If all birth fathers were supportive emotionally, physically and financially, adoption would be far less common than it is today. In fact, unsupportive birth fathers are one of the leading reasons why pregnant women choose adoption.
So, if you are considering adoption but the father of your baby is unsupportive of your adoption decision, you are not alone.
Our Adoption Specialists are fully trained on the adoption laws of each state and will work with you to legally move forward with the adoption. They will also provide support and help with any communication you may have with the birth father.
In many cases, birth fathers simply do not understand the adoption process. Your Adoption Specialist can educate him about the adoption process and how he can work with you in your adoption journey, if he chooses.
The following are some other common birth father scenarios:
Birth Father Wants You to Get an Abortion
If the father of your baby is trying to convince you to get an abortion, understand that your baby’s future is ultimately your decision.
Consider how you would feel if he convinced you to get an abortion. You will be the one left battling the emotional and physical effects of the abortion – not him.
Many times, birth fathers simply do not understand the adoption process and view abortion as the easy way out. Consider sharing with him all the reasons why you feel adoption is the best decision for everyone and why you are against the abortion. You may also suggest that the two of you speak with an Adoption Specialist, so he might see adoption differently.
Finally, remember that no one can force you into making a decision that you don’t believe is right – not your parents, friends or even the father of the baby.
Birth Father is Completely Out of the Picture
It is natural to feel discouraged if the father of your child is nowhere to be found. However, American Adoptions has worked with thousands of women who did not have contact with the father of their baby, whether it was by choice or because they did not know who the father was.
If the father of your baby isn't in the picture, your Adoption Specialist will explain your rights and responsibilities according to your state's law. Your Adoption Specialist will also be able to explain to you how the adoption process works when the birth father is unknown or cannot to be located.
Birth Father is In and Out of the Picture
If the father of your baby displays a pattern of coming into and going out of your life, this behavior will probably not change upon the baby’s arrival.
If seeing your child raised in a two-parent household is important to you, consider the birth father’s sporadic behavior and how it might play out in the future. Consider how it affects you now and how it could affect your child in the future.
Even if the father of the baby wants you to keep the baby, your child may have a father whom you and your child won’t be able to rely on. Adoption can provide a stable, two-parent home to match the life you have envisioned for your baby.
Birth Father is Abusive
Many women have come to American Adoptions, reeling from the physical and psychological effects of abuse while being pregnant and not knowing where to turn next.
At American Adoptions, pregnant women who choose adoption are provided any necessary counseling and support they require before, during and after the adoption. Our Adoptions Specialists are available 24/7 to help in any way they can.
They will also be able to provide you with resources in your area to help you escape your abusive relationship and, when you are ready, to help you begin making an adoption plan.
Birth Father is in Jail
If the father of your baby is in jail, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you the adoption process according to your state's laws.
If the birth father is supportive of your adoption decision, your Adoption Specialist can also coordinate with him to receive pictures and letters of the child as he or she grows up, just as you will.
If he is unsupportive of the adoption, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you your rights and how his incarceration may or may not play a role in the adoption process.
For further information on how an unsupportive birth father or any other birth father situation will affect your adoption, contact American Adoptions at 1-800-ADOPTION or click the following to request free adoption information.
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