Never in our lives has a letter seemed more important than this one. Though we have no way to know who you are or what you’re going through right now, one thing seems very certain to us: that your decision to consider placing your child for adoption is an act of immeasurable love and bravery. And we are so grateful for that.
Like so many people, we have wanted to have children for a long while, yet have been unable to do so. We wish you could see how excited we are to have a family and how much love and affection fills our home. Since that’s not possible, we hope we can convey a small measure of our love, admiration and excitement to you through this note.
Put simply, we would relish the opportunity to bring your child into our family. Both individually and as a couple, we feel ready and excited to become parents. And though we suppose no one really knows what it’s going to be like to become a parent until it happens, we know we want to raise a child in much the same way we were raised: by loving parents who always made sure that we were their first priority, made us feel secure and tried to help us grow into compassionate, kind adults who contribute meaningfully to the people and community around them. Security, love and our commitment to helping him or her grow into being an independent, happy adult- those are the most important things we believe we have to give to a child.
We have been together for more than 10 years and finally married in 2011. We began trying to become pregnant soon after. Through five years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, still excited to become parents, we decided to adopt. Adoption feels like a natural way for us to create a family. Partially because we have so many members of our family who have been adopted and partially because - as a gay couple - we always knew there would be more challenges for us in building a family than for some.
While anyone who’s close to us knows how much we want to be parents, anyone who has the chance to meet our family and friends would see that we have competition over who’s most excited about the fact that we are planning to adopt. This child will have lots of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as a whole bunch of family friends to celebrate their addition to our family and their growth and development over the years. We can't wait for all of that to begin.
Along with our family and friends, our home is a big part of who we are. We live in a neighborhood full of families of all kinds, with playgrounds, schools, and a pool all just a short walk away. Incredibly, there is a national park within walking distance where we spend lots of time hiking with our dogs. Our neighbors are our friends and the community we live in feels just like a small town, even though it’s actually part of a big city.
Our house is warm and welcoming and often full of friends and visiting family. We have a big kitchen that we love to cook in, a finished basement that is perfect for a giant kids’ playroom, and a large backyard for kids to run around.
We are also eager to get to know you and build a relationship if you are interested in an open adoption. No matter what you decide, we will always honor how important you are to this child’s life and keep you updated with photos and letters. Between the two of us, we have eight adopted cousins, so we know how amazing it will be to bring a child into our lives through adoption.
We feel incredibly lucky to have this chance to bring a child into our life and complete our family. We cannot wait to meet him or her.
Again, thank you. We hope your search finds the best possible placement for you and your child.
All our best,
Heather and Elizabeth
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