Dear Birth Parent(s),

We are John and Mirza. We had known each other for three years prior to getting married and recently celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. During the first four years of our marriage, we went through infertility treatments including surgery to no avail. Those were difficult times but we took them as opportunities to live out our marriage vows of loving each other "in sickness and in health…till death do us part." This heartbreak has brought us so many tears but also drew us so much closer to each other. We learned that even in our suffering, there is always something good that can be drawn. We're over the grieving period and ready to move on with our lives that is why we're writing this letter.

Several years ago Mirza helped a very dear friend struggle with two unplanned pregnancies. Mirza found about the first pregnancy when her friend started having post abortion stress. Mirza connected her friend with counselors to help her. With the second pregnancy, Mirza encouraged her friend to consider adoption so as not to go through the same trauma she had with the first pregnancy. The beautiful 7 year old child has been with her adoptive parents doing what she's supposed to do, being a girl. We know that you may not choose us as your child's adoptive parents and you may not choose adoption at all. Regardless of what you choose our prayers are with you during this very difficult moment.

Mirza was born and raised in the Philippines and moved here when she was 17. John on the other hand never left the city he was born in. Since we are from two different families, background, race, and culture, your child will get the best of both worlds and nothing less. We will continue the same traditions we grew up with i.e. Sunday lunch with the extended family; singing and dancing at family parties; Halloween trick or treating; Easter egg hunting; etc.

We have not yet fully decided who will work part time once the first child arrives. We have agreed however that we will try to limit the amount of time your child will have to spend with other care givers to one or two days a week at the most. We will conduct some form of background check of the child’s part-time care giver before entrusting him/her to anyone.

We fell in love and continue to do so because we make it a priority to find time for the other. In spending time together, we continually get to know each other and the joys, dreams, fears, frustrations, etc. the other spouse has. We intend to spend the same quality time with your child and his/her future siblings to get to know them better. We will have daily family dinners, afternoon play times, nightly bedtime stories and prayers, Sunday masses, weekend trips, long vacations, holiday projects, etc. We will have activities with the children collectively but also individually. In this way, we can form a relationship with each child and meet his/her individual needs.

We agree to use time-outs or withholding privileges as a way to discipline the child. We will give him/her a few warnings before executing any disciplinary measures unless the child's action could physically hurt him/her or other children. In that case, one warning is all the child will get. After disciplinary measure is executed, we will explain to the child the reason for the punishment and affirm our love to him/her at the same time.

When your child gets older, we hope to send him/her to a good private school if finances allow us to. If not, we'll make sure your child goes to one of the best public schools in the city. We also plan to educate your child in life skills that he/she may not learn in school like homemaking, handy-man work, budgeting, arts, etc. In this way, your child will be a well-rounded individual.

We humbly appreciate your taking the time to get a glimpse of our marriage and the kind of family we intend to build for your child. You will be a witness to this since we will send you pictures and updates on the child. I hope that you'll find it in your heart to trust us with your precious gift. It would be a great honor for us to raise your child with the same unselfish love that you have.

Sincerely yours,

John & Mirza