If The Birth Father is Unsupportive or Unknown

You Can Still Pursue an Adoption Plan

If you are considering adoption but the father of your baby is unsupportive of your adoption decision, you are not alone. Unsupportive, unknown or uninterested birth fathers are very common, and yet the adoption process may proceed depending upon state law and the facts of your situation.

Our Adoption Specialists are fully trained on the adoption laws of each state and will work with you to legally move forward with the adoption. They will also provide support and help with any communication you may have with the birth father.

In many cases, unsupportive birth fathers simply do not understand the adoption process. If he is willing, your Adoption Specialist can educate him about the adoption process and how he can work with you during your adoption journey and have his own adoption plan separate from yours.

The following are some other common birth father scenarios:

Birth Father Wants You to Get an Abortion

If the father of your baby is trying to convince you to get an abortion, understand that this is completely your decision under law.

Consider how you would feel if he convinced you to get an abortion. You will be the one left battling the emotional and physical effects of the abortion – not him.

Many times, birth fathers simply do not understand the adoption process and view abortion as the easy way out. Consider sharing with him all the reasons why you feel adoption is the best decision for everyone and why you are against the abortion. You may also suggest that the two of you speak with an Adoption Specialist, so he might learn more about adoption.

Finally, remember that no one can force you into making a decision that you don’t believe is right – not your parents, friends or even the father of the baby.

Birth Father is Completely Out of the Picture

It is natural to feel discouraged if the father of your child absents himself from the picture once a baby is on the way. It is not your job to search for an uncooperative or uninterested father. American Adoptions has worked with thousands of women who did not have contact with the father of their babies, whether it was by choice or because they did not know who or where the father was.

If the father of your baby isn't in the picture, your Adoption Specialist will explain your rights and responsibilities according to your state's law. Your Adoption Specialist will also be able to explain to you how the adoption process works when the birth father is unknown or cannot to be located.

Birth Father is In and Out of the Picture

If the father of your baby displays a pattern of coming into and going out of your life, this behavior will probably not change upon the baby’s arrival.

If having your child raised by two involved parents is important to you, consider the birth father’s sporadic behavior and how it might play out in the future. Consider how it affects you now and how it could affect your child in the future.

Even if the father of the baby wants you to keep the baby, your child may have a father whom you and your child won’t be able to rely on. Adoption can provide a stable, two-parent home to match the life you have envisioned for your baby.

Birth Father is Abusive

Many women have come to American Adoptions, suffering from physical, sexual, financial and/or psychological abuse before and/or during pregnancy. Abuse typically increases during pregnancy and it can be dangerous.

At American Adoptions, pregnant women who choose adoption are provided any necessary counseling and support they require before, during and after the adoption. Our Adoptions Specialists are available 24/7 to help in any way they can.

They will also be able to provide you with resources in your area to help you escape your abusive relationship and, when you are ready, to help you begin making an adoption plan.

Birth Father is in Jail

If the father of your baby is in jail, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you the adoption process according to your state's laws.

If the birth father is supportive of your adoption decision, your Adoption Specialist can also coordinate with him to receive pictures and letters of the child as he or she grows up, just as you will.

If he is unsupportive of the adoption, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you your rights and how his incarceration may or may not play a role in the adoption process.


For further information on how an unsupportive birth father or any other birth father situation will affect your adoption, contact American Adoptions at 1-800-ADOPTION or click the following to request free adoption information.


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