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Heather & Elizabeth
We are so excited to have the opportunity to adopt a child and create the family we have always hoped for. We are very grateful for you and believe that considering adoption is an incredible act of kindness and bravery. Thank you for thinking of us. We can't wait to become parents and are happy to answer any questions you have as we begin this journey together.
We have learned a lot watching the adopted children in our families come to understand their own histories and the incredible stories of how they came to be part of our family. We are happy that adoption has changed considerably over the years and that speaking openly about adoption as an adoptive parent and as an adopted child is far more common than it used to be.
We plan to talk openly with our child about his/her adoption journey and how we became a family, being mindful of the feelings and questions they might have throughout their life. We want to support our child learning about their ancestry, genetics, and everything that has helped them become who they are. It is our hope that our child can be connected to his/her birth parents in some way and have the opportunity to ask questions and form their own relationship in whatever way feels comfortable for both the child and the birth parents.
The most important message we hope to convey to our child is that they are loved and cherished by us and our entire families.
Why We Chose Adoption
Having kids was always in the cards for us – or so we’ve hoped. Being two women in a committed relationship we thought, great! Double the chance of getting pregnant. Not the case. After years of fertility treatments and emotional, physical, and financial tolls, we decided adoption was our way to becoming parents. Shortly after making that decision, it started to feel not so much like adoption was just a way for us to have a child, but instead it felt like adoption is the way we are supposed to become parents.
The thought of adopting just feels right to us. Maybe it’s because we have so many adopted kids in our families, but it just feels like there is a child about to arrive in this world that is meant to make our family complete. We are so grateful that adoption is an option for us and that there are birth parents like you willing to consider us as adoptive parents.
We try to make life as exciting and meaningful as we can – in our home life, our work, and everything in between. Before we met and when we were both younger, traveling all over the world was a priority. We both worked multiple jobs to save our pennies so we could visit interesting places from the beaches of Greece to the mountains of Laos and see what else is out there.
As we’ve gotten older we still love to visit new places, but our focus has moved from traveling to creating a home that can be the center of our lives, where our family and friends love to spend time. It’s important to us that we have a safe, comfortable, and happy home to live in and raise a child. A home that is filled with laughter, lots of game-playing and good cooking. A place where we can snuggle in front of the fire with our kid reading books, and work in the garden trying to grow our own vegetables – not as easy as we thought when we started.
The people we love are the most important part of our life – whether they’re near or far—and the connections we have with our families and close friends are what really fulfills us. Having a child to bring into this life we have created would be incredible.
Our Extended Families
We come from very large, loving families. To say they are excited about us adopting a child is a giant understatement. Once this journey began for us, our families were fully on board and ready to help – and by help, we mean thinking of ways to spoil this child and coming up with a never-ending list of the fun things we are all going to do together.
Board games are a must. Our families play games non-stop when we see them, whether it’s over the holidays, hot cocoa in-hand, or during a summer beach vacation. And we can’t leave out cooking. We grew up surrounded by our extended families having gatherings all the time – Heather’s family had cookouts where it seemed like the whole town was invited, and Elizabeth’s close-knit aunts, uncles and cousins put on regular feasts that always seem to end up with special guests joining from church or the community.
Beyond our families, we have an extraordinary set of friends that act and feel just like they’re family too. Most of our friends have children that we get to spend time with often. We can’t wait to add our own child into the mix and see them all grow up together. We know how lucky we are to have such support from our families and friends. It will be incredible to bring a child into this life of ours and see them thrive from the attention, generosity, and love from our family and friends.
Our House and Neighborhood
We are very fortunate to live in one of the most diverse, dynamic, and interesting cities in the world. Downtown is just a short drive away, but what really makes our home special is our neighborhood. We live in what could be considered a small town within a big city. There are lots of families with kids of all ages who live near us, which explains why the playgrounds are always so lively. The main square is just a short walk from our house and it has everything we need – a hardware store with a manager that chats us up whenever we go in, a pet store that’s Finn and Gherkin’s favorite stop, and a farmer’s market where we get fresh eggs and veggies for the week. It’s a close-knit community, with a lot of advocacy focused on family well-being and making our small ‘town’ a safe and supportive environment for kids to thrive.
Our home is much the same -- welcoming, cozy and with a lot of friends and family always around. We have a big backyard that has seen a good deal of kid playtime over the years, a deck that is perfect for grilling, and a big kitchen that we love to cook in. In winter, sitting near the fireplace is our favorite spot in the evenings, and come summer there is a porch out front that gets a good breeze and is a great spot for watching the neighborhood kids play.
From Us to You
Never in our lives has a letter seemed more important than this one. Though we have no way to know who you are or what you’re going through right now, one thing seems very certain to us: that your decision to consider placing your child for adoption is an act of immeasurable love and bravery. And we are so grateful for that.
Like so many people, we have wanted to have children for a long while, yet have been unable to do so. We wish you could see how excited we are to have a family and how much love and affection fills our home. Since that’s not possible, we hope we can convey a small measure of our love, admiration and excitement to you through this note.
Put simply, we would relish the opportunity to bring your child into our family. Both individually and as a couple, we feel ready and excited to become parents. And though we suppose no one really knows what it’s going to be like to become a parent until it happens, we know we want to raise a child in much the same way we were raised: by loving parents who always made sure that we were their first priority, made us feel secure and tried to help us grow into compassionate, kind adults who contribute meaningfully to the people and community around them. Security, love and our commitment to helping him or her grow into being an independent, happy adult- those are the most important things we believe we have to give to a child.
We have been together for more than 10 years and finally married in 2011. We began trying to become pregnant soon after. Through five years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, still excited to become parents, we decided to adopt. Adoption feels like a natural way for us to create a family. Partially because we have so many members of our family who have been adopted and partially because - as a gay couple - we always knew there would be more challenges for us in building a family than for some.
While anyone who’s close to us knows how much we want to be parents, anyone who has the chance to meet our family and friends would see that we have competition over who’s most excited about the fact that we are planning to adopt. This child will have lots of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as a whole bunch of family friends to celebrate their addition to our family and their growth and development over the years. We can't wait for all of that to begin.
Along with our family and friends, our home is a big part of who we are. We live in a neighborhood full of families of all kinds, with playgrounds, schools, and a pool all just a short walk away. Incredibly, there is a national park within walking distance where we spend lots of time hiking with our dogs. Our neighbors are our friends and the community we live in feels just like a small town, even though it’s actually part of a big city.
Our house is warm and welcoming and often full of friends and visiting family. We have a big kitchen that we love to cook in, a finished basement that is perfect for a giant kids’ playroom, and a large backyard for kids to run around.
We are also eager to get to know you and build a relationship if you are interested in an open adoption. No matter what you decide, we will always honor how important you are to this child’s life and keep you updated with photos and letters. Between the two of us, we have eight adopted cousins, so we know how amazing it will be to bring a child into our lives through adoption.
We feel incredibly lucky to have this chance to bring a child into our life and complete our family. We cannot wait to meet him or her.
Again, thank you. We hope your search finds the best possible placement for you and your child.
All our best,
Heather & Elizabeth
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