Thinking About Parenting?

Choosing to parent either as a single parent, with the help of a father or with from family and friends are all options you may be considering. It is not an easy decision.

It is helpful if you explore with family and friends the difficulties they experienced in raising their first child. It is important to keep in mind that struggling to make it through parenthood each day might be some of your friends and family members' thoughts of parenting. You may however feel that struggling isn't good for your child.

Step back and ask yourself:

• What can I currently offer my child?
• Is that what is best for my child?
• Is that what I want for my child?

Only you can answer those questions. A parent should be focusing on providing a better life for their child. A devoted parent loves their child enough to make the sacrifices to give their child a better life. Sometimes the sacrifices are giving a child a better life through adoption. Sometimes, it is a parent making hard and difficult sacrifices so their child can have everything they never had.

"I wasn't sure if Jimmy was going to be around to help with parenting or not. I choose adoption because I wanted to be certain that my child had a mother and father." Melanie

"Scott and I talked for a long time about parenting and we decided to make a lot of sacrifices to make it work. It is really hard but worth it." Scott and Mary

"I really had to think what was going to be best for my baby. The easy thing would have been to just ignore things but that wouldn't have been fair to him." Shanika

If you are considering parenting you should ask yourself these questions:

• Will the child have a father figure who will remain involved?
• How will parenting affect my future?
• How will my decision to parent affect my child's life?
• How much support will my family and friends be?
• Can I really count on others to help me out?
• Will I be able to give my child everything he/she deserves?
• Will my child be able to go to college?
• What happens to my child, if I have health problems?
• How much different will my life really be?

If you decide on parenting and need some resources to help you, there are several listed below:

Medicaid
If you are looking for information regarding medical coverage for you and your child you might be eligible for state assistance. Click on the link above to determine your eligibility.

Crisis Pregnancy Centers (courtesy of Options magazine)
Find a crisis pregnancy center near you for counseling, fetal care and information.

WIC - Food vouchers
WIC is a federal program that is available in every state. WIC provides food vouchers for pregnant women and their children.

Single parenting is a difficult choice to make because the child and mother often sacrifice so much in life. While single parenting is chosen by women all across America, it does have many drawbacks. In extensive studies of single mothers, many single mothers regretted not considering adoption more seriously. Many of these women were pressured by family members and friends who promised to help them with their parenting responsibilities. Most unfortunately discovered that assurances and support from family and friends quickly faded. They were left alone to struggle to parent their child. Many felt guilty for depriving their child of a better life that they would have had through adoption.

"If I could tell you one thing, it would be to explore your options and really think about what is best for your baby. I only thought about what was easiest at the time for me." Lisa

"My mom and dad promised to help me out and they did for awhile. After several months though, I was left on my own. Don't get me wrong I love my son but I feel bad for him. He doesn't have a dad and isn't able to have all that I want for him." Alicia

"I am a single mother and wouldn't change it but I do realize that my life and my child's life is much more difficult than if I had a husband to share in my child's life." Jill

If you choose single parenting make sure you have carefully reviewed all your options and considered all the challenges you will face as a single parent. It is important to understand that the child will grow up without a father and studies have shown this negatively affects both boys and girls. It is important to explore the cons of single parenting so you can really see it through your child's eyes. It is a good idea to reach out to other single parents to discuss the challenges they are experiencing. The younger you are the more difficult it will be to be a single parent. Even with support of family and friends, single parenting is like climbing a mountain everyday. It is not that a mountain is not worth climbing for a child, the question is, what life does your child deserve?