Personal Adoption Story

Dave and Lisa's adoption story

Adoption Story - Dave and Lisa's adoption story

Lily and I bonded immediately when we met one another. You hear stories about how that does not happen, but it happened with us. My husband Dave and I had read a book on the plane over to China called "becoming a family" and applied some of the principles the authors had shared with us, so Lily knew I was her "forever mama."

On the van ride over to the Guangdong Civil Affairs office in Guangzhou, our facilitator Richard told us that Lily had a cough and that once we take a look at her, we should talk with him and if necessary, he would take us to the International Clinic in Guangzhou. He urged us not to wait to get home, to get her treatment immediately. Richard's concern and caring was a steady presence throughout our trip to China.

When we got into the Civil Affairs office, we walked upstairs and in front of us was a man carrying a little baby girl. All we could see was her nose, eyes and the top of her head. She was tiny and looking at us over the man's shoulder. I pointed at her and said, 'Dave, that is our daughter!' It sure was, and she was being carried to by the director of the Lianjiang orphanage. I wanted to tap the man on the shoulder and say, "That's our daughter! You can give her to me right now!" But we had to wait and follow the correct process, so we just followed him along with Richard and another couple from Seattle that was waiting for their forever daughter.

We went into a room and Lily was handed over to us with a sheet of instructions and all the toys we sent to her at the orphanage. She was wearing a little blue onesie and blue socks, and tried to cry when handed to us but instead let out a little cough. I just looked into her eyes and stroked her face and told her, "I am your mama and you are going to get better...right now." I held her tight to me and would not let her go. There were tears in my eyes and a feeling in me that I never had before...the feeling of being a mom with her baby and wanting to take care of her immediately. No questions asked.

One of the orphanage staff, an older woman with rosy cheeks, bright eyes and a sweet smile, came over to me and put her arm around me. Language separated us, but I put my arm around her, looked into her eyes and said, "shi shi ni." I handed her a letter I had written to Lily's caretaker and had translated into pinyin. She looked a bit awkward until Richard stepped in and told her what it was and then nodded and smiled at me again.

Richard, Dave and I did a quick evaluation of Lily and said we needed to take her to the clinic right away. We went to the hotel that adjoins the Guangdong Civil Affairs Office where the orphanage staff and babies stayed, got our donation certificate and took photos of the staff with the diapers we donated, and then left. Off we went with Richard after he made sure the other family was safely in the van with their daughter and on the way back to the hotel. Richard hailed a cab and we went to the International Clinic.

Lily was evaluated by a doctor and found to be dehydrated with a respiratory infection. After she got some soy formula in her, and after she peed, spit up on me and knocked formula all over my brand new pants (yes, I was christened into motherhood..three times!), she perked up a bit and took a nebulizer pretty easily as well as lay fairly still for an x-ray. We left the clinic four hours later with zithromax in suspension and an inhaler with a spacer. During those four hours, Lily's extroverted, clever and funny personality started to shine through. She charmed all the nurses, did not want to stay still on the hospital cot and was smiling the same way she did in her referral photo. And during those four hours, Richard become one of our dearest friends, talking with the nurses and doctors and insisting on the best care and attention for Lily, running to McDonald's to get two hungry and tired parents lunch and instructing me how to feed Lily.

All the while when we were at the clinic and for the next two weeks, Lily never left my side, or front for that matter. I carried her everywhere in her carrier or in my arms, and we co-slept with her, too. We both touched her face, spoke to her in soft tones and smiled, and comforted her when she cried. We gave her warm baths in our hotel room sink, spread blankets on the floor and covered them with toys for her to roll, crawl and play with.

On the second day we had her and before we had to go to the Civil Affairs office to finalize the adoption , she rolled over when we woke up, looked at my husband and gave him a big old raspberry. She then started giggling. We could not contain ourselves either, both agreeing that Lily is definitely our daughter and was certainly the right child for us.

I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home for 6 weeks after returning from China and again, Lily never left my side and she co-slept with us for a while until she got used to her crib. We played with a lot of toys, went visiting to my work and my husband's work and everyone thought she looked like a little doll.

Today, at almost 3 years old, Lily is still very bonded to me and has become quite attached to her "daddy." Friends and family make comments about how close Lily and I are, and even my husband does, too. He says we had to travel half way around the world to find a little Chinese version of me. We both are left-handed, very expressive, love to read and love shoes. And, there is nothing better for me that picking her up at her school and seeing her drop the toy she is playing with yelling, "Mommy!" and running over to hug my legs and ask to be picked up.

Lily has been reading books about feelings and she will spontaneously say, "I am very happy!" Which assures Dave and me that we are doing the right things with her.

Lisa and Dave
Glen Allen, VA