Thank you in advance for reading our letter. We’ve been trying to start our family for a while now and adoption is simply an extension of that. Our hearts are eager to welcome our new baby, and you, into our lives. While we know that we’ll love our future children with all of our hearts, we’ll also love you. For the gift you’re giving us, for the characteristics we’ll cherish in them that come from you, for the positive effects that come from having you in their lives, and in ours. Our hearts have led us to you, and we hope you feel the same way.
We’re a young couple that met in college. We’ve been together for eleven years (married for five) and find ourselves saying that we’re more “obsessed” with each other every year. We’re surrounded by lifelong friends and devoted family, but we think that everything is more enjoyable when we’re together. We expect that raising our children will be no exception.
We aren’t parents yet but to us being a parent means committing our life to someone other than ourselves. To focus our energy on raising a person who is kind, thoughtful, and will bring happiness to others. We look forward to spending our time with such a cool person. Within our first few years we most look forward to having them tag along with us wherever we go. Courtney is already scouting out cafes they can go to sit with a snack, people watch, and learn about the world, together.
Courtney’s family celebrates everything, big and small. It’s a way to enjoy life a little more and appreciate things along the way. We want to take every opportunity we can to remind our child that their adoption is a positive part of their lives. We’ll do that by annually celebrating the important dates along the way. The day of their birth, the day we first met them. And of course, the day their adoption was finalized. We’ll make these days that we all look forward to and that reassure us that we were all meant to be a family. You will always be a part of these celebrations, whether in person, phone call, or spirit.
Another thing we look forward to is creating a tradition around our communication with you. Of course, when they’re younger we’ll choose photos and milestones to share, but as soon as they’re old enough to help (maybe two or three) we want to include them in the decisions and communications. We imagine all three of us huddling around the computer clicking through photos, letting them choose which ones to send each time. Asking them what they’d like to tell you about. From the very beginning they’ll know that you care about what they’re up to and how they’re doing.
The most important thing to us is that we raise a good person. Someone who cares about other people’s feelings. It’s also important to us that they learn how to work for the things they want out of life. And we want to teach them to persevere when it isn’t as easy as they expected. We want them to go away to college and become independent people. And we want to raise them full of acceptance and comfort so that they always know they can come home, and more importantly want to.
We know that you’ll always love your baby, and we respect you for loving them this much. We’ll honor that respect by following through with our commitment to you. We believe that everything happens for a reason. And all of our struggles have happened in order for us to be among the many adoptive families in front of you today.
With sincere enthusiasm,
Graham and Courtney
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