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Matthew & Dennis
It's as if fate brought us and the mother of our first child together. Now we're hoping fate will introduce us to you. We are parents, so we know you face a very difficult choice. Thank you for choosing adoption, for checking out our profile, and for considering us.
Adoption in Our Lives
There's life before being a parent and then there's life after being a parent. Having children forever changes your life in ways you cannot understand or appreciate until you are a parent.
We have a 2-year-old daughter named Charlotte who joined our family through adoption. We've had her from birth. She brings so much joy to our family. She loves reading books, making us chase her around the dining room table, helping around the house with chores, cooking things up in her pretend kitchen, and putting hot sauce on her food.
For us, having a child has been fulfilling beyond what we could have imagined. We cannot spend enough time together as a family. We take delight in every moment with our daughter. And when we're not with her, we're always thinking and talking about her.
We also think it's important for our daughter to have a sibling. Life has its challenges but, in our experience, the bond and friendship that siblings provide helps a great deal in facing those challenges. We think it's especially important for our daughter to have a sibling who can relate to her background as a transracial adoptee, so they can face the challenges that come with that together. Charlotte will be an awesome big sister because she has such a bright, loving personality. She's sweet, caring, and funny. We look forward to growing our family through adoption again and cannot wait to welcome another child into our lives!
Qualities We Love, Admire and Respect in Each Other
Dennis About Matthew: I feel lucky to have Matthew as my husband for so many reasons. He's easily one of the funniest people I've ever known. He always makes me laugh and reminds me to slow down and relax and not take things so seriously all the time. His playful attitude is especially on display when he's entertaining children. I admire how smart he is and how he is constantly reading to learn about history and other issues. Matthew is also a very talented violinist and classical music aficionado. He introduced me to classical music, and I appreciate that he enjoys teaching me and our daughter about it. Matthew is also an incredible cook, which means I'm very spoiled. He loves to make up new recipes and is always in the kitchen working on a new type of cuisine. Matthew is also very kind and generous with his friends and values his friendships above most all things, which is why you'll often find us hosting groups of friends in our home over a meal that Matthew has prepared.
Matthew About Dennis: Dennis, who is an Eagle Scout, is a boy scout through and through. He lives by the oath, "To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight." He's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, always putting other people before himself and always respectful. I've never heard a bad thing said about Dennis, which is more than I can say about myself (I sometimes can offend people with my bone-dry sense of humor, although I don't mean to and I'm quick to apologize). Dennis is also extremely humble, never one to boast about his many talents. Any parent would be proud to have a son like Dennis. He's also a wonderful, loving, attentive, patient father.
We both have traveled widely, have friends from diverse backgrounds, and love learning and experiencing different cultures. We believe no one culture is better than another, that each has something different to offer. We do not fear diversity, but embrace it, knowing that it is our differences that make life interesting. We want to impart this openness and curiosity to the children we raise. At the same time, we want them to understand and embrace their own cultural heritage. We have a responsibility to keep our histories, traditions, and customs alive, but they also keep us grounded in an ever-changing world.
Regardless of our children's backgrounds, we will expose them to many different cultures. We spend a lot of time with our friends, included among them are African Americans, Filipinos, Greeks, Haitians, Icelanders, Mexicans, Indians, Pakistanis, Persians, Taiwanese, and Trinidadians. We love sharing in their cultural traditions. In addition, we live in Washington, D.C., a cosmopolitan city, where we are constantly exposed to different cultures. One of our favorite annual events is the weekend in spring when all the embassies open their doors to the public. It's fun to learn about what makes people proud of their countries.
Also, as the white parents of an African American girl, we're very sensitive to representation. We make sure she has role models that look like her and that she sees herself reflected in the books she reads, the shows and movies she watches, and the music she listens to.
Our House and Neighborhood
We live in an otherwise spacious 3-bedroom, 2.5-bathroom row house in a residential part of Washington, D.C. We say otherwise because our house is filling up with kids' toys and books!
Our neighborhood is racially, ethnically, and culturally diverse with lots of families with young children. Our neighbors are friendly and constantly doing things to promote community, like hosting block parties, book clubs, and volunteer activities (although COVID has moved much of these activities online). We love to sit on our front porch and chat with our neighbors and wave to passers by. Just a few blocks away is a big park with a fun playground that is always teeming with kids. A few blocks further, the city is building an outdoor community pool. Also within walking distance is an indoor community pool. We are also adjacent to Rock Creek Part, a really beautiful urban oasis kind of like New York's Central Park, that is great for exploring nature, jogging, biking, hiking, and picnicking. And the day care, elementary, middle, and high schools your child would go to are all within walking distance.
D.C. is great for families. Most of the museums are free, the National Zoo (also free) is nearby, and there are tons of family-friendly cultural events taking place all the time, including concerts and festivals, that we enjoy going to.
Our Extended Families
Family is central to us.
Dennis's family lives two hours away in Delaware. We get together often (especially for the holidays) either here in D.C., in Delaware, or at our vacation home in West Virginia. During the pandemic, Dennis's mom has been staying with us a lot to help take care of our daughter. Mom-mom, as our daughter calls her, delights in getting to spend so much quality time with her grandchild.
Matthew's family lives in Florida where he grew up. We visit one another every few months. When we're in Florida, you can usually find us swimming with Matthew's niece and nephew in his brother's pool or at the beach. We like to take Matthew's family to the museums and historic sites around D.C. when they visit. Matthew's parents, who their grandchildren call Gogi and Bapi, love to video chat with our daughter, and they do so about twice a week.
From Us to You
You may have already read a lot; thank you for taking the time to read about us.
We (Matthew and Dennis) have been together for 11 years, married for 5 of them. We have a deep and abiding love for each other. We get along really well and respect each other. In fact, we started out as friends and consider each other best friends. We know each other's likes and dislikes. Dennis knows Matthew needs coffee first thing in the morning. And Matthew knows Dennis always has room for ice cream. Dennis knows Matthew is passionate about justice and equality. And Matthew knows Dennis is just as passionate about Mariah Carey.
We're both hardworking professionals with jobs we enjoy (Dennis is an architect and Matthew is a writer/editor). But we are equally serious about our hobbies and spending time with family and friends. For example, Matthew is an incredible cook, who often whips up tasty meals. And Dennis enjoys gardening around or home and is forever working on home-improvement projects. We both like to ride our bikes, take long walks, and visit the many museums in D.C. Most of all, we enjoy being with our friends and family.
Early on when we were just dating, we talked about family and how important family is to each of us. We learned that we both wanted to have a house full of children. But we also learned that we both wanted to grow our families through adoption. Other means, like surrogacy, never entered our minds.
It's also never mattered to us whether the children we raise look like us or have our personalities. We believe what matters most is that children know they are loved and are safe and cared for. That's what connects children and parents together and what makes a family, not some aspect of their DNA or whether children look like their parents. We know from personal experience. We have an adopted child, we have friends and family who have adopted, and we've grown up with adopted children. Love makes a family, and we have a lot of love to give.
That you would consider placing your child in our care takes great faith and trust. We do not take that for granted, and we want to assure you we will always put your child's needs before our own should you choose adoption and us. Your child will know that they are loved and are safe and cared for. But don't just take our word for it. We want you to be a part of your child's life however you feel comfortable and in keeping with what's best for them. We certainly won't be hiding the fact that they were adopted, so some kind of relationship with you would be ideal. Of course, we will send you letters and pictures to keep you updated on your child's development. But we're also open to more contact, should you desire it and, again, in keeping with what is best for the child. Depending on where you live, we may be able to plan the occasional in-person visit.
Thank you for considering us. Regardless of the decision you make, we hope for the best for you and your child.
Matthew & Dennis