American Adoptions Message Board

Note to posters: The American Adoptions Forum is aimed at providing a fun, informative and supportive online community for waiting families, birth mothers, adoptees and others who are interested in chatting about adoption. Negative posts, including those aimed at any adoption agency or other posters, will not be tolerated and will be removed.

In an effort to reduce spam messages posted to the American Adoptions' message board, we now require that our members log in with a registered account to post messages. We thank you for helping make the American Adoptions' online message board community a better place for all!

BOARD: Adoptee Forum » Other Topics for Adoptees.

TOPIC: What do adoptees think about adoption?

Posted By	Message
Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents.
Willa	Posted: Feb 02, 2006 04:54:37 PM i def think that adoption is good. Cause if it weren't for adoption who know what my life would have been like. i have a wonderful life with two loving parents and an older brother (who was also adopted) who can get annoying but what older brother doesn't.
Anonymous	Posted: Jun 08, 2005 08:06:44 PM It depends. If the b-parents do it for the right thing than yes but if not than no. I think that my birthmom did it for a good reason. She might wish that she didn't but she knows that it was the best thing for me. Jess
Elaine	Posted: Jul 22, 2004 01:59:54 PM I was adopted as a baby into a wonderful family. I had another sister who was also adopted (both of us from different families) and a brother who is my aparents bio son. I always felt special knowing that my bmom loved me enough to give me to people who could care for me & again for having loving parents who were willing to raise & love a child that was not their bio child. To the mother who wants to adopt ~ do what you feel is best. I'm sure that you will make the right decision for you & your baby. I can only imagine the sacrifice as I am a mother myself. That is probably now why I have sooooooo much respect for my birth mom. I have found in my search that the majority of adoptees had good experiences and were proud of the fact that they were loved so much & by so many people. It almost sounds like you have a couple of potential adoptive parents right here if you decide to place your baby up for adoption. Best of luck to you. Elaine
Paula	Posted: Jul 19, 2004 09:20:30 AM I was adopted in 1969. I was put into a foster home (actually 2) from 1967 until my adoption went through. I am actually thankful to my bmom for putting me up for adoption. At 17 she would have had her hands full. Now I have two half siblins. They are more responsible and good kids. Probably because my mom wanted to be sure they got what she didnt have a chance to give me. Dont think that because you gave up a child you cant have another one. Thats not true. It doesnt make you a bad parent. It made you a responsible person who understood her limits. If you couldnt raise your birth child you still can help the foster and adoption community it is big and the time you spend will reward you for making a good decision. PM
N/A	Posted: Jun 04, 2004 10:14:03 AM Thanks for messages on how you feel about parents giving thier babies up for adoption. I gave my child up and 11 years later I still feel guilty, and I now that I'm happily married, I feel that since I didn't keep that child, that I shouldn't have another one. But thanks for letting the adoptee parent know that it's not that bad at all.
Vicki	Posted: Apr 29, 2004 05:34:09 AM I think adoption is great...it gave me a great family...BUT...the closed adoption system sucks...I almost died because of a lack of medical information. I truely believe that as soon as an adoptee reaches 18, they should have access to their adoption files. It's not that I'm looking for another family, I'm not. It's that I want to know where I came from and what medical things I need to watch for. At 19, I would have said no medical problems existed. Now at over 40, I could tell you lots more. My bmom was 19 when I was born and there is no medical history except that she had allergies. I could have guessed that on my own as I have allergies too.
Diana	Posted: Apr 14, 2004 07:07:35 PM Hi hunny, my name is Diana and I am looking to adopt. I think it the most loveing thing a mother can do, to help her child have a better life than she might be able to give. I think that an adoptee would thank God for finding them a wonderful home with such love!! When an adopted person comes of age they will know that they were so loved. not only by their birthmother, but by the people that picked them to be in their lives forever. Have you thought about possibly an open adoption?? If you would like to talk please e-mail me. medmomof4@aol.com. God bless you for not being selfish and doing what is best for your baby!!!
robin	Posted: Mar 24, 2004 09:59:07 PM i think if you feel like thats the right thing to do then do it i hope that me and my husband can find somebody out there like you that wants to help people like us have a family we got our adoption classes done and is trying to adopt a newborn it seems hopeless though but i know god will send help just hang in there .............thanx for helping people like us just wish us good luck in finding a baby also e-mail if you want to talk herains23@yahoo.com
Gabrielle	Posted: Mar 13, 2004 01:31:00 PM I want to Thank You for your comments on being adopted. I am 36 and giving my unborn child up for adoption and with my childhood and my issues about my mother, I was wondering what the child would think of me and my choice. It made me feel much better knowing now - a - days, there are books for kids about adoptions and how special these kids are. I feel blessed that I can give a couple a child and help them grow into a family. You both sound like happy young ladies.
Alesha	Posted: Jan 21, 2004 11:30:30 AM I agree with Jackie....adoption is a wonderful thing. It gives the family of the child some reasurance and it also provides a good family for the child.
Jackie	Posted: Oct 16, 2003 03:51:45 PM I think adoption is wonderful. Through adoption, I've been blessed with a wonderful family. You might want to read my personal story that I've submitted to be posted on the website.
Amy	Posted: Oct 13, 2003 01:49:19 PM none

[Start a New Topic] [Post a Reply]

What About My Responsibilities as the Father?

“This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.”

Shawn, Birth Father

When it comes to dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, much of the compassion, sympathy and focus is placed on the woman. But what about the father?

As the father of the baby, you too are more than likely dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions. Much like the emotions being experienced by the mother, you are also likely to experience shock, denial, anger, sadness and other feelings. Many fathers express there is often a state of confusion on how to put into words what they are truly feeling. Much of the time feelings of embarrassment and a loss of control are expressed by the birth father.

However, many men also feel that by agreeing to place the baby for adoption that they are somehow not living up to their responsibilities, or are not being “man enough.” Many men also have a strong sense of pride and struggle accepting the fact that they cannot give their baby the life that an adoptive family can. Many find it difficult to understand the reasons the birth mother is choosing an adoption plan. Others incorrectly believe the birth mother is choosing adoption to get back at them if the relationship is not a friendly one. Many fear others are looking at them as somehow failing their child, family and friends, or that they are taking the “easy way out.”

No matter what your reasons are for struggling with an adoption decision for your child, the truth is that adoption is anything but the “easy way out,” nor is it a choice made by a man who is not living up to his responsibilities. Rather, it is very much the opposite. Supporting the adoption of your child is one of the most responsible, unselfish things a father can do. It is a choice that means you care so much for your child that you are willing to give them a better life than you and the birth mother can give them right now.

Home Pregnant? Become A Family View Adoptive Family Profiles Domestic Adoption Situations Adoption Information by State 1-800-HomeStudy	Adopting A Baby Our Adoption Programs Adoption Information Open Adoption The Adoption Process Transracial Adoption Links & Resources Adoption Costs	Adoption Agency Certifications Legal Disclaimer Privacy Policy American Adoptions' Offices Adoption Agencies Testimonials Blog Contact	COA invites the public at large to provide comment on intercountry adoption service providers seeking Hague Accreditation, Hague Approval, or Renewal of Accreditation/Approval. Click here to see a list of current applicants along with their mailing address.
		1.800.ADOPTION

American Adoptions -- America's Adoption Agency

American Adoptions Message Board

BOARD: Adoptee Forum » Other Topics for Adoptees.TOPIC: What do adoptees think about adoption?

What About My Responsibilities as the Father?

BOARD: Adoptee Forum » Other Topics for Adoptees.

TOPIC: What do adoptees think about adoption?