What Do I Tell People When They Ask About My Pregnancy?
As you progress through your pregnancy it will become increasingly more obvious to people around you that you are pregnant. While you may be able to hide your growing belly in the early stages of pregnancy, it will eventually become obvious to all that you are having a baby – what do you tell people when they ask you about your pregnancy?
The answer is to tell people however much – or little – you wish to tell them. While some women have no problem telling everyone around them about their adoption plan, others prefer to keep this information private, only sharing it with a select group of people close to them. Adoption is a very personal decision, and it is up to you to decide who you decide to share your adoption plan with.
Decide who you are comfortable sharing your adoption plan with – whether it is just your family and close friends, or everyone you know, it is your choice who you discuss your pregnancy and adoption decision with. If you decide to share the news with just your family or a few close friends, but not with everyone else you may come into contact with, that is OK. Just because you share your adoption plan with a few select people, doesn’t mean you are obligated to share it with the rest of the world. Only share as much as you are comfortable with, don’t be afraid of picking and choosing who you decide to share your adoption plan with – this is a very personal choice for you, and should only be shared with those you wish to share it with.
Whether it is a family member, friend, classmate or even a stranger in the supermarket, you will more than likely encounter questions about your pregnancy from people unaware of your adoption plan. You may be asked questions about when you are due, what you are going to name your baby, etc. Although these people mean no harm in asking these questions, many women who have chosen adoption find themselves in a very uncomfortable situation when posed questions like this. Should you tell them about your adoption? Should you ignore them?
Again, it is up to you who you share your adoption plan with. Some women choose to simply answer the questions without disclosing anything about their adoption plan. If you are very brief with your answers, more often than not the person asking you the questions will sense that you don’t wish to speak in detail about your pregnancy and will stop asking you questions. Or, you may wish to simply change the subject altogether – this will also indicate your preference to not discuss your pregnancy with the person you are speaking with. You may also act like you are in a hurry and leave the situation in an effort to avoid any further questions.
Some women also simply tell the person they are speaking with that they don’t wish to talk about it. Don’t be afraid of appearing rude – people will understand if you don’t want to discuss your pregnancy. Pregnancy is a private time for many women – whether they are placing their baby for adoption or not.
No matter what you choose, you should, however, prepare yourself for how you will handle such questions. Begin to think about how you will answer questions like this so that you won’t find yourself “on the spot” and unprepared. If you are concerned about what you will tell people about your pregnancy and adoption plan, share these concerns with you adoption specialist. You may also wish to speak to Michelle Wellwood, a birth mother who now shares her experience with pregnant women, like you, who are considering adoption. Most importantly, know that we are here for you. If you wish to discuss this topic, or anything else about your adoption plan, feel free to call our agency 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-ADOPTION.
