Our life changed in 2022 when we got a call that a baby girl had been born. We were on a plane within hours to a town across the country where we ended up spending 45 days while our daughter was in the NICU (she was born prematurely– though you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at her now!).

At the time of writing this Kari is about 1.5 years old. She loves climbing, dancing and jumping. Her favorite food is definitely grapes (cut into slivers of course) and her favorite time of day is storytime right before bedtime. She has the most beautiful smile and her laugh is infectious, especially during the homemade puppet shows we put on.

She regularly gets spoiled by Ben's parents (his mom always gives her chocolate chips), Ben's brothers (they are always bringing her a new toy or book), Trevor's parents (his mom can't stop ordering special presents for her) and Trevor's sister (she used to work in a child development lab and has been invaluable in giving parenting advice).

She loves playing with other kids (including her cousin who always plays tag with her) and we can't wait for her to have a little brother or sister.

Part of what we love about each other are the unique passions that make us who we are. For example, Trevor is passionate about decorating and design-- he is currently taking a course from the New York Institute of Art and Design to get certified in Interior Design. Trevor is also passionate about cooking and baking. One time Trevor won a pie contest at one of Ben's biggest family reunions (over 50 pies were submitted!). He doesn't let Ben forget this whenever we are both in the kitchen.

Ben is passionate about helping others grow. He has volunteered for mentorship roles in his community, has been a swim coach, founded a non-profit focused on learning, and currently works as a manager where he can focus on empowering others. He also enjoys reading, screen-printing as a creative outlet, and building strong friendships.

Together, we share strong passions for family: budgeting for multiple family visits and vacations every year, regularly staying in touch, and enjoying the love and support that we are both blessed to have. We love to garden and can't forget to mention our passion for our favorite hockey team: the Carolina Hurricanes!

One of our favorite family traditions is our "memory jar." Every year we buy and decorate a large glass jar. Then, as the year goes on we write down memories on small pieces of paper and put them in the jar along with plane tickets, mini golf score cards, wedding invitations, and any other little sentimental items. Then on New Year's Eve we sit down and go through the memories from that past year together as a family. This is such a special time for us as we remember all the amazing things we got to experience that year. Then we put the jar away in storage and start on next year's jar! Another similar tradition is our habit of buying Christmas ornaments whenever we go on vacation or visit another city. This means that every year at Christmas we are reminded of all the adventures we had together! Trevor and I both come from families with a rich history of traditions (family weekend in the fall, grandchild cookie favorites, Thanksgiving "Chopped" competitions etc) that we are excited to carry forward in our family.

We currently live in a 4 bedroom house just outside of Raleigh, North Carolina. We are only 2 hours from the beach and 2 hours from the mountains. We are close enough to the city that there is always something to do but far enough away that we have a peaceful neighborhood with lots of parks, families, and nature. Our house is 2 blocks away from a community pool and 1 block away from a greenway that connects 3 playgrounds. It is also has one of the best school districts in the state. We can't wait to start building memories as a family in it!

Trevor, Ben and their daughter Kari share this home with 2 cats and a dog... the pets all have unique personalities but get along well and love other people! Our neighborhood has lots of families and regular outdoors events where kids can play together. We frequently exchange meals and gardening advice with our neighbors and our daughter has playdates with some of the other kids in the neighborhood.

One thing we are excited about is gardening! We have herbs, blueberry bushes, and pawpaw trees in our yard along with a lot of other flowers. We take extra care with our rose bushes, which each meaningful symbolize some of our extended family members.

We wouldn't be where we are today without the love, support, and care of our families. Family has always been there for us when times get tough. We both feel so lucky to not only have loving and joyful immediate families, but also amazing extended families.

We live 15 minutes away from Ben's family and visit them often. We usually see each other multiple times a week at someone's house, a park, a restaurant, etc. Ben's parents regularly babysit Kari so we can go out for a date night, and Ben's 3 brothers compete to become the favorite uncle. Ben has a HUGE extended family (over 30 cousins-- 3 of whom are adopted). Some of our favorite vacations have been at Ben's family re-unions. At one recent family re-union in Florida we went skydiving!

Trevor video calls his family every day. He talks to his mom, dad and sister, but he especially enjoys any time he can see his 3 year old niece– he loves to video call as she is waking up from a nap. Trevor's sister and niece live 2 hours away from us, so we frequently visit each other and occasionally spend a couple of weeks together. Trevor's sister, mother, and grandmother all had roles in our wedding ceremony (along with matching members of Ben's family).

We are so thankful that our family has provided full support of our marriage and adoption process… we definitely don't take that for granted in today's society.

We are so excited to take the chance to introduce ourselves to you a bit more directly. To be honest, we are a bit nervous writing this letter since we know that you are trying to decide whether we should be an important part of you and your child's life. We know that we won't be able to describe ourselves perfectly, but we hope that after reading this letter you will at least have an understanding of how important family is to us and how committed we are to making sure this adoption turns out in the best possible way for everyone: for us, for the child, and for you.

We have been married for over 7 years and have been talking about building our family the whole time. As a gay couple we have had times during our lives where we felt like our version of family didn't always match with what society thought it should be. However, we feel incredibly blessed to have ended up together and we wouldn't have it any other way! Being gay has allowed us to have open and honest conversations about household roles, parenting styles, facing adversity, and the joy that comes from a love that is too strong to ignore.

We have no idea what it feels like to go through the adoption process as a birth mother. From talking with some birth mothers we know that while everyone's journey can be different they often involve complicated emotions, relationships, conversations and decisions. While we will never know exactly what you are feeling right now, we are willing to listen and learn from as much as you are willing to share. We also want to clearly recognize that YOU are an important piece of this adoption process as well. Regardless of whatever happens in the future you will always be an important part of this child's story and of our story. We are committed to making sure that this process is as healthy and smooth as possible for everyone, including you.

The good news is that we are optimists! We believe that adoption is the right path for us and that it will bring joy and love into our lives. We are also hopeful that you feel comfortable enough with us to be a part of an open adoption. We know that every birth mother views open adoption differently and we want to respect your boundaries. But we are also willing work with you to make this an open adoption in the strongest sense of the word. We hope that our child grows up feeling confident that there are so many people out there that love him/her, not only his/her parents but also his/her birth mother.

We don't take adoption lightly. We know that adoption is a promise: a promise to the child, a promise to God, and a promise to you. We promise that we will make family our first priority in life. We promise that we will make sure this child feels loved and supported. We promise to keep you as involved as you feel comfortable... whether that is simply sending occasional letters/pictures or whether that is working with you to schedule phone calls and visits. We know that we can't promise to be perfect parents, but we promise to try our hardest and to seek out help and advice when we need it. We promise that your child will grow up in a household where they will be safe and cared for.

We would be honored to be the family that you choose to parent your child and look forward to building as close a relationship to you as you feel comfortable with.

Ben & Trevor