Unsupportive, Uninterested or Unknown Birth Fathers

You Can Still Pursue an Adoption Plan

We hear it often: "I want to choose adoption for my baby but the father doesn't."

If this sentenced describes your situation, you are not alone, and you may still attempt to pursue an adoption plan.

American Adoptions works with adoption attorneys across the country who, depending on the facts of the situation, may be able to help you place your baby for adoption even without the birth father's consent. Each adoption situation is unique, and your attorney will help you determine whether you can move forward with you adoption plan.

The following are some common birth father scenarios with which American Adoptions may still be able to help:

Birth Father is Out of the Picture or Unknown

American Adoptions has worked with countless women who had little or no contact with the father of their baby, either intentionally or because they did not know who the father was nor did he know he had gotten her pregnant.

In the cases of unkown birth fathers, many states have a Putative Father Registry, for which the father must sign up to protect his parental rights. If he doesn't register, an adoption attorney may attempt to find him to inform him of the pending adoption. Oftentimes, if all options to find him are exhausted, you may be able to pursue an adoption plan. However, as always, each situation is case-by-case, and your attorney and the court will determine wether the case may proceed without the father voluntarily terminating his rights.

If the father is known, yet he is unsupportive of the adoption plan, he may need to show his desire to assume the father figure role to retain his parental rights. Once again, an adoption attorney will investigate the situation and determine whether the adoption may proceed without his consent.

Birth Father is In and Out of the Picture

If the father of your baby displays a pattern of coming into and going out of your life, this behavior will probably not change upon the baby’s arrival.

If seeing your child raised in a two-parent household is important to you, consider the birth father’s sporadic behavior and how it might play out in the future. 

If you determine that adoption is best for your child, an adoption attorney will assess the situation, speak with him about his rights, and attempt to continue your adoption plan with or without his consent.

Birth Father is Abusive

Many women have come to American Adoptions reeling from the physical and psychological effects of abuse while being pregnant and not knowing where to turn next.

At American Adoptions, pregnant women who choose adoption are provided any necessary counseling and support they require before, during and after the adoption. Our Adoptions Specialists are available 24/7 to help in any way they can.

They will also be able to provide you with resources in your area to help you escape your abusive relationship and, when you are ready, to help you begin making an adoption plan.

Birth Father Wants You to Get an Abortion

If the father of your baby is trying to convince you to get an abortion, understand that your baby’s future is ultimately your decision.

Consider how you would feel if he convinced you to get an abortion. You will be the one left battling the emotional and physical effects of the abortion – not him.

Many times, birth fathers simply do not understand the adoption process and view abortion as the easy way out. Consider sharing with him all the reasons why you feel adoption is the best decision for everyone and why you are against the abortion. You may also suggest that the two of you speak with an Adoption Specialist, so he might see adoption differently.

Finally, remember that no one can force you into making a decision that you don’t believe is right – not your parents, friends or even the father of the baby. 

Birth Father is in Jail

If the father of your baby is in jail, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you the adoption process according to your state's laws.

If the birth father is supportive of your adoption decision, your Adoption Specialist can also coordinate with him to receive pictures and letters of the child as he or she grows up, just as you will.

If he is unsupportive of the adoption, your Adoption Specialist will be able to explain to you your rights and how his incarceration may or may not play a role in the adoption process.


Oftentimes birth fathers simply do not understand adoption and their rights in this process. Your attorney can educate him about his rights, and an Adoption Specialist can educate him about how he can work with you throughout your adoption journey, if he chooses.

Remember, if you are interested in pursuing an adoption plan but the birth father fits in any of these scenarios, you may still be able to place your baby for adoption without the birth father’s consent. Contact American Adoptions today and we can discuss your situation with you in more detail and whether you may still be able to pursue adoption.


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