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BOARD: Discussions for Women who are Pregnant » Couldn't Find Your Topic? Post a Message Here.
TOPIC: Thinking About Adoption
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
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| Michelle | Posted: Nov 02, 2004 11:40:20 PM I understand that this is a difficult time and decision for you as I am a birth mother also and was 17 years old when I had my son. It was one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made but looking back I do not regret it at all. I love my son so much and know that even though I could have given him all the love in the world that was not going to feed him or send him to school or pay for him to play sports. Ultimately I thought about what I wanted for my son and could I provide him with anything and everything that he deserves. The birth father for my son also was not really involved in the process when I was pregnant and that was very hard to go through let alone going through the emotions of adoption. I truly believe that if you feel in your heart that there is a family out there who can give your child everything that you want for him/her than it may be a god option for you. However, this has to be your decision and no one else's. You are the only one who knows what you want for your child and what you are and are not capable of. I think you are very brave for considering your options and I know the staff at American Adoptions will be more than happy to talk with you if you are wanting that. I wish you the best of luck. | ||
| Brandi | Posted: Oct 25, 2004 11:14:38 AM Take your time. This is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make in your life. Check to see if there is any support groups in your area. I kow it is easy for the guy to walk away, it happened to me at 21. I kept my son, found a great guy when he was three. We have been married/together for 15 years. My son just graduated from high school and is starting college. It was'nt easy. But the love he gave back to me was worth every second. Before I met my husband, I was busy with part time work and college classes. Yet I was lonely. Went on dates, but was hard because some fellas did'nt like the whole package. If you keep your child, don't sell him short. When you find someone, make sure he loves your son like you do, as much as you do. My son and his bio dad have a good relationship, but the relationship with his step dad is really great. It can happen to you, just be patient. In our town we have a place called Birth Right, and they help you get on your feet and supply you with the items you need. How do your parents feel? P.S. One last bit of "been there", PLEASE--Don't ever put down his bio dad, when my son asked why we were not together, I gently told him that his dad was kinda scared to be a dad. Insulting the bio dad only chips away your sons self esteem, and makes him feel bad. I have seen it so many times in my life and it only hurts the children. Trust me it was so hard to see my sons bio dad make a great success with is life, (retired at 38) but the bond and love my son and I have is priceless. I will be here if you need to talk. Good luck. | ||
| Carol | Posted: Oct 23, 2004 05:33:59 PM Dear Brittany - My heart goes out to you -I can recall the hurt of breaking up with my first love, at age 17 (30 years ago) I respect your courage to seek guidance during this vulnerable time in your life. It takes courage to be honest about any situation and trust to seek wise counsel from others. I encourage you to consider all aspects of adoption and to imagine what it would be like for you and your baby boy to manage life without a father and at 17. There are many things to consider for each of you. I remember anticipating the day when I would marry and become a mother. I would babysit the neighbor kids and imagine what my life would be like someday with children. I could not wait. I also felt at age 17 that I had experienced so much of life - but it took several more years to show me that there were many things I had not experienced and learned; so that I could be the mom I wanted to be. I hope you will talk with your family and women you respect, teachers or neighbors or someone at your Church. There is so much support for you as you reach out to the loving hands of those who will be with you no matter what your decision is to be. My soulmate/husband of 14 years and I look forward to the day when we can announce to the world that we are adopting a baby! Every child deserves to see the light of love in the eyes of those who raise and care for them. You are your little boy's birth-mother, as you have chosen life for him - and you will always be his birth-mother, forever. Call american adoptions counselors as they care about mothers - all mothers and fathers. Call the counselor and find out how you and your little boy will be met with love, respect and care. My sister was 17 when she choose adoption and her little girl was never forgotten, by any of her family/ That was 26 years ago and my sister was then able to complete college, marry and give birth to three more children. Give yourself a moment to thing about your dreams, for now and in the future so that you can be all that you want to be as a woman, a mother and a wife someday. You are right when you say that there are many of us that can not wait to adopt and bring a baby home to raise and love as our child. Many adoptive parents are willing to keep the birth mother updated with photos and letters each year - or whatever your need is - you can even ask the adoptive parents to be with you at the hospital, to share in the labor and birth of your son. OR not - you have choices. Seek the counselors guidance and accurate information and see how you will be supported, to make an informed decision - a decision from love, not fear. Adoption is about love! God bless you and may all of your dreams come true for you and your son. Praying for your care and the well being of your son - he is blessed to be surrounded by love for his 9 months of growth- a very critical time to experience being loved - as this will last a lifetime. Carol in Texas | ||
| Virginia | Posted: Oct 21, 2004 08:43:52 AM Hi Brittany, It is understandable that you are confused about whether or not to start an adoption plan. I would like suggest calling a counselor to find out about adoption and what options are available for you and your baby. I know American Adoptions has a 24 hour help line. It doesn't hurt to talk to someone who can listen to your concerns and help you make the best decision for you and your baby. God Bless you and your baby and stay strong. Virginia | ||
| Brittany | Posted: Oct 15, 2004 03:58:12 PM I'm Only Seventeen And Almost Seven Month's Along Now. My Baby's Father And I Recently Had A Bad Break Up And Now He Is Trying To Force Me To Give Our Son Up For Adoption. I Know What A Wonderful Gift My Baby Could Be To A Less Fourtante Family But This Is Not What I Truly Want. How Do I Go About Making The Right Descion In Hopes Of My Unborn Son? | ||
