message-glad it is a newer one-so many of these topics never have any activity after they are started, but I think this is a great topic. I also have had several friends say they want to throw us a shower as soon as we are matched. I know it is going to be an exciting time, but I just tell them that I prefer to wait until it is all official and we can bring that baby home. I am not Jewish but I guess this is how the jewish have baby showers-it is after the baby is born so that everyone can meet the baby at the shower. I think that is the way it should be anyway. Then you also know the sex too.
I got a lot of good advice from American Adoptions when I asked how 'ready' can we get before we are matched and then from match to birth. They err on the cautious side, saying not to get totally ready and tell a million people, because there is still a chance the birth mother/parents could change their mind. Then you may have a nursery ready completely but no baby, and a million people to explain it to, which I think would throw me into depression (but that's just me). I don't mean to sound negative, but I am just going to wait and only have basics ready to go. I have been told that in the first 8 weeks the baby doesn't need anything, and won't know if they have a fully decorated nursery or not.
Ok, that is just my opinion, based on the advice I got from AA. Good luck to you as you work to get active. AA is awesome and very thorough and helpful. We just completed our activation agreement and should be active any day. The roller coaster begins. Good luck to you. Mauri
| | stefanie | Posted: Jul 23, 2005 09:43:57 PM
I know this is probably the very least of my concerns, but I am just wondering... we are currently doing the paper work for our home study, but I have already had people ask me this, and I am wondering how others handled it. My husband and I will be first time parents, so we do not have ANY basic baby things -- nothing. Should we wait until after we have the baby to have baby showers,or is there generally enough time between the "match" and the birth to have the showers? I am just wondering what everyone else does.
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