Articles for Pregnant Women

Unplanned Pregnancy Help

You Are Not Giving Up

From talk shows to books and even casual conversation amongst friends, the term "give up" has unfortunately become synonymous with adoption. Birth mothers are often referred to as women who chose to "give up" their babies for adoption. However, if American society stopped to think about what we were really saying, we would realize that it couldn't be further from the truth.

The reality of adoption is that birth mothers do not "give up" anything. When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, birth mothers wade through a sea of emotion, finding their inner strength and the courage to pursue adoption.

By choosing adoption, birth mothers do not "give up" their baby for adoption. Instead, they are choosing a life for their children - a life complete with all of the hugs, laughter and lullabies that they desire for them. Birth mothers choose to do not what is easiest for themselves, but choose the long, emotional path to adoption out of nothing but pure love for their child.

Today's adoptions are very different than those even one generation ago, let alone how adoptions were in the 1950s or 1960s. Gone are the days when a birth mother simply handed her baby over to an adoptive family, never to see or hear from them again - never knowing how her child grew up, never knowing how much her child was loved.

Choosing An Adoption Professional

When deciding on adoption, one of the first things will be choosing which adoption professional who you will work with in finding an adoptive family for your child. They all have their pros and cons and all are divided into three categories.

1. Adoption Agency
2. Attorney
3. Facilitator

Adoption Agency - Adoption agencies are licensed and regulated by state authorities. This means they must follow certain standards to be able to continue providing services. State authorities review their files to make sure agency standards are kept at a very high level. Adoption agencies usually handle the entire adoption process for you. Adoption agencies can be divided into three categories.

• Small agencies - Usually one or two staff members are employed. The advantage is you can become very intimate with the staff at this agency. The disadvantages are that small agencies usually only serve a specific county or state. This complicates things if you wish to choose an adoptive family from another area or if you plan to relocate in the future. Small agencies are not typically able to serve beyond their geographic area. Furthermore, small agencies rarely provide support after regular business hours which can be frustrating to many pregnant women. You also need to check for religious affiliation as this can be uncomfortable for pregnant mothers who don't share religious views.
• Medium sized - Usually five or more staff members are employed. The advantage is medium-sized agencies usually serve a larger geographic area, which provides you more support and options. It is important to determine the areas served, because should you move outside their coverage area, you may not be able to receive support services.
• National agencies- Usually twenty or more staff members are employed. The advantage is national agencies typically serve all fifty states. They often have a wide selection of adoptive families who they screen and educate more than medium or small-sized agencies. This allows you to feel more secure in selecting a family who is going to be a great mom and dad. You can move to state and national agencies will either provide services to you or arrange for services to be provided. This is especially beneficial for adopted children - as they grow they can reach out and get answers to questions they may have about adoption. National agencies also provide around-the-clock service and often have one staff member who is your guide throughout the entire process. American Adoptions is a national agency. You can review the wide selection of American Adoptions adoptive family profiles here.

Adoption Questions

Learning of an unplanned pregnancy will always bring about a wave of emotions and questions of what to do next.

If you are considering adoption, you are likely asking yourself some or all of the following questions about adoption.

Deciding Between Abortion or Adoption

Abortion is fast and painless. Abortion is a clean break. No one will have to even know I was pregnant if I have an abortion early enough.

Life doesn't begin until birth, anyway, right?

Kandace was scheduled for an abortion the very next morning when she spoke with a girlfriend from high school she hadn't heard from in many years. Today, Kandace says she sees her friend as a guardian angel who came in just the knick of time to save her baby's life.

"It was crazy, surreal - almost everyone around me was trying to convince me to have an abortion … that it would be best for my baby, considering my situation," Kandace recalls.

A Helpful Story: Dealing with an Unplanned Pregnancy

You confide to your aunt that you have thought about keeping your baby, and instead of listening as you had really hoped, she responds, "you can't keep that baby! Where's the money going to come from? You think you can support a baby on your income? Ha! You need to just get an abortion and forget this ever happened."

The very thought of ending a tiny life because you weren't ready puts a pit in your stomach you know will never subside. How could she think that? Easy: it's not her body, or life.

But this is your baby … and your choice.

Rachelle, 28, joined American Adoptions two years ago. When she was 17, she found herself in the same situation - unexpectedly pregnant. She and her boyfriend, Clayton, were excited about graduation and applying for college when they learned the news. Rachelle got an abortion. It's been more than 10 years, but still feels an extreme sense of guilt and has since become clinically depressed, requiring regular counseling.

"Every single day of my life since I took away that baby's life because of my selfish wants, I have cried, hard … usually in the shower, Rachelle begins to explain, with tears in her eyes at the very thought. "It's when I'm getting ready for the day that I begin to envision my baby and what her life could have been if it weren't for me."

Why Should I Choose Adoption?

It only takes one time - in the heat of a moment you unknowingly set down a path that changes your life forever. Staring down at a positive pregnancy test, suddenly everything changes. What do you do now?

There are many reasons why you should choose adoption. Women of all ages, of all walks of life, have been in your shoes. Young, old, married or unmarried, unplanned pregnancy affects everyone.

Why should you choose adoption?

There are many things to consider when weighing your options, including you personal relationships, you current emotional and financial state and even your hopes and aspirations for the future.

Advantages of Adoption

The advantages of adoption are, quite simply, endless. Whether it’s helping the birth mother continue her education, giving an infertile couple the joy of parenting, or providing a child with countless opportunities in life, the advantages of adoption are everywhere you look. However, not all of the advantages are always on the surface, as many are cumulative and continue to develop over time.

Request Free Adoption Information

Whether you just began pondering the adoption option or are already certain adoption will allow you to provide the best life for your baby, American Adoptions can help! Receive our free Guide for Women Considering Adoption today!

Teen Pregnancy

Growing up is far from easy. As a teenager, you begin to find your own path in this world - to figure out who you are as an adult. However, this time can also be exciting, heartbreaking and frustrating all at once as you leave your childhood behind and begin your new life as young adult.

You may have experienced your first real taste of love, or you may have just gotten caught up in a moment when sharing a kiss turned into something much more. Now you find yourself wondering how your parents, friends and others at school will react when they find out that not only have you been having sex, but you are now pregnant.

Adoption? The Five Phases of Deciding

It is hard to sort through the waves of confusing thoughts and emotions when trying to decide what is the best decision for your unborn baby.  There are five common feelings pregnant women go through when considering adoption or parenting.  Understanding the five phases will help you decide if adoption is the best choice. 

Phase One:  Uncertainity if Adoption is the Right Choice

"I don't know if I can choose adoption"  is a common thought that many women contemplate. Many pregnant women at this stage feel confused and overwhelmed. They know their situation is not ideal to raise a child, but they often struggle with feelings of doubt and pressures from families and friends. Keep in mind, these people may not be focusing on what is best for the child, which is your ultimate responsibility. Common thoughts and feelings at this stage include:

• Pressure from people who believe parenting is your only option
• Feelings of intense stress and confusion
• Fear of telling your family and friends about your pregnancy
• Just wanting the pregnancy to go away
• Worries about the father of the baby
• Fear of how you could possible raise a child