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BOARD: Topics of Interest for Adoptive Families » Other Topics for Adoptive Parents
TOPIC: Wanting A Certain Sex
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Ilene | Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:03:47 PM My husband and I were blessed richly with a little boy of our own 4 1/2 yrs ago. One and a half yrs later we were pregnant again. We had a horrible miscarriage in which I thought I was going to die because I was bleeding so bad. We have had other miscarriages that weren't as bad, but never the less have not been able to have another baby. About 1 1/2 yrs ago we made the decision to look into adoption. It took me nine months before I was ready to send in the paperwork necessary to make ourselves active with American Adoptions. When asked what we were looking for in a baby I realized that it wasn't important what the race or sex of the baby was. I just wanted a baby to love and a brother or sister for our son. We were matched up with a birth mom shortly after becomming active with American Adoptions. In December we experienced a disrupted adoption. Now more than ever we are willing to take the baby God brings us. Marlene I hope that if you are unable to adopt a girl that you will look upon the baby you adopt as a blessing from God. Nancy, I hope that you and your husband will soon be blessed with a sucesssful adoption of a baby. Ilene | ||
| Marlene | Posted: May 29, 2004 08:14:54 PM Nancy, I am so sorry to hear about the bmom changing her mind. I can't even imagine the hurt you are feeling right now. I guess when we do start the process I will probably find out. I do know what it is like not having a child, I went thru 5+ yrs not knowing I could even have children b/c my ex lied to me about having a vasectomy. Yes I have been very blessed to have the 2 boys I do have. There is still an emptiness I feel tho' & a lot of it is personal reasons & I have been thru a lot with my pregnancies especially the 2nd one just to keep him alive. And then not be able to try anymore for a girl has hurt me tremendously. So yes I have been on both sides of the fence. I pray that you find a bmom soon for you to give all your love to that baby. Marlene | ||
| nancy | Posted: May 27, 2004 10:54:45 PM I guess I am hurting right now because the birthmother that promised us her baby just changed her mind. I understand your wanting a girl, but isn't it enough you are already blessed with your own beautiful boys? Try feeling the pain of not having any kids! | ||
| Marlene | Posted: May 26, 2004 10:33:11 PM Thank you for your feedback. I did read that & even had emailed them about our preferences. I lost everything on my computer, emails & all & so I don't have the email with their reply. I am checking out the site you requested. Thank you so much. Marlene | ||
| M.J. | Posted: May 25, 2004 09:41:58 AM Some agencies/facilitators allow you to "pick" the sex of the baby you adopt. (AA does for their Agency Assisted placements & www.heavensentadopt.com often lists the sex of the child). I found this message on the Q&A on the American Adoptions webpage: Q. Can we choose the gender of our baby? A. In the Traditional programs we do not allow our families to be gender specific. In the majority of Traditional adoptions, the adoptive family is matched with the birth parents prior to the birth and the gender is unknown. We would never want a family to reject a baby because is ends up being the “wrong” gender. This would be very offensive to the birth mother. In the Minority program we do allow our families to be gender specific. Minority matches typically occur after the birth of the baby and therefore we are sure about the gender of the child. | ||
| Anonymous | Posted: May 24, 2004 03:16:29 AM We already have two biological children (boys) & would like to have a girl. Where can I go to look into this besides international? Most agencies don't let you choose a sex. Aren't there newborns whose mothers decided to put them up for adoption after having them? International is so much more expensive but it looks as tho that is what we are going to have to go for. We are already a bi-racial family so that isn't a problem. DH is Hispanic & I am caucasian. Anyone have any ideas where I can look into domestic adoption & be able to choose the sex? Thanks! Marlene | ||
