My name is Tiffany and I am the birth mother to a beautiful little girl Ari who was adopted by wonderful parents through American Adoptions. This is my story:
Christmas was here and I was sick with tonsillitis. I was late and couldn’t hold down any food. Living in a halfway house at nine months sober, I had just told my boyfriend two weeks before that my recovery/sobriety was more important than our relationship. I had made another bad decision getting involved with him and if he really wanted to be with me he would take the time to get to know who I am, let me focus on my recovery and wait for me. We had only been together a month and the relationship had already proven to be toxic.
So there I was, standing in the soup isle at Walgreens trying to find food that I could hold down. I was afraid and worried the plan B pill I took two weeks before didn’t work. So I picked up a pregnancy test while I was there. I went home and took the test….Positive! What was I going to do?
My 5-year-old daughter was living with her Nana and I couldn’t even take care of myself. My so-called boyfriend was no better off then I was. He was living in the men’s house with the same program I was in. God help me, what do I do? I prayed and cried. I called my sponsor with the news and she told me that whatever my decision was, God will help me through it.
I told my boyfriend and he blew up at me when I told him I was considering adoption. “I will never sign the papers,” he said. I prayed and kept going to meetings. I knew that God would not have helped me get this far only to let me fall down. So I researched adoption anyways and the fights with my boyfriend got worse. I told him if he can’t be there for me, go through this with me instead of against me and be thoughtful of my needs, how can he take care of a baby? It was all about him and nothing else. I wanted him to think about what was best for the baby. I was done and told him not to call me anymore. I decided to see what American Adoptions was about. God led me every step of the way.
My adoption specialist was wonderful. She let me unload on her and comforted me. She also assured me that there had been many cases where the birth father had never signed the paperwork and the courts and judge still allowed the adoption to take place. I proceeded to go through the process regardless of what my now ex-boyfriend thought. American Adoptions guided me in all the steps I needed to take to involve the birthfather and give him the opportunity to be involved. I wanted him to have every opportunity to be involved in this baby’s life. He refused and eventually vanished.
With an awesome support system between American Adoptions, my friends in recovery meetings, my sponsor and God, I was prepared to go all the way. I chose the perfect adoptive family with an open adoption plan. The plan involved pictures, letters, and even an opportunity to see my baby every few years. I had a year sobriety and moved into my own apartment. I got custody of my daughter back and things were finally looking better. American Adoptions also helped me to involve my little girl and help her to understand what was going on.
I continued to work my recovery program and used all resources available to me to stay emotionally sane. Not one day did I deny the love I had and still have for my baby. I knew I was doing what was best for her. I was able to build a relationship with the adoptive family and made sure to talk about all my feelings, good and bad. God provided me the peace and strength that I needed to persevere. I decided I wanted the adoptive mother in the delivery room with me also.
It was time. I was afraid but ready. I kept close to God and my recovery. American Adoptions had also assured me that all the legal steps had been taken regarding the father of the baby. The family had arrived in town the day before I was induced. They went to my last doctor’s appointment with me and were very supportive. The adoptive mother got to cut the cord when Ari was born. It was perfect. My step mom was on one side of me and Ari’s new mom was on the other. I cannot even describe how I felt other than blessed.
Meanwhile, the adoptive father was waiting in the waiting room with three of my closest friends and my daughter. I held Ari on my chest to warm her body, she was so beautiful. Over the next two days I had more visitors. As we walked down the hall I had a crew of love and support following me. Ari and the nurse lead us followed by me, the adoptive parents, my sponsor and two of my closest friends. We were a sight to see and I was the most blessed person alive. I got to watch two people, who could not become parents on their own, fall in complete love with Ari. They were doting on her every minute. I knew in my heart I had made the right decision. I had no fears regarding the adoptive family and we walked out of the hospital together. The adoptive family took me home and that is when I finally cried. They assured me that they will take good care of her and I knew in my heart that they would.
I miss her and love her so much, but the peace God gave me in knowing I did the right thing never left me. God made me a vessel for one of his miracles. He turned my fear to joy, my indiscretion’s into blessings and gave a very deserving family the most precious gift, the gift of parenthood.
I get pictures online and stay in contact with the adoptive family. Ari is in good hands and I thank God for American Adoptions.
AND… I am still sober!
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