How to Create a Strong Adoption Support System

And How They Can Help

A strong adoption support system can be crucial during pregnancy and after the adoption. Even just one person who is there for you can make you feel less alone during this time.

The members of your adoption support system may help you choose an adoptive family, support you during the adoption process and even assist you with day-to-day like help with errands or childcare.

Who to Include in Your Adoption Support System

Different people will offer unique perspectives or roles in your adoption support system, which should include anyone who has your best interests in mind and who will listen to and support you during your pregnancy – even if they don’t fully agree with your adoption decision.

Some people you may want in your adoption support system include:

  • Romantic partner
  • Friend or roommate
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Grandparents or other family members
  • Pastor or religious leader
  • Teacher, school counselor or mentor
  • Your Adoption Specialist

How to Start Gathering a Support System

First ask yourself, who can I talk to about my pregnancy?

Sometimes it’s obvious who to seek support from during the adoption. You might tell your sister, best friend or mom everything and know she will listen about your pregnancy and adoption plans. Religious leaders, mentors or school counselors also might be good people to speak to early on, as they’ll be able to discuss your adoption decision, as it relates to your faith or education. 

Other women don’t know who to reach out to and instead turn first to an Adoption Specialist or Adoption Counselor. At American Adoptions, each woman is assigned to an Adoption Specialist who can be reached 24/7 and will be with you during the entire adoption process. He or she isn’t an expert on the people in your life, but does have a wealth of experience in helping women talk to family and friends about adoption.

How They Can Help

Your Adoption Specialist will be an extremely helpful person in your adoption support system. He or she will be able to walk you through the adoption process, making sure that you’re comfortable each step of the way and that your wishes are being met. Your Adoption Specialist can also educate people in your life by providing information about adoption and talking with them by phone or email. Having others who understand the benefits of adoption will help you feel less isolated, and your family and friends may be more supportive of your adoption choice once they understand your adoption plan.

People who positively support your adoption can be a helpful presence when you tell others about your adoption plans. Having them by your side will build your confidence, and they can help make sure you say everything you want to.

No matter how much they care about you, emotional support can be a challenge for some people. So it’s also important to recognize the other ways your support system can help you during your pregnancy and after the adoption. Not everyone in your life may approve of your adoption plan wholeheartedly, but that doesn’t change their desire to be there for you. These people might not be the best to talk about adoption with, but they may still help you with childcare or rides to doctor’s appointments or by providing meals during your delivery recovery.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help with day-to-day tasks that become more difficult during pregnancy, and be sure to thank those in your life who are supporting you. Share how much their support means to you, and open up about why you feel strongly about your adoption decision. Ask that they be there throughout the process, and tell them how they can help.

Remember, your Adoption Specialist will be there for support and can offer guidance if you’re unsure how to approach a family member or friend. If you need help deciding who to bring into your adoption support system, call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak to an Adoption Specialist.

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