Many adoptive families and birth mothers wonder why adoption counseling and case management is necessary. Adoption is an emotionally involved decision, not only for birth parents, but also for adoptive families. Too often, suppressed emotions surface during the emotionally-involved process of adoption and adoptive families and birth parents may need support during the adoption.

For Birth Mothers

Many birth mothers are faced with an unplanned pregnancy, financial worries, and social pressure that can cause them to shut down emotionally. When this happens, they may seem and even feel that they are completely committed to their adoption plan. However, if they have not explored their feelings about the adoption with a counselor or social worker, they could later regret their decision. Adoption counseling helps the birth parents work through their emotions and personal situation, which helps a birth parent’s ability to make the right decision for them to either parent or place their child for adoption. Counselors and social workers can also provide much needed support to birth parents who feel pressured from family and friends. They are available 24 hours a day to answer any question a birth parent might have about their decision, and they can provide them with guidance that has helped other women who have placed their child through adoption.

Adoption counseling is important for birth mothers because counselors and social workers will help her to:

• Fully understand the entire adoption process;
• Prepare for the emotions most birth mothers experience during the adoption process, including the grief and loss process;
• Realize that adoption is about what is the best decision for the child;
• Evaluate if adoption is the best decision for her or if there will be support for her during the entire process;
• Discuss her adoption plans with her friends and family members;
• Overcome worries about the adoptive family and the child’s future;
• Understand how adoptive families are properly screened and evaluated, so she can trust the family she picks is the right family for the child;
• Evaluate her life and how she would provide for a child realistically;
• Work through her emotions after the adoption is finalized.

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For Adoptive Families

The adoption process is an emotionally volatile time for families as well. They may have experienced years of medical procedures during their infertility treatments, spent large sums of money on doctors, experienced miscarriages, and some families have even experienced adoption disruptions. American Adoptions not only wants to make sure that the family is emotionally ready to proceed with their adoption plan, but also that they have the support they need during this time.

American Adoptions assigns each family an adoptive family specialist who is with them during their entire adoption process. Usually, the specialist works with families in the beginning to understand the process. They help families create realistic expectations about adoption and explain how each of their decisions will affect their adoption.  They provide support during the time when the family is waiting to be matched with a birth mother. This can be very hard for some families, as they have no control over the situation.  Experienced adoptive family specialists have been involved in numerous successful adoptions, so they are able to help the family understand that they will eventually be matched with the perfect woman who will make them parents.

The adoptive family specialists also help the adoptive family to prepare to meet or speak with the birth parents. Creating a good relationship with the birth parents is very important for a successful adoption. But it can be hard for the family to know the right things to say or how to act, and they may not be sure what emotions are appropriate to show. For example, an adoptive family may be very sensitive to the fact that this is an extremely hard decision for an expectant mother, and this concern may cause them to hold back their excitement and joy of adopting the child. The pregnant woman may then feel that the family is not committed or happy about the prospect of adoption and may wonder if she chose the right family. The adoptive family specialist can help the adoptive family understand the birth mother’s feelings and how to be open enough with their emotions to create a strong relationship.

Also, adoptive families should be concerned if an agency does not offer the birth parents counseling services. It should not be required, but counseling should be available to any birth parent. If adoptive families choose an adoption professional that does not offer counseling, they are putting their adoption plans at risk. American Adoptions provides birth mothers with a specialist who is available 24 hours a day. Our specialists are professionals who can help birth mothers work through their feelings and decide if adoption really is the right decision for them and when they should begin looking for an adoptive family for their child.

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Is Adoption Right for your Family?