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Alex & Whiley
We are so thankful to have our profile sitting before you. It is exciting and nerve wracking to think about the power behind the words we choose to write here. Please know that we have rewritten these words countless times, and could still never express our joy and gratitude as we continue on this journey.
How We Met
Alex quickly managed to convince Whiley to meet him for a first date, after the two of us began talking online. Of course as fate would have it, Alex was running late for the first date (he was stuck in the OR as a medical student). Whiley nervously waited outside the restaurant that Alex had made reservations at, which happened to be the best restaurant in town.
Meeting for the first time, Whiley reached out for a handshake and Alex naturally wrapped around him in a hug. Dinner was filled with laughs and playful jokes, like two kids in the lunchroom. The question came about what Whiley was doing before the dinner; he had tried not to mention that he had nervously showed up hours before, much too early, and had to go to the local mall to kill time while Alex lagged behind. We spoke about our common interests like camping, hiking and fishing. On his way home, Alex could not wait to ask Whiley for a second date, so he called him in the car to ask! We met again a few days later, this time for a more relaxing walk through the park. This gave us a chance to really get to know each other.
Our adventures so far together have been many, and there are many more planned! We love to explore nature in places we have never been before; from the icy mountains of Alaska, to the alien-like deserts of southern Utah, to the hardwood forests of the Pacific northwest, we explore and soak up as much as we can. Camping, hunting, fishing and hiking are all favorite activities on our adventures. In fact, Alex actually proposed to Whiley on the end of a dock overlooking a secluded, scenic lake nestled in the mountains of northern Washington; a flashback the two of us think back on fondly.
Our travels have certainly become addictive, as our list of places to see gets longer and longer. We also have a new list of places that we can't wait to explore with our child; frequent visits to grandparents, Disney World, and vacations to the Florida Keys (just like Whiley had when he was growing up). It will be so exciting for us to see the joy in our child's eyes that we experienced ourselves years ago.
Why We Chose Adoption
As a same-sex couple, nature has given us a bit of a hard time when it comes to growing our family. Acknowledging this reality and moving forward with alternative family planning was something that took time to come to terms with. Other options were investigated, like surrogacy. It was ultimately the experiences of some close friends, who had either adopted children of their own or were adopted themselves, that led to us researching adoption further.
Open, honest conversations were had not only between the the two of us but with family as well. As more was discovered about the process, it became very clear to us that this was definitely the best choice for building our family. We then needed to make sure that we were not only committed, but were ready. We rallied family support, read as much as we could about the process, and spoke to a family counselor about how to best prepare.
The knowledge and understanding led to comfort and joy, as we began to dream of our child's first steps, first day of school, even graduating from college!
Our Extended Families
Our extended family is a handful to say the least, and unique for both of us. Alex is the oldest of four children, all with big personalities (and big mouths to match). Holidays are a big deal in his household, where everyone gets together to eat a meal that seems to last most of the day. The grandmothers’ traditions can never be escaped (despite various grandchildren’s best efforts); one insists everyone share three things they are thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner, and if you don’t have three, you will be stared at until you do! The other grandmother will not let you get away without singing your assigned role in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” as loud as possible. If the neighbors can’t hear, it doesn’t count.
Whiley is the oldest of three boys, all very creative. His family may be smaller than Alex’s, but they know how to have a good time. Whiley’s grandmother will scare you with an (almost cruel) prank, and his grandfather will chat your ear off about his latest hunting escapades despite you having fallen asleep twenty minutes ago. His mother doesn’t take anyone’s sass (except for Alex’s, which she has to tolerate).
Each individual in our extended family brings something unique to the table that makes us a beautiful unit. Everyone is beyond excited to welcome our newest family member (especially the upcoming grandma's, who don't forget to ask how they can help every single day!)
Our House and Neighborhood
We live in a quaint suburban neighborhood, surrounded by beautiful woodland with running streams and rolling hills. Wildlife is plentiful, and we take full advantage; we can often be found watching the local birds and chipmunks enjoy the fresh food we place outside our back door during the Spring and Summer (much better than the shows on television!). Our house is a three bedroom, two bathroom townhouse that is set on three floors.
Our backyard abuts dense woodland that is filled with critters that venture out to the edge. Nights are often spent watching the fireflies from the back porch.
Our community is full of friendly neighbors that function like a big family; we have community get-togethers multiple times a year, where we all catch up and tell stories. Laughs are shared by parents as their children play on the community playground, or in the community pool.
We are a community of individuals from all walks of life; our neighbors on one side are an elderly couple that love to share their baked goods every holiday (which is much appreciated, naturally). On the other side is a young couple with two young children that certainly always seem to keep them busy!
From Us to You
It is impossible for us to imagine how you feel as you sit and read this letter. We have thought carefully, questioned time and time again what to say here to convey that we are loving, genuine people who will be great parents. This is difficult to communicate in such few words, but we will do our best. We were both raised by truly loving families that did everything in their power to make us better versions of themselves. They made it their life’s work. They have instilled these values in both of us, and we believe that this is the strongest point that we would like to convey to you here.
We have been blessed by success and a beautiful life so far. Our marriage is strong and continues to grow stronger despite many tests. These are not things that we take for granted, and we are thankful every day. We both agree that our ultimate purpose in this life is to do as our parents have done for us; take our gifts, and use them to create the best possible life for our future child. We want to offer a child the best of what we have, protect them from the dangers of this world the best we can, and set them up for the success that is possible with the fire that lies in the heart of every person.
We are so impressed by your strength to come to the decision you have, to share your gift just as we hope to share ours. We have no doubt that this process brings worries, trials and tribulations for you as well. We may be strangers now, but we hope that should we become intertwined in this journey, that not only your child would become a part of our lives, but you as well if that is your wish. We know the precious gift you possess is not easy to part ways with, but looking out in their best interest is so brave. Giving your child the gift you are giving aligns with our goal of giving the gifts we have as well. Between all of us, we will show this child the amazing things this world has to offer. We would love to include you in this, again, if that is your wish. Letters, videos, photographs (perhaps a few too many) are all things we would be excited to share with you. You should know how your gift has not only blessed us through the years, but blessed everyone else around them as well.
Ultimately, to every mother who reads this letter, we wish you love and success. It is the selfless decision made by individuals like yourself that blesses so many children, and so many parents as well. We are humbled to have been given this opportunity, and are thankful that our paths have crossed, even if only in passing with your reading of our story. As we said in the beginning of this letter, finding the right words to express our readiness for a child are hard to formulate. We hope this letter finds you well, and that you find peace and joy throughout this journey.
Alex & Whiley
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