Keeping your pregnancy a secret seems easy enough in the first few weeks and months. Yet, as your belly begins to grow you find yourself increasingly wondering when, or if, you should tell your friends or family about your pregnancy and adoption decision. As you search your closet for baggy jeans or shirts to help hide your belly, you may also be searching for ways to continue to keep your pregnancy a secret – or do you finally share the news with close family and friends?

 

Ultimately, the choice is yours. Adoption is a very personal decision and you have the right to tell, or not to tell, whomever you feel comfortable about your pregnancy and adoption plan. You may decide to tell a select few about your decision – your parents, your best friend or maybe just your sister or brother. Just as it is your baby and your decision about what to do about your pregnancy, it is also your decision as to who you share your decision and pregnancy with.

 

However, many women are fearful about telling anyone about their pregnancy and adoption plan. The fear of being disowned by your parents or being looked down upon by your friends is a very powerful one and leads many women to consider keeping their pregnancy a secret.

 

You have two choices before you – to tell or not to tell. While it can be very difficult to do so at first, telling a select few of friends or family members who are close to you about your pregnancy and adoption may actually be a comfort to you. While you may think that they will be angry or disappointed with you, you may be surprised to find that they are very supportive of you and your plan. It is important in adoption to have a good support system near you to help you through all the ups and downs you are experiencing and will continue to experience. Having the shoulder of a friend or family member to lean on can be a very powerful and meaningful support to you during this time.

 

If you choose to keep your pregnancy and adoption plan a secret, that it OK, too. Your adoption specialist can serve as your support system – reach out to her and tell her about your decision to keep your pregnancy and adoption plan a secret from those you know. She will be there to support you every step of the way. You may also wish to speak to Michelle Wellwood, a proud birth mother who now reaches out to other birth mothers at our agency. She has been in your shoes and understands everything you are going through. Adoption has become a very personal mission in her life and is also here to support you every step of the way. Our agency also has a list of other birth mothers that we have worked with who also reach out to women pursuing an adoption plan. If you would like to speak to one of these amazing women, just ask your adoption specialist for a list of names and contact information.

 

You should also realize that as your pregnancy progresses, it will be harder to keep your secret from those around you. If you wish to relocate to another town during your pregnancy, speak to your adoption specialist. Our agency has helped women wishing to hide their pregnancy and adoption plan by relocating them to another town or state for the duration of their pregnancy. While this may seem like an attractive option, please know that relocation can also leave you feeling even more alone and is a serious decision. You should only relocate if you have very serious concerns regarding your safety or how your family and friends will react. If you are simply afraid of telling your friends and family, then share your concerns with your adoption specialist. She will be able to provide you support and information on ways to help you break the news to them.

 

You should also have a plan in place just in case someone you know does discover your pregnancy and adoption plan. Speak to your adoption specialist about how you should handle such an encounter so that you are prepared. Rest assured that our agency keeps all of your information confidential, so you don’t need to worry about anyone finding out about your pregnancy or adoption plan from us. However, family and friends may become suspicious and find out on their own. Make sure you know what to say and how to handle the situation, just in case.

 

Whether you choose to share your pregnancy and adoption plan with your family and friends or not, you should know that we are here for you. Do not be afraid of sharing your emotions with your adoption specialist – she is here to support you. You may reach your adoption specialist or Michelle Downard at any time by simply calling 1-800-ADOPTION.