We’re writing this letter in a bit of a haze, and can imagine you’re in a hazy place yourself. We have known that we wanted to adopt a child for years. Now that we’re actually here, filling out all this paperwork and starting the process to bring home a child- maybe your child- it almost feels unreal. This process is wonderful and horrible, happy and sad, all at the same time.
You are an amazing person. You love your child so much that you are considering the ultimate sacrifice: letting your child become someone else’s child. That is an incredible gift to give your child and his or her adopted family. Thank you.
You may be feeling guilty. Not sure which way to turn. We feel guilty as well. We don’t want to steal someone’s opportunity to be a parent. We are parents. Parenthood is miraculous. We do not want to take from you. But if, after searching your soul, you find that placing your child for adoption with our family is the right choice, we would be thrilled to accept that gift. We will cherish the gift, and never for one second take for granted the weight of the responsibility you have placed in our hands. We will send you regular updates, letters, and pictures of your child as they flourish in our family. They will become our child, but they will be raised with your story. They will know that you are a wonderful person who loved them so much you were willing to place them with another family.
A little about us: We have been together for sixteen years. Married for almost nine of those years. We met as innocent college Freshmen at Gonzaga University. Our path to marriage was a rocky one. Jobin is a first-generation American of Indian descent. Jenni is an all-American girl from the Pacific Northwest. The world- and some members of our family- were not sure our transracial union was a wise one. Facing that struggle early in our relationship made it rock solid. No matter what tough time we go through, we know we are stronger together.
That strength was important as we started the journey to try to have biological children. Faced with almost certain infertility, we struggled mightily to have our two boys, Jonah (4) and Solomon (2). We do not take parenthood for granted. We suffered illness, loss, and long-lasting physical and emotional scars in our quest to bring Jonah and Solomon into this world. We are grateful every single day for them. We will bring our appreciation for life and love of parenting to raising your child as well.
Choosing to place your child with a couple that has biological children is different than choosing a couple without children. We cannot parade friends before you to tell you that we would make perfect parents. Because, we already are parents, and we are far from perfect. In making sure your choice to place your child for adoption is freely your own, we have tried hard to present an accurate picture of our life to you. Not to sugarcoat things.
So, no, we cannot promise your child perfection. We cannot promise your child abundance. With three children in the family, the budget for Christmas presents and college and birthdays must be split three ways. We cannot promise your child exclusive focus. Our love is unending, but our attention must be divided by three.
What we can promise your child is experience. We have already been through the baby, toddler, and preschool phases. We know how to raise a young child. We can promise your child fabulous big brothers who will adore, play with, and protect them. We can promise your child a wonderful community of family and friends. And we can promise your child a loving, fun, silly home to grow up in.
What we promise you is honesty, both in how we’ve portrayed ourselves in our profile and with any questions you may wish to ask us. And a heartfelt promise that we will love your child as our own.
Jobin and Jenni
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