American Adoptions Message Board
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| Natalie | Posted: Sep 19, 2004 10:31:10 AM
I think you absolutely right. I fyou feel that you would like to personalize the decision and meet the hopefull parents to help you make the decision go right ahead if they are willing. Do not think twice about it if they are not the family for you. Go with your heart. Good luck and best wishes!
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| Anonymous | Posted: Jun 15, 2004 11:11:23 AM
I am in the same position as you are. Trying to decide is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I do know that i decide on adoption, I will have to meet the couple...How else can you know that you truly are doing the best for your child. And if the couple refuses, then maybe they arent the right ones (if that is what you are wanting to do...) I hope God blesses you with strenght and courage to do what is best for both you and your precious little one.
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| Jan | Posted: Jun 08, 2004 12:15:51 AM
Dear Anonymous,
Choosing to place a baby with an adoptive family is such a difficult decision. You certainly want to make the best decision possible. We are a family desiring to adopt a child and feel that it vitally important for your sake, the baby's sake and the adopted family's sake that the decision be the best that it can be for everyone involved. We feel very strongly about open adoption. Through open adoption, you can have conversation and feel that your choice is the best decision. Being an adopted child, I know first hand when the adopted parents feel a sense of peace about the adoption, that feeling is conveyed to the child. If the child feels this peace they are raised with a feeling is security. And also for your sake, knowing that you have placed your child with a loving family will hopefully give you some peace of mind. If you are interested, we would like to share our letter with you. It contains several ways to contact us. In the meantime, you will be in our thoughts and prayers as you prepare to make this loving decision for your baby.
With lots of hugs, Jan and Phil
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| natasha | Posted: May 31, 2004 09:30:58 PM
Dear Anonymous, I think it is vital to a succussful placement of a child for the adoptive family to meet the birth family because if you do choose that couple you need to be able to at least have the comfort that your child is with people you approve of and that those people know something about you to tell that child someday. Me and my husband are foster parents and we are know looking to adopt and working with the birth parent and getting to know them is very important to both of us.
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| Anonymous | Posted: May 26, 2004 05:44:11 PM
Thank you so much to both the couples who posted answers to my question. It was nice to know that others understood where I was coming from about this. I appreciate the time you took. Especially Marlin and Illene. Good luck to you, you and your families are in my thought and prayers.
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| Ilene | Posted: May 25, 2004 10:36:44 PM
Dear Anonymous, being pregnant is not an easy position to be in. There are lots of choices to make that will affect you and your child for the rest of your lives. You are picking someone to take over the raising of your child. This is a very important decision to make and you need to have as much information as possible so you can feel comfortable about going through with the adoption. You want to make the best choice and having to do this without knowing or talking to the adoptive families can not be easy. I would think it would be easier for you if you could talk with the adoptive families. Words over the phone versus words on paper can make a world of difference. You should talk with your birth mother counselor and see if that would be a possibility for you. I know that if it were me, I would want the same thing. Some adoptive families might not want this and yet I know for my Husband and I, we would be open to this. Your counselor would need to find out if the particular family you are looking at would be open to this. They may or may not be willing to do this. Some families might consider this to hard to handle. My husband and I are waiting to be picked by a birth mother and like I said, we would be willing to talk with the birth mother who would be considering us. If you would like to talk with us please put a note on the post message board or ask American Adoptions for our e-mail address. We are an adoptive family with American Adoptions. We will be praying for you that you will make the decision that is best for you and your baby. Marlin & Ilene
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| Anthony and Kim | Posted: May 25, 2004 01:57:15 PM
I think you would get different answers from different couples. I know for us, we welcome contact with the birthmom both before and after placement. We feel that that would add to the adoption experience to really get to know eachother and it may add more comfort for both us and the birthparents. Have you asked the agency if you can talk with the couples that you like from their profiles? Maybe it's something that you can do, I am not sure though. Either way, good luck to you.
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| Anonymous | Posted: May 25, 2004 12:35:44 PM
I am currently pregnant and going through the process of finding a couple. The problem is that by simply going through the profiles it is hard to get a sense of who these couples truly are. Would any potential adoptive parents be willing to speak with a birth mom before she decides so that she can get a better sense of who they are? I know it can be a big let down if the mother decides a couple is not the one but it would also be a very big help to people like me. I am making the most important decision of my life.
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