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BOARD: Topics of Interest for Adoptive Families » Other Topics for Adoptive Parents
TOPIC: waiting couple chat
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 29, 2006 08:38:35 AM Dennise, Welcome!! Can not wait to see your profile. It should be up any day now, right? It is so good to have the support and encouragment from others who are waiting with us!! It has helped me so much with the waiting. Hopefully things will move quickly for you and you will have your miracle in your arms before you know it!! | ||
| Dennise | Posted: Jun 25, 2006 10:18:04 PM Hello everyone! We just became activated on June 16th and awaiting to see our profile posted. I read through each of these postings and found much encouragement. Glad to see that what I am feeling today is/has been shared by each of you. I got goose bumps reading Mary's story...wow...very encouraging! Ken and I have been keeping busy with getting a baby's room together and getting an emergency baby bag ready ...just in case. After 3 miscarriages it is doing my heart good to know that it is not a matter of "if" but of "when". I am feeling hope once again, and just last week was finally able to look at the bag of baby clothes my mom had purchased from our last pregnancy. Ah, hope...it is such a warm & glorious feeling. Although, every time I see a child I just melt and feel joy for the parents. I just can't imagine when that day happens and the place a child in my husband's arms and then mine how much of a sap I am going to be. Tomorrow morning we have our inital call with Angie Newkirk regarding our questionaire (the ?'s about birth mom & how prepared you are, etc.) and we are also getting eager to see our profile viewable on AA. As I understand it, we've been activated for almost 9 days (5 business) and our profile is being manually pushed out to birth parents. Jenn, you sound as anxious as I do...so I can totally relate. I am going to try very hard to breathe and allow myself to get anxieting once we get "the call" as I know that will definitely be the time I start to stress about everything...until then I gotta just chill and ride this wait stuff as best I can. | ||
| Heather | Posted: Jun 22, 2006 06:56:49 PM Hi Jenn, I am Heather and we have been activated with AA for almost 8 months. The waiting is hard, so we try to stay busy and do exactly what you said. We plan events so that we have fun things to look forward too. I was reading your posts, and noticed that you thought about the "failed match". We had one and although it was very hard at the time, we know that the perfect baby is out there for us. Also, AA was amazing through the entire process! That match took place at about 5 months activated and we were just reactivated a little over a month ago. So hopefully something will come for us all soon. But don't be nervous about having a failed match. If it is meant to be it will happen and AA and all of us in these chat rooms are a fantastic support for all of the ups and downs. We look on the poitive side, having been picked once gives us faith that we will be picked again. We too thought will thi s ever happen?? It will! | ||
| Jenn | Posted: Jun 19, 2006 11:32:12 PM Mary, congratulations!! Jen, we've found that having something else to look forward helps IMMENSELY with the wait. We booked a trip to the Riviera Maya in May (only a month after being activated). We had a fantastic time. So, we've decided to book another vacation for the end of November. If our adoption happens before then, great! We'll just cancel the trip. If not, we've still go something great to look forward to.:) | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 15, 2006 10:17:30 AM Jen, It is my understanding that not only do about forty couples listed have "Congratulations, recent adoption" on them, but that thirty or so are currently in matches. So that does make it seem like a lot less people actually waiting to be chosen. | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 14, 2006 05:21:59 PM Mary, I just noticed your good news!!!! You must be over the moon. CONGRATULATIONS! Cannot wait to hear how everyone is doing. | ||
| Whitney | Posted: Jun 14, 2006 05:05:19 PM Jen, there may be 181 families, but about 40 of those recently adopted, so the number waiting is actually lower. I agree with Wendy - talk with your adoption specialtist if you have concerns. It has not been that long yet, so I would try to relax and enjoy yourselves because as wonderful as a baby is, they change your entire world! | ||
| mary | Posted: Jun 14, 2006 02:50:27 PM Okay ladies, I have been waiting to post our great news until I felt a little safer. AA has now announced our congratulations, so I guess they feel we our now officially adoptive parents. We were picked by a bmom of a preemie, and we've just been waiting for him to grow and reach all sorts of milestones before we could travel to be with him (way too expensive to wait in hotel, etc. for a month). We will be leaving this weekend to meet everyone who has been caring for him, get to know his routine for a few days, and hopefully bring home our healthy baby boy! Please say a prayer for us. In answer to the question about wait time, we had to wait just over 2 months. Of course, we weren't in the traditional program, so our expected wait was not as long either. We really took our time in the home study process and becoming activated, so it seemed like forever anyway. My best advice is just to be open to whatever God has planned for you and keep yourself busy in the meantime. | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 14, 2006 11:40:10 AM Jen, I know what you mean about all the families, but I have seen it fluctuate a lot over the past year. I am assuming that American Adoptions would not take on more families than the amount of birthmom's they currently have? If you are concerned I would talk with your adoption specialists about the ratios. I do really feel that it will eventually happen for all of us. | ||
| Jen | Posted: Jun 13, 2006 08:26:38 PM Thanks for the confidence Whitney but wow. I mean everytime I go on this website and check out the families it keeps growing which then makes me think again, will it really ever happen. When we got activated only 2 months ago there was only 153 families now it's up to 183 which is the highest I've seen since we started this process. | ||
| Whitney | Posted: Jun 09, 2006 03:48:26 PM Jen, I know youhave many fears about the wait and adoption falling through, but God has a baby in plan for you and it will happen! That is how we got through the wait with our first adoption. AA is great about letting you know how much you have been shown and if there is anything on your profile that you might want to think about changing to help your chances. One day you will get that call and you will think you need more time and realize it was worth it when you hold that baby for the first time. | ||
| Jen | Posted: Jun 09, 2006 02:14:20 PM I am doing ok with the waiting..gosh we just got activated in April so it's only been 2 months. Thank goodness its Summer so I have plenty of things to do to keep me busy. I hope it happens soon for you Wendy. Any other insight from anyone would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 09, 2006 01:24:51 PM Jenn, These two situations were not "failed matches". They never got to that point. We just found out after the fact that if these birthmom's had decided to make an adoption plan we would have been the couple that would have been "matched" with them. That is one of the great things about AA. I feel protected in the not knowing. The other thing also is that sometimes it feels like absolutely nothing is happening, but a birthmom might have your profile in mind for several months before making a decision. So be ready for anything! : ) Have a great weekend! | ||
| Jenn | Posted: Jun 09, 2006 09:44:37 AM Wendy, how long after being chosen did you find out that the birth mother wasn't going through with the adoption? How difficult was that? When did those matches occur (how long into your wait)? That's always one of the major concerns with adopting -- the potential for getting your hopes up for nothing.:( | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 08, 2006 09:45:57 PM Jen, We were told that our average wait would be 9-18 mo. So we are still within that time frame. Of course, we always hoped that we would be one of the ones that would be on the shorter side of that average. We have had two situations that the birthmom chose us as her first choice for a family, but then did not follow through with an adoption plan. We definitely feel that there is one child out there meant for us and we will wait until we find each other. We never think of giving up. We cannot. We want a child and that doesn't allow for any "giving up". Some days it is hard to wait though. How are you doing with the waiting so far? | ||
| Jen | Posted: Jun 08, 2006 10:37:06 AM Thanks Wendy & Kerri. Wendy, have you had any potentials at all? And has the agency said anything as to how much longer you could be waiting? I'm just worried that we could be waiting forever or we'll just give up by then. | ||
| Kerri | Posted: Jun 07, 2006 11:04:04 AM Hey Girls, I was just reading over your chat room! So many exciting things happening! Jen, we waited 6 months for our daughter Madison and we are currntly active with AA again for our second one. We just became activated last week.... hopefully we will be up on the web this week!! Hope that you are all having a happy day!! Smiles, Kerri | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 06, 2006 07:29:14 PM Jen, We have waited fourteen months so far. | ||
| Jen | Posted: Jun 06, 2006 10:30:15 AM Hi everyone! I was wondering what's the longest anyone has waited so far? | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 02, 2006 08:52:21 AM Mary, Cannot wait to hear more!! ; ) April, WOW!! That is so wonderful! I am always amazed how many adopted children look like their adoptive parents. I am so glad the wait and all the unknowns are behind you. Keep us updated! | ||
| April | Posted: Jun 01, 2006 09:36:20 PM Hey everyone! Wendy, we are doing great! We got a call at 1am on Sunday May 21st that Jonathan was being born. We packed up the car and drove 13 1/2 hours to Miami, FL.. He was born about 4 hours before we got there. Since it was the weekend and there was no social worker on duty we couldn't see him after rushing to get there! We had to wait until the next day to lay eyes on him! We took advantage of that night to get some sleep so we would be in our right minds when we got to hold him. He was in the ICU for 5 days because he had fluid in his stomach from being born by C-section (the doctor's said that happens sometimes) and he had to have a little IV tub down into his stomach to take out that fulid and he had an IV. He was able to eat after 3 days and he is a 100% HEALTHY baby boy! He weighed 8lbs 6.2 ounces and 20 inches long! We went before the judge on Friday May 26th (The 5th day that we were in Florida) and he was awesome! He granted us permission to go back to Tennessee that day! He totally surpassed the ICPC that was in progress!!!! He granted us temporary custody and gaurdianship over Jonathan and ordered that the hospital was to release Jonathan directly to us and we didn't have to have our attorney or anyone with us and we got to take him home from the hospital as if we were his birthparents. God was working on our sides and with us all the way! He is now 11 days old and we are at home. I just gave him a bath. (Which he completly hates!!! HA!) He is laying on my chest all tuckered out from mean Mr. bathtub!!!! He is beautiful, I wish I could send you guys a picture! It is so funny because he looks just like my biological son!! How crazy is that! It is amazing! I can't wait until you guys get your bundles of joy!! It's so funny when I go places with him and people say "How old is he??, You look good for just having a baby!!" HA!!! and then the look on their faces of "Oh, ok!!" when I tell them that we just adopted this little angel. :) As I am sure you have all heard before, GET AS MUCH SLEEP NOW AS YOU CAN!!! When you get that call out of the blue that you have been waiting for, everything will happen so fast! You think you would be prepared because of the months of waiting but man....... I don't think you can prepare for those sleepless nights!!! :) Of course that are sooooooo well worth it! You guys just get ready for the ride of your lives because it is going to happen and you will be in a whirlwind and the wait will just melt away. You will think. It's funny how the "I have been waiting for so long, will it ever happen for us??" turns overnight into "Wow, I can't believe we have a baby already!!!" If anyone has any questions on their mind about what to expect or just anything, I would love to help you guys in any way that I can! Talk to you soon! April :) | ||
| mary | Posted: Jun 01, 2006 04:03:43 PM It is indeed a very busy time. I am going back to school, working on a 2nd masters- and there are some other exciting prospects on the horizon. Hopefully we'll have more to share soon. I hope everyone is staying happy and healthy as they wait it out! | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Jun 01, 2006 08:34:45 AM Jenn, So glad your vacation was great and that it helped to pass the time. April, how are things going? How is everyone else doing? Nothing new here, just staying busy and still waiting. Hope everyone is having a great start to the summer. | ||
| Jenn | Posted: May 23, 2006 03:39:30 PM Congratulations, April!!! What fantastic news! We just got back from a week in the Riviera Maya. I've gotta tell you that taking a fun and relaxing vacation is a great way to pass some waiting time! We've been activated since April 4th and I've hardly noticed the wait so far. We've been keeping so busy. I think that's key. We're going to plan another trip for sometime this year -- we'll see which comes first, our trip or our baby. Either way, we have lots to look forward to and be excited about.:) | ||
