It’s strange writing a letter to someone we’ve never met…but I guess it’s no different for you, reading a letter from someone you’ve never met either. We get so focused on our end of the adoption process, that it’s easy to forget the other side of the equation:
You. A mother facing one of the toughest decisions of her life.
We can’t possibly understand the difficulties you’re confronting right now, or the unimaginable pressure that comes with such a decision. We’ve known each other for five years, been married for two, and tried very hard to get pregnant--but never succeeded. We can’t give any advice or share any wisdom about your decision, no matter how much we’d like. One thing we can give, though, is the assurance that if you choose us, our lives will be devoted to a single task: working every day to prove your decision was the right one.
We will provide your child with everything that matters: a safe home, full of love and family. We want nothing more than to raise a healthy, happy, kind human being, and every choice we make will have that goal in mind. Our family will read books, tell stories, laugh too loud, and not apologize for it. We’ll work on projects, take trips, have adventures. Our school district is one of the best in the state, and offers everything a kid needs to be prepared--to give them the freedom to choose whatever future they desire. Your child will learn about the world, and hopefully with their joy and laughter, make it a better place along the way.
We’ve seen the impact of adoption first-hand; the power it has to change people’s lives--people like Trey's sister, who adopted two wonderful little kids from Ethiopia. When we watch those children play and laugh with their new family, we’re witnessing the closest thing to magic there is in the real world. But there’s also a tinge of sadness--my sister’s adopted children are orphans. Their birth parents are not alive; they’ll never see that joy, never know that their children found a safe, loving home to call their own. But for you, it will be different--you have the opportunity to witness what happens. To know.
We want you to see how your child is thriving. We’ll send letters and pictures, and exchange periodic emails and/or phone calls. We’re also willing to consider future visits. The important thing is that we want your child to have what our niece and nephew cannot--to know where they came from, and to understand the sacrifice you made.
Finally, we’d like to simply say thank you--for reading this letter, for taking the time to learn about us and our life together, and for pursuing adoption in the first place. Regardless of whether or not you pick us to be the lucky couple to adopt your child, we respect the tremendous weight of your decision, and the courage necessary to make it.
You’re doing a truly wonderful thing.
Trey and Stephanie
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