It is ultimately up to a birth parent to take responsibility for their own healing after placement. As adoptive parents, there are a few key things you can do to help a birth parent with the process after placement.
14
Sep
2016
Have Faith in Your Child’s Birth Mother
I made a conscious, thought out choice to put my son up for adoption. I also made sure that I chose his parents wisely. That’s right, I chose my son’s parents. The family was not forced upon me, the decision was not made for me, I was actively engaged along every step of the way. I have an open adoption, and voluntarily placed my son up for adoption. My son’s parents know that I chose them. I know that they value that gift. I want to share some insight into that relationship and encourage adoptive parents to know they are valued, and respected for the gift that adoptive parents give to a birth mother.
31
Aug
2016
Tips for Bonding with Your Child’s Birth Parents
Bonding with my son’s mother has come more naturally to me at certain times, and felt more difficult at other times. There were times that I felt insecure about bonding with her because I was afraid of what she might think of me. I think I realized that she was fearful of the same thing. You see, people are people, no matter what role they play in life. Whether you are a birth mother or an adoptive parent, you are still human. Human beings get fearful and insecure about what others might think of them. We may second guess actions that we take or words that we speak. Confidence doesn’t come easy for the fallible human being. Therefore, bonding with a birth parent may feel like a challenge.
17
Aug
2016
A Birth Mother’s Guide to Manners
I think that most people believe adoption is a great thing in general. They consider it the alternative to abortion, or they believe in personal choices and empowerment. Each of these mind sets seems to be sweet on the surface, but on the root level, they come from places of complete misunderstanding about what it means to be a birth mother. Having an abortion and placing a baby for adoption come from two completely different schools of thought regarding the value of a woman’s body and the value of the life of a child. Being a birth mother, and making that decision to place a child for adoption is about genuinely loving that child. It has nothing to do with anything else except, what I consider, pure love.
3
Aug
2016
Understanding a Birth Mother’s Grief
I didn’t understand what I was going through at the time, but through research, counseling, and my healing path, I have realized something crucial: I have moved through the grief process when it comes from transitioning from having the role of a custodial parent to the role of being a birth mother.
20
Jul
2016
Long Story, Short – A Birth Mother’s Journey
Long story short, I was a mother for six months. I was excellent at it. I breastfed, paid attention to his vaccination schedule, and practiced attachment parenting. I also worked full-time one hour away, had almost no money left after paying an amazing nanny, and did not get more than four hours of sleep per night.