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BOARD: Discussions for Women who are Pregnant » Couldn't Find Your Topic? Post a Message Here.
TOPIC: Better life for my child?
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
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| Barb and Chris | Posted: Oct 04, 2005 09:49:14 PM Only you can make the most important decision in your child's life! I to grew up in a home filled with nothing but love and I am a a sucessful woman! I have a wonderful husband and step-daughter. If you truly feel you can not support your child, there are plenty of wonderful people that will take care of the baby with all of the love and admiration you would. I was once in your shoes and took the cowards way out- don't do it, after 10 years I still cry myself to sleep (and I can not have a baby now because of it)! Let a loving family take care of the baby and you will feel pride in yourself! I am not alone with regret now that I myself am looking for that special baby to adopt. Be strong! | ||
| Kris | Posted: Feb 20, 2004 02:50:18 AM Dessiree, I know that what you are going through must be a tremendous ordeal for you! But as others have already stated this decision is totally up to you, however, if you deep down and honestly feel that you cannot give this child the things that he needs then maybe adoption is the right thing. I have friends that have adopted and still to this day are in contact to some extent with the bio mom. Myabe this would be the best thing for you. However, let me add this without sounding like I'm just trying to do something that you don't want to do. My husband and aI ahve been married for 9 years and I have some very major female problems and am not able to have a baby of my own. I'm not sure where you're located, but we would love to give your baby a wonderful home and as I said before even give you the opportunity if you so choose to keep in touch and know how the baby is doing and to be a part of his life. We are a Christian family and love children so much that having the chance to adopt one and even have the mother still in his life would be wonderful! Think about it. And also think about the fact that what you are thinking about doing is really what is best for that precious little angel of yours. So if you'f like to just talk, not about just adoption or anything else, please, please feel free to e-mail us and we'd love to be a support system for you. Good luck to you and that precious little one of yours! God Bless you both, Kris | ||
| Erika | Posted: Jan 30, 2004 09:45:31 AM There are different reasons for everyone, why you would place a child up for adoption. We have a beautiful 3 yr old who was adopted at birth and it was hard on his birth mother. Actually, I adopted him as a single parent, and my husband and I were married after the adoption was finalized and is now in the process of doing a step parent adoption. Anyway, the choice that his birth mother made was hard, I went to every DR. appointment and held those ultrasounds so close to my heart. She was a single mother raising one little girl and I was going to become a single mother raising a little boy. she choose me, because of the person that I am not so much because of money. At the time I was going just on my salary, and by no means was I rich and living in a big beautiful house with two luxary cars in the driveway. She could have choosen that type of person/couple for him, but she did not. Yes money does buy a lot, but love, determination, commitment, desire, and personality in general also play an important role. She told me once, after I expressed this to her, that she would never have place Danny with some rich couple, cuz they have money, she wanted the him to be LOVED and provided for, and she knew in her heart that I could do that. We do not get to see her much anymore, but I send pictures and cards at least twice a year. It was a private adoption and there were not any strict rules, but I give back to her what I can, and that is her knowing the Danny is indeed LOVED and provided for! Good luck! | ||
| Alesha | Posted: Jan 21, 2004 11:27:19 AM I agree with everyone that has answered you question. You are the only person that can answer this question, and your answer is the only one that counts. I know that deep down you'll make the right choice for you and your baby :) | ||
| Jody | Posted: Dec 20, 2003 03:19:41 PM I have to disagree with the posting about love being the only thing that matters not money when raising a child. The old saying that love won't pay the bills is pretty true in the case of raising children! Even if you go on assistance and have things given to you it is still a stigma for you and the child. The baby stage is very expensive,exausting and stressful even if you are an experienced and married parent. Then comes the part when school and clothes and toys and sports and all of that come into play. The things you want and want to do will always be second. That child comes before anything else in you life. Always! You need to think about what kind of home you and the child will live in- which end of town- Will you have enough money and resources to provide for yourself and a child. It is certain that you love the baby, that is not the question. The question is , are you in a position to do EVERTHING that it takes to raise up a child in the right way? Growing up in poverty with a stressed out mother and coming from the "wrong side of the tracks" is not a picnic for anyone let alone a little child. I don't mean to sound preachy but there is just so much in addition to love that a child needs. There are so many wonderful couples out there who would adore your child and be grateful to you every day of their lives for allowing them the privilage of parenting your child. It is a tough choice, no doubt. God Bless and I wish the best for you and the baby. Jody | ||
| Anonymous | Posted: Oct 29, 2003 08:10:23 PM it does not matter about money it's love that counts if you can give your child love and lots of it then he or she is the most riches in the world | ||
| Michelle | Posted: Oct 21, 2003 11:11:10 PM I think what everyone is saying is correct, only YOU can make that decision. I will tell you that it is the most difficult decision that you will ever make but if you make it with full confidence that you are doing what is best for your child and that he/she will have the best life possible and a life that you may not be able to provide him with right now that you can be sure that what you are doing is right. If you do decide to parent that child than that is also respectable and you are doing what you feel in your heart is right for you situation. I placed my son because I could not give him everything that I felt I wanted my child to have. I was confident in my decision and have been ever since. He is happy and ultimately I could not ask for anything more than that. | ||
| mary | Posted: Oct 15, 2003 03:12:25 PM I READ YOUR TOPIC ONCE AGAIN AND IT MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU MUST LOVE THIS CHILD AND HOW DIFFICULT THIS MUST BE FOR YOU. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE A COUPLE WAITING TO ADOPT A CHILD AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT WE WOULD GIVE A CHILD EVERYTHING THERE IS TO OFFER AND THEN SOME. AS WOULD ANY ADOPTIVE PARENT WAITING FOR A CHILD AS WE ARE.I WOULD REST ASSURE THAT THE WELFARE AND HAPPINESS OF YOUR CHILD IS THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS MOST IMPORTANT PRIORITY... | ||
| MARY | Posted: Oct 14, 2003 11:10:09 PM THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN OFFER AS ADVISE IS THAT DEEP DOWN YOU MUST DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT. WHAT YOU THINK YOU NEED TO DO. NO ONE CAN PRESSURE YOU, FORCE YOU OR REALLY CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL BUT YOU. ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT (YOU) NEED TO CONSIDER. AS IF AN ADOPTION PROCESS IS RIGHT FOR YOU OR NOT. THINK BEFORE YOU JUMP. GOOD LUCK. | ||
| diana | Posted: Oct 13, 2003 02:28:00 PM This is a question that only you can truly answer. I think you are brave to consider adoption. My mother considered adoption and gave me to my adoptive parents when I was three days old. Looking back, we both know she made the toughest decision in her life, and the one that was best for both of us. I wish you the best with your decision. | ||
| Desiree | Posted: Oct 13, 2003 12:14:16 PM As a child, I grew up with nothing and now that I am pregnant I don't want my baby to have the same life. I want a better life for him. What should I do? | ||
