I knew that I was pregnant right away and was devastated. Being a single mother, unemployed and on welfare, I knew having anther child would take take more than I was able to give financially and emotionally. My daughter is five years old and the result of an abusive relationship. When she was born, I found the strength to leave and go back to school to better our lives. I faced many challenges throughout the years, and by the time I becamse pregnant again, my life was a mess. I had made the mistake of letting my daughter's father back into my life for my daughter's sake. He was there and then gone after a few weeks, and I was left to mend my daughter's broken heart and another child on the way.
At first I was convinced an abortion was the answer, but as time went on, I couldn't bring myself to make that appointment, and then as the deadline pass, I knew I was having the baby. Then the big question became what will happen when I leave the hospital. How am I going to do this? Being barely able to support my daughter and myself, I knew that the logical answer was adoption. Through the pregnancy, I became set with my decision, although emotionally, I felt so disappointed and angry that I had to give up something so precious. Dealing with the negative emotions was only lightened by the fact that I was doing what was best for my unborn child, this decision would provide the stability and opportunities that I couldn't provide.
My son was born on July 5, 2012. It was incredible to be able to hold him in my arms and to feel the enormous amount of love I have for him. It has been less than a month since he was born, and although I do ache to hold my baby again, it brings me so much joy to know that he is with a good family that will love him. The parents and I have chosen to have an open adoption, so it comforts me to know I will be able to see him grow over the year through pictures and letter, and I hope that one day I will see him again. This is been one of the hardest things I have ever been through, and although I have a lot of healing to do to overcome the grief and loss I feel, I know my son will be safe, healthy and happy; at the end of the day, that is all that matters.
©2018 American Adoptions - All Rights Reserved