American Adoptions Message Board
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| Meg | Posted: Nov 20, 2004 11:53:02 AM
I am adopted and now have three adopted children ages 7, 4, and 2. My husband and I talked about adoption before we were ever married. Heck, we weren't even engaged yet and it was a topic of conversation. Being adopted, talking about such things was natural to me. And important. I'd been saying my whole life that I would adopt. I might have bio kids, too, but I was determined to adopt. He knew how important it was to me and he was supportive and accepting, and happy to have a family of _any_ kind, so adopting was not an issue. That is, he was in no way opposed to it. In fact, he had a heart for adoption, too, even though he had virtually no experience with it prior to meeting me. We wanted a big family, so adoption seemed like a great choice. Less wear and tear on me. haha My parents, of course, were very supportive and so were my birth family whom I'd met some years earlier. My birthmom, in fact, gave me valuable insight for helping one of the birthmoms of our kids during the adoption process. Initially, we did plan on having biological children, with a heart toward adopting from China later. Instead, after over 6 years, we had no biological children and unexpectedly found ourselves in the position to adopt a relative child. We didn't know for sure that we were facing an actual fertility problem for another 2 years. We could have pursued that, but decided we'd rather adopt. We became foster parents and have since adopted 2 more children. We've now been married 14 years and while there's a little part of me that would still like to experience pregnancy, I have no regrets about adoption itself and I know my husband is quite content and has no real need for us to have biological children. We've had some struggles with one of the children we adopted through foster care, but that's a side issue and not related to the adoption itself. Open hearts and clear communication between yourself and your spouse are crucial. If your husband is unsure, it will help him to talk to other adoptive dads who are as crazy about their kids as mine is. What it boils down to is this: which is more important? To biologically reproduce, or to Parent A Child? If you long to be a parent and cannot conceive, then adoption is a solid, loving, wonderful chance for you to have the family you so desire. If you have bio kids and still have a heart toward adoption, your life stands to me even richer than it already is.
Good luck.
Meg
| | pamela skaggs | Posted: Nov 16, 2004 01:14:31 PM
I would like to hear from men or women who were adopted and who have or is in the final stages of adoption. I would like to hear your stories about both of your adoptions.How did it affect your spouse or did it?
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Mission Statement:
American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846).
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